No really...she's a certified nut.
I've written about her before. I used to think she was scared of me. You can read about it here...
On a side note...oatmeal really IS good for your complexion.
Of course now I know better.She's not afraid of me. She acts the way she does because she is insane. That's all there is to it.
Last night the Goddess here almost had to kick her ass.
Recently, she and her man bought this huge truck. Why in the hell they bought a huge truck with gas prices the way they are is beyond me, but according to some of the other neighbors, she insisted they buy it and from what I gather is he severely pussy whipped...(sorry ETW..I meant "Meow Meow Meow whipped.)
That's one big ass truck...
When she was pregnant and they still had their car, she'd pull up in front of her house and if there wasn't a parking spot RIGHT IN FRONT Of her house, she'd start screaming and squeal the tires and speed off down the street.
Now for anyone who's ever lived in Dunbar, you KNOW that unless you have a big lot like we do, there is only public parking and you are taking your chances every time you leave your space open. Thankfully this is not something Mr.Man and I have to be concerned with. We have a drive way next to the house and a parking pad in the back.
Anyway, I chalked up her unstable tantrums to being pregnant.
Then she had the baby and it still happened, but I figured it was postpartum or something.
Well now, the kid is older and I just think she's a lunatic.
Last night, they came home from someplace and she pulled up in front of her house. My daughter's car was parked on the street but she had plenty of room to parallel park her truck. Of course she can't parallel park worth shit, so she started screaming at her husband and then squealed the tires, burning rubber up the street. She was doing at least forty or fifty miles an hour.
This is what our street looks like now, since she's been living here.
She pulled around the block and then waited at the end of the street, revving her engine and watching us.
WTF?
We sat on the porch and watched her throw a complete head fit.
Finally she turned the engine off and they all got out and walked toward their house.
Ok...
My daughter, Freya, asked me," Why didn't she ask us if we could move our car so she could park?"
"I don't know", I answered, while watching burning rubber psycho stomp down the sidewalk muttering under her breath...eyes twitching...fists balled up...
(What a sight to see....)
Freya got up and moved her car, two spaces up the street in fact where psycho could have parked if she was a sane person like the rest of us.
When she went over to move it, Psycho's little girl said, "That's my mommy's parking spot. You're not supposed to park there."
Hmmm....
I decided to "educate" the neighbors on a little parking etiquette...
I walked over and spoke to her husband who was sitting outside. I explained to him that in the city, everyone pays a municipal fee and that entitles everyone to park anywhere they want on the public street.
I wasn't a bitch about it, but you know it pissed me off that she expected our company to park farther down the street, even though there were two empty spots right in front of my house.
I mean come on here...that's being a little unreasonable.
He apologized for her behavior and I felt bad for him because I think he's as much a victim of it as everyone else that comes in contact with her.
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He really is such a sweet guy. I feel really bad for him.
OH well...what can you do?
In other news, I bought myself a hammock. It folds up for easy storage in the garage and I LOVE<3 LOVE<3 LOVE IT!!!
I laid in it yesterday while drinking Magic Hat beer and being lazy.
Then after some yummy cook out goodness, I laid in it again while sipping margaritas.
It's great for any kind of alcoholic beverage...
Speaking of the hammock, I'm getting off here for now so I can clean up the house, shower and get ready to lie in it again...at least until it starts raining. Damn rain...I'm really getting fed up with it. We need a few sunny days in a row you know.
Hope everyone had a great holiday weekend....I'll see ya tomorrow.
When my parents were still living in Chas., they had the same problem on their street. There was enough room to park 2-3 cars in front of the house, but God forbid if anyone parked in front of the neighbor's or across the street. There was hell to pay. The house we lived in when I was in school had a driveway and garage, so no problems then.
ReplyDeleteSo, your neighbor is setting a fine example for her kid(s), huh? Nice. Oh, and thank you for cleaning up your language for moi. I usually just say, "That guy is whipped." With the meow, meow, meow being implied. LOL.
ReplyDeleteThat is one of the best photoshop jobs on the truck I've ever seen. Simply awe inspiring. And the margarita made me lick my screen.
ReplyDeleteYou know, with the wackjobs you have to deal with I will personally fund the purchase of a remote control aircraft with digital camera. As long as you pledge to learn to fly it.
http://www.smarthome.com/95621.html
Best investment in entertainment EVER.
I am SO glad that I have a driveway!
ReplyDeleteI would not survive living on your street.
Unless you'd be willing to parallel park my magic mom van for me...
What a weirdo!!!
ReplyDeleteWe have a driveway, but we also have a neighbor who thinks she is entitled to all the parking around her house. The only place to park on the street is beside her house, so it's always been a given that whoever gets there first on our street has dibs. Since she moved there a year ago, though, she insists those spots are hers because they border her lot. She has actually interrupted parties to tell people to move their cars in case someone comes to visit (nobody ever does.) We even invited her to the parties, hoping she would feel more charitable, and no dice -- at the party, she went around interrogating the guests, wanting to find out who parked touching her lot because those are HER spots.
What a juvenile bitch!
ReplyDeleteIt reminds me of an old lady who used to live beside an apartment building I lived in. This was when I was married to ex. We got this shit car. Total shit car. But, we had parking with the apartment. Old lady got to use the apartment lot too and decided that one particular spot was "hers."
Over the next few weeks, I noticed several different cars parked in "her" spot. Next time I would see those cars on the lot they would have a sign in the back that said "Lost Tag" and their tag number. I didn't make the connection.
Then, I parked there one night. I came out in the morning to find my tag missing. I wasn't driving that day, so I just left it. I hate to drive, really, so I left it there for a few days and a police citation shows up on the windshield saying I'm going to be towed for parking illegally and having no tag.
I left a rear-window-sized note on the car (from the inside so it couldn't be removed) which said, "This car is legally parked on a lot belonging to my landlord (his name) and I am entitled to park here as long as I pay rent. Do not tow."
It was never towed. It was also never moved from "her" spot for six months. I wouldn't have moved it then, but we moved.
I know how you like a bitchy little old lady getting her due story, so I couldn't resist sharing. :)
She might own the parking spot, but I own the world, so I say you guys park where you want to.
ReplyDeleteI used to go to a friends house and If you parked in a certain spot the neighbor woman would freak out. She had a driveway, but when you parked across from it she had a hard time backing out and she acted like it was against the law to park there. She was also the one to come out of the house when her daughter was napping in the middle of the day to give everybody hell for making too much noise while her child napped. I think she owned the world.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if the Rootbeer cake would be ideal for diabetics. I mean,, it's still a cake mix. It's still a little high in sugar although less so than if you'd put icing on it. If you used a Nifty Fifty cake mix (the no sugar kind) It would be fine.
ReplyDeleteMy husband finally had a piece, he's very finicky and he loved it!
What a nice example she's setting for her precious little child, huh?
ReplyDeleteMmmmm, I love me some Magic Hat.
ReplyDelete:-)
Mmmmm, I love me some Magic Hat.
ReplyDelete:-)
I knew I should have bought the house next door.
ReplyDeleteThis is a miniscule example of why there will never be peace in the world, there's always one like her in charge somewhere.
okay, I like Magic Hat, but really, one post is enough, doncha think?
ReplyDeleteWTF?
kwr221...you don't like Magic Hat do you? LOL....
ReplyDelete