Women deserve big belly equality...

I'm kind of in a bitchy out of sorts mood today. I even tried singing one of the special songs I made up to Mr.Man this morning, hoping it would convince him to help get me out of this funk...

Sing to the chorus of Carolina in Morning...

Nothing could be finer than your dick in my vaginer in the Morning!
Nothing could feel sweeter than a poke from your stiff peter in the morning!
Give me some lovin!
Give me a ride!
I don't want huggin!
Shove it inside!

Rolling in the bed with my legs around your head in the morning!
Riding, going up and down...boobies bouncing all around in the morning!
Lay there baby...let me have my way!
I promise you it's a great way to start your day!
Cause nothin can be finer than your dick in my vaginer in the moooorrrrning!!!


It's a special song isn't it? I can't help it. Tender love songs like this one just pop into my head. It's a gift.

In spite of my romantic gesture, Mr.Man didn't buy into it.
And THAT made me bitchier...



So I put some clothes on and came down stairs to make coffee. Then I noticed the cake I'd baked last night and cut myself a piece of it. It's a good thing too because I didn't have any last night and if I wouldn't have had a piece this morning, it would have been gone.

I shouldn't have had cake. I is getting a bigger belly. It's none too attractive according to Mr.Man....

Which leads me to a topic that pisses me off.

Why is it that men can have bellies...round stomachs...big guts and it's perfectly acceptable?
A lot of men I know have these bellies that precede them by nearly a foot. Yet, they are still considered to be attractive....hell...I think some of them are attractive...



Mr.Man has a belly and I LOVE it. It's all fuzzy and I can rub it and bite it.....er...TMI?

Ahem...

Getting back to the belly thing...men have them...women are not allowed to have them. At least by men's standards. If a woman who is otherwise very attractive has a little bit of a belly it seems to be a turn off for me.
Now why is that?
I mean goddamn it! It's a double standard.
Plus it makes no sense to me.

Picture this....

You're a dude.
You come home after a long day at work.
You go to your bedroom and lie down on your bed.
Would you be more comfortable on...

A. A wooden bench?



B. A twin bed?



C. A full size bed?



I think I've made my point....but in case I haven't, guys....try stripping naked and thrashing about wildly while laying on your stomach...on top of a bench...then a twin bed...then a full sized bed.
While the twin bed and full bed are both going to be more comfortable than the bench...the full bed will allow for a larger "wild thrashing" area.

I'm just saying....

Besides you dumb shits...beauty comes from within. Didn't your momma teach you better than that?

Mr.Man...grrr....

Don't worry...he'll be punished.



When I was looking for a picture of a beer belly, I came across this little gem.

CLICK HERE TO SEE MY SECRET DESIRE!

I want one for Mother's Day!

With that said...I'm getting the hell off here.

This is what I'm planning on doing the rest of the day...



Foo Fighters at ear bleeding decimals and sporadic jumping and gyrating...while cleaning and doing dull housewifery crap.

See ya tomorrow...and for God's sake. Go ahead and eat cake for breakfast!