Walk the walk...and shock the shock...

Yesterday was a tough day for me. I can't say that today is any better, but at least I FEEL better.
I spent most of the day wallowing. Wallowing in self pity. Wallowing in cookies and milk. And wallowing in my pants. But of course that's personal and I don't plan to share that part of my day with anyone.
Er...where was I?
Oh yeah...wallowing.
Around three o clock I finally decided to stop being an idiot and do something about my misery. I got dressed and grabbed my IPod and walked. I walked and walked and walked. I went as fast as my legs could take me and swung my arms like hammers. I blared music on my IPod. Everything from Norah Jones to ACDC. I'm sure if anyone I knew would have seen me, they probably would have run in the opposite direction. I wasn't happy about anything and I had a mission to complete. It was all business.
I was going to walk until I felt that misery drain right out of my body. Either that or I would drop in an exhausted heap and wait for someone to call an ambulance.

Walking...it's a form of therapy. I tend to get carried away too. Sometimes I spend over an hour just stomping through town, trying to rid myself of the demons who are hell bent on destroying my happiness. When I get in these moods I always try to remember to write my name and address and my hubby's cell phone number on my ass in marker.
"On your ass?" you ask.
YEP.
And apparently I'm not the only one who thinks like that...



It's a good location for that kind of information and after all, who is going to see my ass besides me and my old man anyway? And my neighbors...and my friends...and people who piss me off...well...ok. BUT the important thing is that the paramedics will see it of course because we all KNOW they're going to take your shirt and pants off immediately just because they can and then they will know who to contact in case of an emergency.

This morning I walked again. It felt great too. Very good therapy. I walked with a friend so I got caught up on the local gossip. Apparently there is a lot of stuff happening in town I don't know about. I always learn something new when we walk together. My friend is a wealth of information, mainly because she grew up here and knows everyone. I learned a lot of things I feel I should know. And as luck would have it, we needed to make a pit stop at McDonald's this morning too. Half way through our walk, I HAD to pee. No amount of Kegals would have prevented me from pissing down both legs after drinking a pot of coffee and walking two miles. It was an urgent matter needing immediate attention.
So we trotted off toward McDonald's at break neck speed and I got there just in time.
Relief!



As luck would have it, The Dead Pecker Society, as my husband calls it, was conducting their own little gossip fest in the lobby. Man...the THINGS you can learn about the town you live in. Wow! Of course I have no idea how much of it is actually true, so I won't repeat any of it, but it's interesting enough all the same.
I'm not much of a gossip. I prefer to grab my bone and take it out in the back yard to bury it. Others like to run in circles, letting everyone KNOW ABOUT THEIR BONE before burying it in their back yard.
The Jesus Police are really good about doing that. Getting a juicy bone and walking cockily through their yard, holding it in their mouth like it's a dog turd and it's distasteful. ( but not letting go of it, that's for damn sure). THEN...only after EVERYONE has seen it, they bury it.



Getting a mental picture of that one?

I make it easy on them. I tell on myself and give them plenty of ammunition. Why not? I know I'm not going to hell and if they're talking about me, then they're leaving someone else alone.
And don't get me wrong. I'm not bashing Christians. I'm bashing the people who think they're perfect because they go to church and feel that they have the right to judge everyone. They are the "do as I say, not as I do" people.

Ahem...




So...THAT probably just pissed someone off and with the damage done, I think my work here for the day is finished...

But only for today...KISSES!!!