Midget singing and cradle robbers.....

So as you know, I worked the beer booth last Thursday for the Kenny Chesney concert.
Did you know that dude is a midget?
No really!
He is one short muthafo...you know?
Look! Here is a picture of him watching the Rodeo from a couple weeks ago. He's standing on his body guard so he can get a better view.



(He's the short dude in the tan vest and black hat. Told ya he was short.)

Some security guard said he'd introduce us to him as he came off stage. The other women I was working with were all over that, but me? I needed to get the hell home. I don't listen to the guy and while I did like the first song he played I have no idea what it was and I'll probably never hear it again.

Besides...working the beer booth served to entertain me plenty. I didn't feel the need to meet a celebrity.
(On this whole meeting a celebrity thing...why is it so important to meet celebrities? They are people just like you and me, except they make shit loads of money and have no privacy. I feel sorry for them. They have money and fame but it holds them prisoner. What kind of life would that be?)

OK...getting back to the beer booth entertainment....

When I saw people filtering in, I expected more country western looking people...you know..the kind you used to see on Grand Ole Opry...



Or Bonanza...



take your pick....

Instead there were more young people who looked like they were in their twenties...and most of them either had tattoos or cleavage.

Tattoos....



Classy huh? How about this one?



OK...so maybe they weren't that obnoxious but they were close...

Then there was the cleavage issue.
I have NEVER seen so much cleavage in my entire life!
Some women had it and it was natural but there were a few who were trying awfully hard to push together what little bit they had. They didn't look sexy at all! Little tits pushed together just resembles a baby's ass sticking out of a low cut shirt.



Not very convincing or sexy (if that's what they were going for)...

Of course there were some women with VERY convincing cleavage...

This one old girl was DRUNK...yet she never visited the beer booth. I think she hid a twelve pack in her cleavage...



It was either that or her man had one of those "Beer Belly" things I wanted for Mother's Day...(I didn't get one by the way.)
There were plenty of dudes that could have been wearing one and you wouldn't have known it.

One of the people I was working with thought the beer guy was cute. Yeah...we get a cute beer guy to help us keep the taps flowing...
Anyway...I offered to talk to the cute beer guy and ask him if he was interested in the "Hunter" which is what I'll call this woman on account of the fact that she's single, in her early thirties and has three sons.
She's going to need some help finding a man to keep up with her and those boys. They're all active people...

I approach the cute beer guy and just cut to the chase.

Me: So do you have a girlfriend?

Cute Beer Guy: Actually yes. I've been seeing her for two years. But if I wasn't in a long term relationship, I'd go out with you.

Er....
I didn't say anything about going out with me!!!
This kid is maybe 27...28. Like I'm going to be hitting on him.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!



What am I? Mrs. Robinson???

So I explained to him that my friend the "Hunter" thought he was cute and was hoping he was single.

Cute Beer Guy: I think you're more my type.

Me:(blushing furiously while trying not to laugh) How OLD is your girlfriend?

I'm thinking that maybe he has a mother complex or something....

Cute Beer Guy: She's 26...a few years younger than me.

Me:(laughing nervously) Well...I'm a lot older than that.

Cute Beer Guy: Doesn't matter. I'd go out with you.

Ummm....

So..the rest of the night this cute little boy is flirting with me...putting his arm around me...complimenting me...making me laugh.

It was weird...I think he was drunk. There can be no other explanation....

I believe he had beer goggles on...



Anyway...he gave me a huge poster of the midget surrounded by Miller Light beer and I gave it to the "Hunter". She didn't get a date but she was happy with the poster....

I high tailed it out of there just as the midget started singing "She thinks my tractor's sexy"

As I walked from the building I thanked my guardian angel...



That's right! Who else would be my guardian angel???

Tomorrow I can tell you about a few of the "customers" and our encounters with them....but for now, I'm done....

This blogging is interfering with my drinking time. Heh....