The beauty and her beastly ways....

As I was sitting on the porch Saturday morning a thought came to me.
Seriously...I can think.

I was thinking...SHIT! It's almost Christmas again!!!
it seems like it was just a couple of weeks ago that my husband was taking this picture of me.



As always, I look like I know what's going on...heh heh

As the realization sunk in that Christmas was just around the corner again, I pondered what I needed to accomplish and how to accomplish it. All of the things I wanted to make or complete just wasn't going to happen and I had to have a back up plan.
So I called my friend Lisa and we went out to breakfast. Then we made our way to the craft show at the civic center. I had a plan forming in me little head...

I would Christmas shop at the craft show!!!

Man..I'm so brilliant at times it scares me.

So we paid our admission and wandered the aisles, bullying our way through the masses of old people who hate me (you all know about that) and strollers filled with screaming children.
Next year, I'm bringing a frigging stroller because man, that's the only way you can get through to anything. As long as no one wants to see the imaginary baby in it, I'll be ok.)
I swear to you, if I didn't know better, I'd think that everyone had taken a dose of this stuff before they'd arrived at the civic center.



Especially the old people. GAH!

I ended up buying a few gifts, small ones because I couldn't get in close enough to anything to really look at it, and I had no problemo buying myself a nice bottle of red port to chug on the way home in the minivan (Lisa drove bless her little heart).
It got me thinking that if I called a cab to pick me up and take me to the grocery store, I could grocery shop on Elderly Hell day. I'd just have to be drunk to do it. It might be an alternative to eating cereal with kool-aid because I forgot to get milk and there's no way in hell I'm hitting up a grocery store on a Tuesday.

Just a thought....

I had several important thoughts over the weekend.
That happens sometimes and as much as it annoys me, I go with it...

Anyway...I was sitting on my porch having coffee Sunday morning.
I looked around at all my neighbors going off to church, waving happily at me as they drove off.
Ok..well it was more like this....Them avoiding looking at me,(the sinner sitting on her porch),as they fled from the safety of their houses to their cars. Then peeling out, they screeched their tires to speed to church as fast as they could to pray for me.



Yeah..

But anyway...I was sitting on the porch drinking coffee and talking on the phone with my family in Maine (who also were not in church. You could say that I get my heathen-ness honestly.)
I hadn't combed my hair and it was snarled and poofy on one side, while the other side was flatter. It resembled the ass of a sheep dog that's run through a brier patch but only gotten tangled on one side.



I was looking smart and pretty like my friend Al, you know?

I had a black sweatshirt on with the name of the high school my daughters attend, and a pair of electric blue sleep pants covered with yellow duckies.
If I'd only had a beer in my hand instead of a coffee mug and some rubber boots, I'd have looked like this one woman I saw in GoMart the other day who was trying to buy beer without an ID.

The entire thing got me thinking about a few things and this is what I came up with.

I don't believe in Hell.



GASP!!!(Hey! gasp can be the word for today..)

I'm sure there are some who would think I'm a foolish,wild,insane person, but I think that was the general consensus before my "I don't believe in hell" confession.
The way I look at it is like this....
What worse suffering could there possibly be for a poor sinner like me than to make it to Heaven's pearly gates, have St.Peter stamp my head with a big ole REJECT stamp and find myself shooting out of a birth canal into some third world nation to suffer a lot worse than I did in this life?
Maybe we all get send back here to suffer the day to day living, until we get it right?
It's a theory and all, but I sometimes wonder. I believe in an entity that's bigger than all of us, but I'm not so certain about all the things they talk about in the bible. It's a never ending mystery to me and one I am always researching and thinking about.
And to be honest, it's very difficult living in the place I live in and having that attitude.

So usually I keep quiet about it.
But occasionally I will voice my opinion...(normally there is alcohol and recklessness involved when that happens.)

Mmmm....so because I'm feeling a little more mouthy and careless, this is my mood for today.



The way things stand right now no matter what I say or what I do, someone is always mad at me or gossiping about me, so why not just do what I want and say what I want? The amount of drama among some adults in this area would amaze you. It's amazed me right into a cynical attitude and several drinks every evening...

Until tomorrow...peace out!!!