Safe at home, she contemplates fashion...

It's Elderly Hell Day folks!!! And this little swede is not planning to go out among the throngs of Geritol-iacs. They will soon be on their way to the doctor, pharmacy and grocery store. I plan to be safe in my house while they are out hurting other people besides me.
Last night I remembered about today being Tuesday and I even made an emergency run to Krogers to make sure I had the fixings for dinner tonight.
I'm learning, but occasionally I forget and end up being eyed by some old white lady who hates me and wants to run over me with her shopping cart or huge car.



Self-preservation...it's a good thing.

So now that I'm stuck in the house all day, I'm doing fun FUN stuff, like cleaning and picking up EVERYONE ELSE"S SHIT!!!!
WTF???
I'm telling you...my family hasn't got a clue when it comes to taking care of themselves. If it weren't for me running around behind them, wiping their asses, they'd fall into helpless heaps of flesh, whining incessantly and demanding things.
I'm NOT exaggerating either...

I've tried to explain how it makes me feel. You know...share my feelings with my husband...to no avail.



He just doesn't understand...er...maybe I should have explained things when I was a tad bit calmer?

Don't get me wrong. I love my family. But I'm sure that somehow I'm responsible for the monster I've created because by shit, that's what people will tell you if you complain to them.
Have you ever noticed that?
When you complain about something, it always seems to end up being all your fault, like you are in control of the entire universe and everything in it. I disagree with that. You can tell people things and you can allow them to suffer the consequences if they don't do what they're supposed to, but they won't always learn from it, you know.
Come on now!!! If I was in control of the entire universe and everything in it I'd be making few changes....

For one thing,we would all be nudists because I hate to wash clothes and iron...



That wouldn't be such a bad thing now would it?

This morning I woke up to the girls fighting over a shirt. How in the hell they managed to get out of bed before me, I'll never know, but anyway, they were fighting over a shirt.
The older daughter was trying to convince me that my youngest daughter was wearing her shirt.
I wasn't buying it.
The reason?
Well....let's just say that the shirt fit my youngest daughter perfectly. She is built like this....



My older daughter, two years older is built like this...



So needless to say, I wasn't convinced it was her shirt. All I could think about was trying to put two bowling balls into a sock and it not being humanly possible.

I'm sure I'm not alone when I tell you this fighting over clothes thing is a daily occurrence. My daughters think they have nothing to wear. I hear about it every day. It's HORRIBLE! I attempt to explain what it could be like for them but they won't listen. I even showed them a few things I was forced to wear as a teen, but they weren't very sympathetic.
How many of us remember wearing this cute little get up that itched like a bitch?



Can you say POLYESTER IS FROM THE DEVIL? The mere thought of polyester almost sends me into fits of hysterics! It makes me want to attach a disco ball to the top of my car and pull people over so I can RIP the polyester off their bodies!!!

Thank god that era has passed and we are all safely enmeshed in the softness of cotton.
I love those commercials too...just thought I'd throw that in there...

Well I guess I need to get busy doing something productive. I do feel better today and NO SCOTT! I DID NOT HAVE A HANG OVER YESTERDAY!!!
The last time I had a hang over was several years ago. We were in Maine visiting my family and sitting by the lake. I began drinking margaritas and eating grilled chicken around noon and by seven in the evening, I'd puked up every bit of chicken in my gut and had a massive hang over. I felt great the next day though. I even made jokes about the bears finding my puked up chicken and saying that they thought tequila chicken was only available at Applebees....See? I'm a good sport even when I'm hung over...
In fact I think I may have a picture of me taken that very day...Yep...here I is with my cousin Bonnie, who is also suffering the ill effects of drinking..



Ain't we beautiful? HAHAHAHA!!!

With that said, THIS IS MY MOOD TODAY!!!!



The crazy fantasies I have, huh? I won't lie...I'll probably get little accomplished and spend most of my day daydreaming of a clean house that will stay clean...

I'm such a dreamer!!!