Looks like TA..TA...TROUBLE in paradise....

I'm worried about my breasts.



Yeah...you heard me.
My breasts are in a bad relationship.

Allow me to explain....

Roughly three years ago, my breasts were very independent and confident. They were perky,stood up tall,looked great and moved forward looking the world straight in the eye. They never seemed to worry about whether there was someone else in their life and were content to spend all their time with each other. Twins will tend to do that I've heard and they are twins you know(although one is a little heavier than the other).

Anyway, things were great for my breasts, until they met the bad boys.
I discovered this relationship by accident really. I woke up one morning and my breasts were gone. I discovered them twisted in love knots with the armpits.
I was speechless!
How long the relationship had been going on, I have no idea, but after I found out about it, they didn't even TRY to hide it anymore.
It took me awhile to get used to the idea.
Of course the armpits are twins too.
But they're not the smooth, polished breast twins.
They're rough around the edges. Think of Don Johnson with that scruffy, never gets shaved clean look and you'll understand. Personally I think that was part of the appeal.
They have that aura of rebellion and the quiet loner.

But they're also sneaky....just hiding quietly and then suddenly causing trouble.
Sweaty pits can cause a lot of commotion you know?

I'm not imaging things either.
I have noticed lately that my breasts are mopey. They hang around, looking at the floor a lot and don't have that bounce they used to. I even noticed them flirting with my elbows the other night when I was sitting at the table. They kept brushing up against them and subtly making them aware they were around.
These things I keep noticing are telling me that they are probably unhappy.
Besides,the signs are all there that the armpits are man handling them. They're always red and raw looking,scratched up and stuff,after spending the night with the armpits.

I'm thinking that they just don't think that bad boy roughness is what they want anymore.

I've tried talking to them, but they just hide in the top of my stomach and won't look up to listen to me.
Hell, they don't even sit right in my bras anymore. They used to enjoy getting dressed up in something lacy and frilly, but now they just act like they're annoyed to be wearing anything at all.

It's sad really...to see them like this.

I really miss the old days. We used to have tons of fun together. They used to have a wonderful sense of humor. Sometimes, they'd come dancing out of the top of my shirt, just for the hell of it. Now sometimes they flop out by accident, usually looking sadly at my feet,as though my feet can relieve their misery somehow.

We used to chase my husband through the house, squirting him with milk and laughing hysterically. He was always a pretty good sport about it too, kissing all of us after the festivities...

They used to aid me in giving him a proper titty whipping too but they haven't even been up for that lately.

*sigh*

I just don't know what to do for them. They're not themselves at all. I'm thinking about trying to keep them away from the armpits for awhile and see if it helps. Maybe sequestering them in one of these 24/7 for awhile will help them come to their senses.



Hey...I'm desperate to have my old breasts back, ok?

I have to go back to the dentist today too. Me and my eyebrow will be leaving shortly to go and get the last filling done. My teeth may be white but man, the back ones are jacked up. The fillings I got as a child ruined my back teeth. So now I'm getting them fixed up good as new. I don't anticipate any delays today because the dentist and hygienist both already know about the eyebrow. Of course I do expect the hygienist to want to put make up on me, because she mentioned it the other day as a way to disguise the eyebrow. I told her I appreciated the suggestion but I'd pass. I don't wear makeup as anyone can plainly see by my pictures.
I'll just have to look like a mangled eyebrow freak until it grows back in.

I need to drop my car off tonight to get the heater fixed. Last spring when they fixed my air conditioner, they forgot to hook up the heater.I discovered this recently, as you may have read in an earlier blog.
Which takes me back to my breasts.
I know they're depressed because they haven't even wanted to drive lately! It's been 30 degrees every morning and still they just sit there quietly and look at my knees.
It's just terrible.

I have some things that need fixing and I'm prepared to take it on!
(Besides, I have this "thing" for rubber gloves...heh heh)