Casual county and coco-cocks....

I made it out alive from the beer booth.
And guess which song didn't even begin to play until I was allowed to leave the building and step into the freedom of a non-cowboy hat universe?

Yep...that damn sexy tractor song. Thank God I wasn't there to witness drunken couples dressed in matching t-shirts and cowboy hats wiping tears from their eyes at that tender moment when "their" song was being played.

Who dresses these people? Is there a magazine called Country Western Casual? Have I missed it?



It should be called County Western Confusion....

Eh...I shouldn't be such a critical bitch. After all...I saw a few people who were as confused about the whole dress code as I was. Some of them were ACTUALLY DRESSED in what they thought to be the "acceptable" attire and they seemed perplexed by it all as well...



"What the hell have I got on?"

I don't want you to get the impression that I dislike cowboys or cowboy hats or cowboy boots...etc...
I have been known on occasion to admire a cowboy hat or "lack of a cowboy hat" on occasion....heh heh...



Wait a minute. Isn't TOMORROW Saturday? Well...Well...Well....

As you all predicted there was plenty of blog fodder and the night was a LONG one. But you're gonna have to wait on the full story until I can get my thoughts together. I'm being distracted by cramps and bloating. Plus the uncontrollable urge to walk up to every man I see and rip his balls off isn't helping. Chocolate helps a little so a word of advice to the men. Carry chocolate with you and offer it if a woman approaches with this expression on her face.



It may make all the difference between having your boys to scratch and grab or being able to hit the high notes like Freddie Mercury.

Gee dudes.On second thought, I don't know. It might be worth losing a nut or two for that kind of talent.



What a God......I think I'll listen to some Queen today while I'm cleaning/bitching.

Anyhow...since my friend decided to come visit me last night I had to stop at FasChek this morning and pick up some tampons.
I walked into the store and straight to the tampons, picking up the biggest, most absorbent ones I could find and walked to the check out.
I'm standing in line, minding my own business when this douchebag gets in line behind me and starts hitting on me.

Douchebag: "How does a sweet little thing like you manage to look so pretty this early in the morning?"

Me: (Not speaking to the douchbag but thinking to myself)Ummm....listen sweets...it's seven thirty in the goddamn morning. I haven't even brushed my hair yet. Go throw yourself in front of a train.

Douchebag: "Awww honey. You're not even all awake yet are you?" Then HE chuckles to himself.WTF?

Me: (Thinking to myself) I'm awake enough to rip your heart out of your chest and show it to you while it's still beating.

Douchebag: " Maybe you need a cup of coffee to wake you up. I have some in my office down the street."

BY this time the cashier is even getting the "I'm going to kill you if you don't stop talking to me" vibes. This moron is apparently retarded so he doesn't have a clue. Acting in an exceptionally calm manner, I give him one of these looks...



And shoved these in his face....



He literally took several steps back and recoiled in horror.
Yeah...THAT'S what I thought asshat!!! FEAR THE CURSE!!!

You know what women need during that special time every month? We need chocolate made just for us.
I'm talking chocolate that will not only allow us to get the chocolate our bodies need to function, but chocolate that will allow us to alleviate some of the aggression we feel toward men during that time. And maybe even chocolate that will help medicate us in some way so we can relax.

I present to you....COCOA PECKERS! FUDGE SCHLONGS!( I'm working on the name still ok?)



Each chocolate penis would be made from the finest swiss chocolate, melting in your mouth with each and every bite.
And believe me...you'd want to bite into this!

Think of the revenge you could take out on all of the asshole's you've been in relationships with!

"CHOMP!CHOMP!



This one is for that asshole who "accidentally" rammed it into my dry ass and said "Whoops! Wrong hole!".

To top off the entire experience, the center of each delicious Coco-Cock (what about that name?) could be filled with a creamy concoction of Bailey's Irish Cream.



A little bit of Irish Whiskey does a body good. Besides, it comes in three different flavors now..Original, Mint and Caramel...all go great with chocolate!

While I haven't found a place that sells these necessary and tasty treats, I did come across this gem.



I'm thinking of buying the kit and playing with it...heh heh...

Ok..experimenting with it. I already have the Bailey's and I can get the chocolate and Mr.Man can be the model for the clone.

Who knows? Next month's curse may be highly enjoyable!

With that said, I'm done for today. You already know what my mood is and my back is killing me. I'm going to lie down on the heating pad.

When I get time, I'll write about the beer booth. It may be later, it may be Saturday or it may not be until Monday but I'll get it out here. It was a night to remember...