I don't believe I even know who Kenny Chesney is.
He could literally walk up to me and order a freakin beer and I wouldn't recognize him.
Maybe I should google it so I can at least make sure I'm spelling his name right?
So....THAT'S Kenny Chesney huh?
Upon further research I discovered that he's the clown responsible for that damn song, "She thinks my tractor's sexy."
OH MY GOD!
Tell me....what's sexy about a tractor?
What's sexy about it???
Hilda: "When I met Olaf, the first thing I thought is, OH MY! His Tractor is sexy! Now we have been married for forty years and the tractor is missing a wheel, but I still think it is sexy."
Olaf: "Hilda broke the wheel off the sexy tractor one night after too much vodka."
Yeah...tonight I get to work the beer booth again. That's always such an interesting experience. I have a little experience in bartending so I get to pour the beer from the tap. That's fine with me because it means that I don't have to deal with the public. I just pour.
I've drank a lot of beer in my time. At keg parties I was the tap queen. I tended to be a little on the wild side when I was younger, although I'm sure you'd have a hard time believing that.
I'm proud to say that I did manage to drink beer while keeping my legs closed. I know that large quantities of beer tend to make them fly open rather easily. I was immune from that. I figured out how things worked at an early age.
Getting drunk was a lot less complicated than getting laid.
You drink beer...you piss it away...it's done.
You fuck some guy...he falls in love with you...you have a stalker.
I'm no dummy...I know how that works...
Speaking of stalkers....does anyone remember that show The Night Stalker with Darren McGavin that was made in the early seventies?
I can remember watching re-runs of that show on Friday nights after the evening news. It was a comical/supernatural/scary/detective show. The main character was Carl Kolchak. He was a detective who investigated unexplained cases that had a supernatural flavor to them. Kind of like the X-Files but with a fashionable straw hat instead...
It was entertaining. I kind of wonder sometimes why they don't have re-runs of it on anywhere. The same thing with the Carol Burnett show. MAN...I would LOVE to see re-runs of Carol Burnett on TV....
I'm not sure what to make for dinner tonight.
I've used up all of my recipes and quite honestly I'm bored with everything I cook.
As for the family?
I don't think they even care what they get. I could be serving them frikaseed rat's ass and they'd eat it.
Normally the only questions I get is..."Is it fattening?" or "Does this have meat in it?". Other than that, they don't really worry much about what they're stuffing in their faces.
I've been buying salad stuff and having a salad in the fridge that's easily accessible. I got bitched out because there wasn't any healthy low cal things available in the house that's easy to reach.
So I fixed the salad stuff.
Well guess who eats MOST of the salad?
That's right...you're truly. I eat it until it's coming out my ears. Does anyone else touch it? No...they don't. I end up throwing out what I can't eat. I have eaten so much salad that when my nipples get hard they look like cherry tomatoes. When I walk up the stairs my joints don't crack, they crunch. I've have enough damn salad and I'm not buying it for awhile. They can just shut up about it and deal with canned vegetables.
I bought bagels that are called "Everything" bagels. They have poppy seeds and onion and garlic and a whole bunch of other things in them. I normally have one for breakfast with coffee and cheese. I'm pretty addicted to them and since I don't eat bread with my lunch I indulge myself every day.
There is one small problem though...
They give me gas.
Stinky...stinky gas.
I need one of these...
I'd only have to wear it for an hour or so..then the nastiness kind of fades away. Or maybe it disappears because I poop...who knows?
With that said...I'm getting off here. I need to clean this house up and type up a few things for Little League, then poop and take a shower. I got something I want to read in the poop room library....
Has anyone else ever read this magazine?
If you haven't then I suggest you at least buy a copy and try it out. It's chock full of unusual facts and interesting things to get you thinking. I look forward to getting my copy in the mail and I wish they'd publish it as a monthly instead of as a bi-monthly...
My mood for today is meditative...
I am preparing myself mentally for this evening...
Need I say more?
You always speak of these exotic foods and drinks. What is this thing called a "salad" and this drink called "beer"? Is it just a local West Virginia thing or is it in other States too? Have fun out there.
ReplyDeleteWorking the beer booth sounds like it may provide a gold mine of blog material for the weekend LOL
ReplyDeleteNaughty Naughty Hilda, amputating the sexy tractor wheel on party night!
ReplyDeleteMost excellent post, Tammie - keep 'em coming!
Jess (from Mayberry's) is going to the concert tonight - maybe you'll sell her a beer.
ReplyDeleteI love the everything bagels, but they don't give me gas.
If you figure out dinner, let me know. Hey, I heard the Evil Twin's Wife has some good recipes up! Hee hee.
I watched Kolchak when his shows were new and ejoyed the constant fighting with his editor. He always lost his evidence, which would make him famous and prove a monster's existence, at the end of the show. That, or the authorties, covered it up. He was the Poster Boy for, without bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.
ReplyDeleteRon....PIZZA IS NOT THE ONLY FOOD OUT THERE!!!
ReplyDeleteTrish...I may or may not have blog fodder. The last time I worked it, a couple of guys tried to walk off with one of the other people working the booth. She was big, busty and brash. I doubt they want a quiet girl like me....*GRIN*
Tiff...Hilda and Olaf have been known for their sexy tractor antics. I could write about them occasionally I suppose but this IS a family oriented blog...
ETW...I decided on pizza for tonight. Ron talked me into it..LOL
Paul...YAY! Someone else who watched the Night Stalker. I really liked that show. I didn't know if anyone else would have even seen it or not. And yeah...losing the evidence that would prove everything was always happening to him. I liked the show but it had been awhile since I'd seen it. Thanks for refreshing my memory even more.
Grasshopper and I both loved "The Night Stalker" and I can still remember actually wanting it to get dark (which meant I had to go inside from playing) on Monday nights because Carol Burnett would be on!
ReplyDeleteIf they would agree to syndicate that show, it would run as much as "I Love Lucy" used to.
Good luck with the Kenny Chesney. If he does get a beer, try to remember that he's the one Renee Zellwegger divorced on grounds of fraud. How weird is that?
For low-cal easy access foods, years ago my cousin turned me on to keeping a variety of those frozen mixed veggies (like cauliflower, broccoli, and carrots) in the freezer. Pop them in the microwave, spray with I Can't Believe It's Not Butter spray (which is actually quite tasty), and sprinkle parmesian cheese on top. Low cal, quick, and delicious.
Get the door - it's Dominos! Or rather, get in the car, Domino's has a drive-thru. That's what we had for dinner, too! LOL.
ReplyDeleteThe beer booth at the Civic Center? During a country music concert? Talk about blogging material! WEEKS worth!
ReplyDeleteIf you are not a country gal what are you?
ReplyDeleteThat song ... I'm dyin'.
ReplyDeleteMental floss is an EXCELLENT magazine.
ReplyDeleteI have a subscription - and 2 of the books.
Here's all you need to know about Kenny Chesney:
ReplyDelete1) He wears a cowboy hat
2) He was once married to, and therefore most likely banged, that ass-faced foot-looking creature named "Renee Zellweger"
This, in a nutshell, makes him a stupid, stupid, f*cksh*t.