Edit 5/10/08:
Ok...so what am I going to do? Lie in bed and feel sorry for myself? How is that supposed to make things better?
Big deal. I am overwhelmed. Me and 99% of the rest of the world. If I could kick myself in the ass I would. I'm trying the old pep talk and so far the pity-party me is just zoning out on the practical-survivor me.
The pracitical-survivor me is getting more and more pissed while the pity-party me is withdrawing more and more.
Maybe I'm just over-tired...
Maybe I just need to go home to Maine. I think I need my Nana.She's one of the only people who's ever taken care of me when I've needed to lean on someone.
I think the loneliness is the real culprit....or maybe it's superhero syndrome...
You know....saving the world all the time and feeling completely drained. Feeling exhausted and wishing someone would zoom down and swoop you up and hold you and let you be WEAK for once...for even a few moments.
But you're not allowed to be weak...
Instead, you save EVERYONE else and then you struggle to save yourself when you're ready to collapse...emotionally...spiritually and physically.
I never said I wanted to be a superhero...
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If you need an ear, you know where to find me.
ReplyDeleteOne trip to Maine ought to be in your near future.
ReplyDeleteI've been feeling a lot like this lately too - we all do from time to time. Maybe you should just play hooky from the world for a day. I plan to do that sometime very very soon.
I know exactly how you feel - exactly. I need a day or three to play hooky too.
ReplyDeleteThis is called for action. Time for some vitamins and that trip to Maine. Go! Pack your bag and take that trip, no time to waste. Hurry! We will be here when you get back. Oh? Bring back a smashed penny.
ReplyDeleteI think a trip to Maine definately sounds in order. Hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day!
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day
ReplyDeleteIt's the Ol' Yeller picture in your last post isn't it?
ReplyDeleteHappy Mothers day!
Sorry you're feeling so down / tired / etc! Watching what my future wife does around the house (and we only have 1.5 kids) helps me understand some of what you deal with...
ReplyDeleteI hope you at least had a good Mother's Day!
Ohmigawd, I said this exact same thing to my own Mom, yesterday! You need some mama-love, either from your Nana or from other strong women who have been there and done that. I don't know what it is about hanging out with badass women (not the whiney "I broke a nail my life is over type") but it's so much more theraputic than just about anything! It's so helpful that a bunch of us have started getting together on a regular basis because it's cheaper than rehab.
ReplyDeleteWhere do you live? You should come to one. Email me if you're interested. mamallama at gmail dot com.
Ack! I missed seeing Friday's post on Friday and I missed seeing your Saturday post because it was the weekend.
ReplyDeleteTruth: I missed seeing Friday's post because I was read some sappy Mother's Day essay on MSN about two mothers generations apart who both had sick babies who died and bonded in their grief. I spent the rest of the evening off and on crying over the sadness of the essay and the ever-present knowledge that I will never be a mother in the traditional sense.
Self-pity does more damage than the knowledge that brings the self-pity ever could. But, none of us gets by without ever feeling a bout of it.
Hope you're feeling better today.