A concussion and a yeast problem...

I'm making bread this morning. It took some finangling but it's still happening. First...my yeast was old so I had to go pick up some new stuff from the infamous FasChek Jeff Kay used to work at.
Then I got hit in the back of the head with two huge, heavy ass enamel bowls while I was digging for my bread pans.



The top cupboard has a hole in the door of it. (The hubby had some issues one day over something) and the damn bowls came falling down on the back of my head as I was digging in the bottom cupboard.
Clang!
I even have a huge knot there to prove I was injured which you can be CERTAIN I will tell Mr.Man about.
Goddamn it I'm tired of him never fixing anything!!! What the fuck?!?!

Speaking of what the fuck...Bob, if you're reading this then yes, I will send you bread but it will be closer to Christmas. I figured if bread is good then bread and cookies would be better, right? And since I'm not in a cookie baking mode today, you're gonna have to wait a little bit...

So...in light of earlier events today the word of the day is going to have to be "Ow!"



I have a feeling that I may be saying it more than once today...

As a matter of fact, Mr.Man may be saying it as well. Right now I'm so pissed off about the house falling down around my head that I want to wait, perched on my knees and give him a good old fashioned punch to the nut sack when he walks in the door tonight.



OW!!!
Whee! DING.DING.BANG.CLANG. HAHAHA!

I'm feeling myself to be slightly bitter about the non-maintenance going on with the house. Can you tell?

I suppose I should just get it all off my chest and then I'll feel better. I shouldn't have been holding it all inside in the first place...
We ordered new windows for the dining room. If I'm not mistaken, they were ordered in September. And no, the fact that they're not installed in my dining room yet, doesn't bother me.
The fact that they're STILL AT THE PLACE WE ORDERED THEM FROM BOTHERS ME!!!
They are paid for.
There has been PLENTY of time to go get them and plenty of opportunities (He has a three day weekend every weekend).
He just won't do it. They have sat there for three weeks and he hasn't gone out to get them.

*sigh*

I'm not going to bash him here. He takes good care of me and I love him for it. I just get frustrated because I can't do certain things in the house and I have to wait on him to do them. I try not to be a nag about things either, because I know he works hard and he's tired when he comes home. It's just hard to see things falling down around me and being helpless to do them myself. I hate having to rely on someone else to do something for me. I just wish I could do it and get it done.
I guess I could always make an attempt but I don't want to make it worse, you know?

My house is just a wreck and it's getting harder and harder for me to ignore it. Just this morning I found a stiff piece of swiss cheese on the floor in front of the refrigerator. My first thought was, "What the hell?". My second thought was, "I wonder if I can make a refrigerator magnet or something out of this?"

Have I been watching too many craft shows or what?

I'm homesick again today...
THAT probably doesn't help with the frustration over the house.

I remember my friend Barb telling me how much she loved living in New Sweden, but how she would never really belong there because she was "from away", which is the term most Mainers use for people who have moved into Maine and weren't born and raised there.
At the time I couldn't imagine there being any truth to it.
She was well loved in our community. She was involved at church, school, 4-H, Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, etc....I didn't know a soul who didn't love Barb.
But of course, now that I have moved somewhere else and I'm the one who's "from away" I understand what she meant.

When I first moved down here, I was a novelty. I talked differently and I was from another place. I think a few of the people I made friends with found that to be the thing they liked the best about me. My differentness.
In time of course, the thicker Maine accent disappeared and while I still say things that distinguish me from the people here, I have picked up a little bit of a southern accent and a few sayings. (Not 'you all' though...can't say it right and it's still 'you guys' to me.
Yes, I have made lots of friends and I've been very involved in the community. I think I'm pretty well known among people here and for the most part everyone seems to like me...I guess.
But I'm still the outsider looking in. I don't know the histories of people and the maiden names and who dated who, etc...
It can make me feel like an outsider with people I've known for the past fourteen years I've lived here.

Then there is the 'who have I known longer' issues.
What do I mean by that you ask?
Well...let's say that someone says I said something mean about someone else. It happens to be someone who's from here and they're talking to someone else who's from here. They might not really want to believe I would say something mean like that but they're hearing from someone they've known a long time.
Chances are pretty good it's not true, but you know...I'm new in town. That doesn't buy you much credibility.
So they are probably going to believe the person they've known longer over me and I will get stuck with words being put in my mouth that were never there.

Capeesh?

And really, maybe it's part of the reason I find myself to be the target for gossip so often.
I'm just speculating and it's nothing based on fact...I'm just pondering the vastness of it all.
There are so many possibilities why people might talk about me that I thought I'd add one to the list...

It's sarcasm in a big way, but why not write what I want? I get accused of writing in here to bash people so why not be honest?....
(I think you'll find I bash myself more than anyone else..so...DAMN IT! I'm pissed off! What the hell am I going to read about myself in here tomorrow???)



Just call me the troublemaker from away....

I really wish I'd win the lottery tonight. In fact, I think I'll buy a ticket today. And let me tell you, if I won, I'd be packing my shit and heading for Maine before the end of the week...
THEN I'd have new windows Mr.Man!!!

My mood for today is this....



I'm just in a bad place today and quite honestly I just don't feel good. My head hurts and I'm dizzy. I'm bitchy and fed up with a lot of things...

That's probably not good, but I'm working on it...at least I'm TRYING to change for the better. And I'm admitting I need to work at being a better person. No need to go to Assholes Anonymous here folks...I already know I need work.

(And I'm not being sarcastic when I say that either.)