This Tourette's moment brought to you by all the assholes who can't drive worth a shit...

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE!!??!!

I just got back from driving the kids to school this morning and I'm ready to beat someone's ass!!!
As if it's not bad enough to have to drive a car load of teenagers to school every morning, I always manage to get behind some moron who has the driving ability of a slug.
THIS morning, I got behind DUI man, who felt like he needed to drive at least eight miles an hour BELOW the speed limit. He had a mechanic's uniform on and he was driving a truck with gray primer paint and bonded fenders.
Normally someone like that would be speeding like their dick hair was on fire and trying to crowd you into the ditch if you weren't going fast enough but this dude was moving at a snail's pace...
(I can drive better than him when I'm steering with my nipples.)
So I'm assuming he was a DUI offender and either didn't HAVE a license so he didn't want to get pulled over OR he just didn't need any more points taken off his license for speeding. Who fucking knows?
The beer cans rolling around in the back of the truck caused me to assume he MAY have had some issues with drinking and the law and that's why he was being so careful. The only man I know who drives THAT slowly and cautiously that's NOT 100 years old, is my brother in law(and that's just because he's a snoop that needs to know everything that's happening so he's looking around at everything BUT the road!!!)

So I'm driving along, behind this asshole and one of the kids in the car starts bitching at me because he's going to be late for lab.
Then they all start in, because other than my daughter they're all indestructible masses of hormones with death wishes and underdeveloped senses of caution....you know...teen aged boys.



They all tell me to pass him, in the turning lane, which I WANT to do but I can't because I don't want to place anyone in danger. When I refuse to try to kill us all in a fiery wreck, they ride me about it the rest of the way to school. My daughter copes to the massive chaos ,by turning up the radio,which not only subjects me to their torment, but the torment of listening to some rap song about being in the club at decibels that make my ears bleed....



I was slightly irritated...

I got home to find that the cat had thrown up on the couch and the dog was in the middle of eating it.
Bleh...
So I put the dog outside and cleaned up the cat sick.
Then I got a cup of coffee and decided to check my email.
Hmmm...
Nothing terribly interesting was in my inbox except for an email from someone that said, "Your blog."
So I opened it.

I know I shouldn't open email from people I don't know, but I figured it was someone who had read my blog and had something to say about it.
I was right...
This person, who was too cowardly to tell me their name went on to blast me and insult me because of what I write in here.

They called me crude and immature..(true..true..but aren't we all at times? I'm just not crude and immature impaired and have no problems doing it frequently and with enthusiasm.)

They told me I was NOT FUNNY and they didn't appreciate the garbage I posted and were appalled that they were forced to read such crap. (Ummm...FORCED to read it? If it appalls you then don't fucking read it rocket scientist! Does it take someone crude and immature to tell you something like that?)

Oh yeah...I'm an idiot as well, according to this person and write at an elementary school level.(Hey!What can I say? I'm considerate like that. This way everyone can read it if they want to and understand it.)

Actually I think it could be The Wayne who found it and shot off that nasty email. You see, there were a few other remarks in there that were derogatory, but having received other emails like this before concerning other blogs I've written in, I found it to be odd that the person who slammed me didn't accuse me of posting someone else's picture as my own.
Normally that's what they do.
They take a dig at everything, including your picture.

So I've got to assume it could be The Wayne. After all, it's probably someone I know who knows that's really a picture of me and that's what I look like.

Now why in the world would The Wayne be threatened by anything I would have to say in my blog?

Personally I think it could be that there are people who are ultra-conservative,like The Wayne, who feel threatened by a woman speaking her mind and saying what she really thinks.
It's probably unsettling to people like that when they see that there is a woman who feels free to swear like a sailor and talk openly about the enjoyment she gives herself with plastic and rubber accessories.
It may even unsettle them to think that a woman has a mind of her own and doesn't feel it's necessary to be her husband's puppet.
They may even find any discussion about boobies and farts to be completely disgusting and vulgar.( I know big words like disgusting and vulgar..heh heh)

While I might not be the most intelligent woman in the universe, I don't write in here to dazzle anyone's mind.
I write in here because I want to.
Because most days, this is the only place where I feel like anything I'm thinking or feeling is recognized, even if I'm the only one reading it.

I have a voice here. And in a world of silent posturing, it's liberating.

It's empowering.

So...if you don't like it, don't read it. It's that simple. But don't try to police me and bully me into writing for your entertainment or approval because it's not going to happen.

I am who I am and that's all there is to it....
This is MY place to be myself and in this superficial world we live in, EVERYONE should have someplace they can feel free to be them self without criticism or judgement.

So...today's word is "ME"...

I'm going to make noise like crazy every time I say it or someone else says it. It's important to know who you are and be proud of it.I try to be honest about who I am.

I am ME...WHOO..DING..DING..CLAP..CLAP..BANG..WHISTLE..WHEE!!!

Today's mood is this....



I'm going to be ME!!! all day today and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it....