I'VE GOT THE POWER!!!

Mondays are so shitty. I spent half an hour trying to call the water company to ask about checking my meter. My water bill doubled last month and unless another family of five is sneaking into my house to do all their laundry and bathe, it shouldn't be that high.
So I called this morning to ask about it. I called roughly five times and the phone rang and rang but no one picked up. The automated do-hicky wasn't even working. So I kept calling with the intention of getting through NO MATTER WHAT. I dialed one last time and let the phone ring and ring and ring and RING AND RING!!! No one answered. I let that sucker ring for ten minutes. No one answered. But being the me I am, I didn't give up. I did jumping jacks to fend off the urge to throw the phone at the wall and smash it into a bazillion pieces. It helped, really it did. Plus it got the boobs out of their funk. All that motion pissed them off and they kept trying to slap me in the head. The way I see it, being pissed off is much better than being depressed and it stopped them from just hanging around the way they do.
Anyway, to make a long story even longer, no one answered the stupid phone and I finally gave up.
I'll call later...maybe...or I might let the man do it.

*SIGH*

The man.
The damn man pissed me off something terrible this weekend. He not only sat for five or six hours at a stretch on the computer, he expected complete silence while doing it. No questions were allowed. No conversation. NO NOTHING!!!
The kids and I were virtual prisoners. You know it's bad if my 16 year old daughter felt sorry for me. Normally there is no pity involved where I am concerned.
So I finally broke down and told him how I felt about all the quiet time in the house.
I think I handled it well...



Yeah...we fought and then I spent most of the weekend sequestered in my room. Whatever..it happens.
Normally I'm not happy to see him go back to work on Mondays but today...I was doing the happy dance as he pulled out of the dooryard (that's a driveway for those of you not from the New England area.)

I had to work at the Boosters again this past weekend and while I didn't get labeled unlucky or anything like that, there was a little problem. Some woman said I was trying to steal her husband.
Ummm...
I was selling him stupid bingo cards lady..GET OVER IT!!!
It never ceases to amaze me the power some that women give me when it comes to the security of their marriage. I've been accused of trying to steal a lot of women's husbands and I have no idea how this happens.
After all...I am NOT THIS...



I'm more like this....



So what's up with this, "She's trying to steal my husband" shit? Quite frankly, I have one stupid husband already and I sure as hell don't need another one.
It just cracks me up because I supposedly have all this power to seduce men. I could be pissed off about it because they think I'm that kind of a person, but I've gotten past that. I don't care anymore. I have to see the humor in it or it'd go straight to my head and then I'd be too busy being too sexy for my own good to write in here anymore.

Heh...heh...

Crazy damn women...

I'm planning to try to make things for Christmas. I saw this ornament I really liked and while I'm sure everyone I know needs another home made ornament like they need a hole in the head, I'm still gonna make it. Or at least try it. I'm kind of famous for my home made gifts catastrophes. Usually the story about HOW I made the item is much better than the item itself. My friend Lisa is always telling me that I need to get a webcam and make people pay to watch me live my life. For some odd reason she thinks it would be entertaining.
*shrugs*
Anyway, there was one year that I made home made Christmas stockings for everyone. I sewed and sewed and sewed until finally I broke my sewing needle. I didn't have a spare. So at two in the morning on Christmas Eve, I sat in my new flannel nightgown (sex kitten, husband stealer my ass)sewing the last Christmas stocking. I finally finished and stood up to go to bed when I realized I had sewn half the stocking to my nightgown.
For a split second I considered cutting the damn thing and turning the stocking inside out so I could go to sleep, but then my senses took over and I knew without a doubt my Nana, who'd given me the stupid nightgown, would find out what I did and give me a decade of guilt over it. So I seam ripped the stupid thing and sewed it up again.
Yeah...I've had a few mishaps while making stuff.
I have hot glued my body parts to things and to other parts of my body. I've super glued myself and my pets to stuff as well.
I've sprayed glitter in my hair which has made me sparkly for weeks. I've stained my nipples blue (you don't want to know.) I've accidentally cut my hair, set myself on fire,(but only the one time) AND I have caused at least three kitchen fires that I can remember.
There have been a few Christmas mishaps but there are always more happy memories than anything else...



So yeah...I'm making an ornament. I hope it turns out ok, but if it doesn't there's sure to be a story to go with it and truthfully that's probably what my friends and family like more than anything I could buy.

I really need to get off here and get busy but in the meantime, maybe someone has an idea for a nice EASY home made gift? I plan to make Glögg and home made breads and cheese but how about something else? Give me something people!!!

And with that said, THIS Is my mood for today....



I'm trying to hold it together people. I'm supporting the depressed twins while reveling in my new found sex kitten persona...

Life is just one surprise after another, isn't it?