Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Old things and hairy stuff...just because you deserve to know

Today is Elderly Hell Day.
Now don't get me wrong. I have nothing against anyone who is over the age of 75. THEY all seem to have something against me.
I have been hit with huge ass old lady purses while shopping because I've been holding the item they want to purchase. The backs of me legs and ankles have been destroyed by shopping carts because they have run over me with them.
AND I have actually been hit by one of their cars in the parking lot and then yelled at because there was a dent in the trunk of the car where I landed.
They've snorted at me, sneered at me, talked about me and pointed me out to eachother.



I'm an old white lady target.For some reason the little old chinese and black ladies I've run into love me. Maybe they're not evil and crazy?)

So understandably, I avoid going out on Tuesdays. It's senior citizen discount day and I don't need to endanger my life any more than it already is. But today, I have to take my oldest daughter to the pain clinic for shots.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING WHEN YOU SCHEDULED YOUR APPOINTMENT ON A TUESDAY??!!" I said to her last week on the phone.

So today's word will aptly be the word "afraid"...

I'm on strike until I get my windows. I hadn't shaved my legs for a couple of days anyway, so I'm not going to shave them until I have my windows, even if they're just in the garage.
No windows?
Then you sleep with Planet of the Apes,Sugar.



Speaking of sugar...check this ad for sugar I found. It's pretty awesome. Personally I'm a real sugar kind of gal. I prefer it and if I'm going to indulge in a soda or something else, then it's not going to contain artificial sweetener. That's probably why I need my own flashing lights and beep beep noises when I back up. Ah well...
I still want real sugar and this advertisement says it's good for us.



I got stuff to do, you know. Mary's not the only one who needs sugar!

Well, although this is somewhat short and sweet..(heh heh)
I need to go get ready for my journey into Elderly Hell Day.

This is my mood....



Old ladies scare me shitless. What can I say?
Posted by at

16 comments:

  1. RebeccaNovember 20, 2007 at 5:35 AM

    Old ladies can be very scary...good luck out there.

    ReplyDelete
  2. rennrattNovember 20, 2007 at 5:53 AM

    Yes, best of luck today!

    Have you ever tried Demerara sugar? Or "Sugar in the Raw"?

    Both are most awesome, and are even SWEETER than the standard white stuff!

    ReplyDelete
  3. RonNovember 20, 2007 at 7:45 AM

    I loved sugar. :( Now my doctor say's I can't have it anymore. (sobbing uncontrollably) Then he explained to me that chocolate has sugar (hysterical crying). Needless to say I'm looking for another doctor. Be careful out there them thar elderly can be a might cranky when not in their natural habitat of bingo halls or retirement homes.

    ReplyDelete
  4. RonNovember 20, 2007 at 7:45 AM

    I loved sugar. :( Now my doctor say's I can't have it anymore. (sobbing uncontrollably) Then he explained to me that chocolate has sugar (hysterical crying). Needless to say I'm looking for another doctor. Be careful out there them thar elderly can be a might cranky when not in their natural habitat of bingo halls or retirement homes.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousNovember 20, 2007 at 7:50 AM

    now why are you typing in here everyday and not baking my bread!! come on now - get kneading and get it north lol
    miss you guys ya know

    Bob

    ReplyDelete
  6. BuzzardbillyNovember 20, 2007 at 9:01 AM

    That sugar ad is great. Sorry I have no advice for fending off the oldbies. If I knew how to do that I wouldn't be cowering behind a locked door all day knowing that they're out there in droves.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Evil Twin's WifeNovember 20, 2007 at 9:52 AM

    You should go to Walmart on Tuesdays. It's just Group Home Day there. Not too many seniors.

    ReplyDelete
  8. MichaelNovember 20, 2007 at 11:32 AM

    Hey Tammie,
    Interesting approach with the no shaving protest, think that'll do it?

    and etw, I'm not sure if I could tell if it was Group Home day at Walmart!
    m.

    ReplyDelete
  9. tiffNovember 20, 2007 at 1:37 PM

    Dude - doing the Watusi is a direct RESULT of too much sugar. Wheee!!

    You have the absolute WORST luck with old people, of that there can be no doubt. Geez!

    ReplyDelete
  10. JenniferNovember 20, 2007 at 3:03 PM

    That Mary ad? UNBELIEVABLY priceless. I want to print it and frame it and hang it in my studio.

    I used to fear old people, too. Until I realized I didn't fear them individually. I feared the day I'd become one of them.

    I'm over it now.

    Mostly.

    ReplyDelete
  11. brendalove@gmail.comNovember 20, 2007 at 4:55 PM

    Just give them a flyer advertising the products from your new job and they'll instantly love you!

    ReplyDelete
  12. kenjuNovember 20, 2007 at 5:36 PM

    Be afraid - be very afraid!

    Want to be scared? Go to the Patrick Street K-Mart on Saturday. You'll see plenty of oldies, hordes of fatties and toothless wonders!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Rebecca BurchNovember 21, 2007 at 12:49 PM

    This post made me laugh. Thanks! It's been a not-so-much-for-laughing-kinda-day. But you're so right... I don't get why they can be so friggin' RUDE sometimes!

    ReplyDelete
  14. RebeccaNovember 21, 2007 at 4:03 PM

    Not posting today? Whatever will I do without your humor to give me a chance at a smile?

    ReplyDelete
  15. RonNovember 21, 2007 at 5:11 PM

    Yeah.. Looks like no post. :( what our us web stalkers to do? Oh well, Have a nice Thanksgiving!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Blonde GoddessNovember 21, 2007 at 5:18 PM

    It's 8:15 EST and I just posted. I was a busy lady today...sorry...

    I love my stalkers...hahaha...

    ReplyDelete

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