We throw out boomerangs all the time...we just don't realize it...

Some of you may think I'm just a big old kook all the time. Maybe you see the blonde hair and think it's the appropriate shade for my personality. Of course most of what you see is my take on things and my attempt to make my life a little lighter and brighter. I'm just your average woman trying to get through the mundane and insanity with a sense of humor.
Of course there are other sides to me as well. I suppose you could say that I just don't talk much about the more serious aspects of my personality. I am capable of being serious. I just don't do it so often or maybe it's just that I don't share those moments as often.
But today I will share something with you, just because it made me feel like maybe there are times we make a difference in other people's lives even when we don't think we do.
I am what you might call a secret crusader.I don't tell anyone about those random acts of kindness. I'm not looking for recognition and quite honestly, I'd rather not even share this story with you, but I felt compelled to open up about it today, so I will. But no one is allowed to make a fuss over it, ok?

I often find myself helping people out who look like they need a hand.Complete strangers, sometimes standing on a street corner or sitting on a bench somewhere capture my attention and I do what I can to help. Maybe you'll think it's crazy but I get these feelings and I act on them. Sometimes I give them money and other times I give them food or I drive home and bring back a coat or blanket...whatever I feel the urge to do, I do it.
I try to be cautious of the danger and there hasn't ever been an occasion when I've found myself threatened, except for once.

That's the story I'm going to tell you about today.

Several years ago I was driving in Charleston and I saw a young mother with a toddler and a baby walking in the rain. It was cold out and as I passed I noticed that none of them had very warm clothes on and were soaked to the skin. I got that feeling I get when I think I should help someone, so I turned around and stopped to ask the woman if she wanted a ride somewhere.
She eyed me suspiciously, but said OK and got in the car with her kids.
I asked her where she needed to go and when I didn't get a response I turned to look at her. She was holding a knife. She pointed the knife at me and told me to give her all my money. I told her I could do that but I didn't have much to give her. I started driving and calmly asked her if I could help her in some other way.
She just stared at me blankly.
I told her that I could take her to the grocery store and buy her what she needed and then bring her home. I asked if that would be more help than just giving her some money.
She just kept staring at me. Then she asked me why I would do that for her. She said I was just trying to trick her.
So I asked her why she wouldn't trust me to do that. "After all", I reminded her, "I did stop to pick you up. I saw you walking in the rain with your children and thought you needed some help."
Her face softened a little. She sat quietly for a moment and she told me that she had been on her way to the store to try to get formula and food. She said her ex-boyfriend has stolen her EBT card and she didn't have anything for the kids.
"I was gonna try to steal it." she told me.
"Let me take you to the store and buy you some diapers and formula and some food." I said.
She started crying and put the knife away. She looked down in her lap and stared at the floor.She said she was sorry and she only threatened me because her kids didn't have anything to eat.She said she didn't have anyone to help her. She didn't know what to do. She kept saying she was sorry, over and over again.
I told her it was ok. I had kids too and I understood.
I told her that maybe there were options she hadn't thought about to help her. I told her that maybe she could go to a church for help or the Salvation Army or Union Mission.
She just shrugged her shoulders and looked out the window.
We got to the grocery store and I bought her some groceries. She was very humble about what she needed but I threw some extras in to make sure she would have enough until she got another EBT card. Plus I gave her some money to buy more milk for her toddler. I was a little worried it might go to something else, but I took a chance that it wouldn't so she'd have enough to feed all of them for a month.
We loaded everything up and I drove her home. It was a pretty horrible thing to see. She wouldn't let me go all the way inside her building. Her apartment was on the second floor of a building where the front door was torn off and the rain had warped the floor near the door. Paint was peeling off the walls inside and one of the apartment doors had been repaired with boards where it had been kicked in. It smelled like mold and urine. She had me help carry the bags into the building but carried the rest upstairs as I watched the kids.
It just wasn't a very safe place for a young mother and two small children to live.
I felt bad leaving without doing anything else for her but at least I had helped a little.
She thanked me over and over again and I told her it was ok. I said that sometimes we all need a little help. Then I left.

Well....

Guess who I ran into over the weekend?

That same young woman!

She recognized me immediately. I'm happy to say, I did not recognize her. She looked wonderful! She had put on some weight, looked healthy and was smiling from ear to ear. She looked confident and happy, not broken and tired like the last time I'd seen her.
She told me that she was now living in a subsidized housing area near by, a safer and nicer place than the old apartment and was attending WVSU.
She said my kindness had given her the courage to trust others and ask for help.

I hugged her and told her I was so happy I'd run into her. I told her I had gone back to her apartment a couple of months after I'd bought her groceries because I was worried she might need help again, but she wasn't there. I said I had often wondered what had happened to her.

We said our good-byes and I gave her my phone number to call me if she needed something.
Then she hugged me again and smiled at me.

I was so happy for her. I know that not all things turn out for the best but sometimes it does happen.
There are some people who say they're not going to give to a homeless person because it's a con or they're a drunken dead beat who needs to get a job. But I'm a firm believer in being kind to others, regardless of their condition.
They're a human being.
Everyone has a story that's brought them to the place that they are.
I have a story and so do you.
My circumstances may differ from yours but even if they were the same, we might deal with things in different ways.
My choices might not be the same as yours because we are different people.
We can pretend to know how to fix other people's lives but we are not qualified to judge the pain and suffering someone else can tolerate. Everyone handles things differently. What might be difficult for me to get through, might be the same thing that breaks you.
So I suppose you could say that when I see someone in a broken state, it softens my heart no matter what the circumstances. I can't put it out of my head like it doesn't exist. I think about it and it bothers me.



Maybe I can't save the world but I can do a little bit to help sometimes.

One of my favorite sayings goes like this...."We cannot do great things on this Earth, only small things with great love."...(aptly quoted by Mother Teresa.)
While the small things may not seem so great to us, sometimes it's the small things that make a huge difference in other people's lives.
A smile can be contagious and so can acts of kindness.
Yeah...I'm bracing myself for some jerk to pick up on this post and crucify it and ridicule me, but because I am who I am, I'd extend a helping hand to them as quickly as I would to anyone else.

That's just part of who I am.

Of course I am also the goofy, silly, crazy, unusual Tammie that you see more often. Perhaps I am more complex than you first thought?

Anyway...I'm not really in the mood for a word of the day. I guess I'm just feeling serious and thinking long and hard about whether I'm really being the best person I can be or not.

My mood? I don't know...maybe I'm feeling a lot like this...



I'm not thinking about the holiday approaching. I'm not worrying about how much I have to do or how much I have left to buy. I'm not worried that I don't have enough time to do everything or enough money to buy everything.

I'm thinking about the people who won't have a roof over their heads or food in their bellies tonight.

I don't have enough money to help everyone. Sometimes I don't even have enough to help one person, but when I am able to help someone, I will. It might not make a difference and help change things, but then again...it might.

The goofy me will be back tomorrow but in the meantime...maybe you can spread a little kindness today?