Perverts and random things...

In the little old town I grew up in, there didn't seem to be anyone terribly perverted but there were a few old men who were a little demented maybe. They seemed harmless enough until they had their own coming out party and then from that day forth, they became known as the town perverts.
Let me splain...
One old dude used to drive his car down to the store in town and watch us girls play Frisbee, touch football, baseball or soccer with the boys. He used to yell for us to come over to his car and go in to buy him a soda or something. He'd hand us a dollar while leering at our 13 year old breasts and short shorts (we did grow up in the late 70s-early 80s and short shorts were in).
My friend Sandra and I didn't really think much about it. We figured he was a harmless old man who couldn't see well, could walk well and was just a little crazy. We were honestly trying to be nice to him and help him out.
Then THAT DAY happened and things were never the same again....

Sandra and I were sitting with some of the guys drinking a coke when he drove up one day. He motioned for us to come over to the car, so she and I and our friend Russel all walked over.
He asked us what we were doing and wanted to know why we weren't playing any games.
We told him that we'd been playing touch football earlier on the post office lawn but we were taking a break.
So he suggested we go with him for a ride.
Heh...
I mean, we thought he was harmless but we weren't stupid and would never have gone anywhere with him.
We told him that we were getting ready to play another round of football but thanked him for asking.
He seemed a little agitated we wouldn't go with him and then suddenly, he grabbed Sandra's arm and pulled her closer to the car. Then he grabbed a feather duster looking thing (which I now know is a sex toy of sorts) and started brushing it on her crotch.
Then he asked if she liked it.



We all FLIPPED OUT!!!
She grabbed that thing and we ran across the parking lot and down the hill to the railroad tracks where they was no road.(so he couldn't follow us)
The rest of the boys saw us and ran to follow us. We didn't stop running until we got to the old potato houses half a mile down the tracks and then we told the others what had happened.
Mark and Russell suggested we tell their parents (they owned the store we hung out at) but in the end, we just avoided him like the plague. The boys would even throw rocks at his car when he'd drive by.

There was another old guy too who was actually a lot of fun. He was a retired something or other from Canada and looked like Benny Hill....



He used to sit outside his house and offer beer to all the guys. They'd go hang out with him and play pool in his house. He always had something kooky to show us and collected handmade flutes. He painted and smoked a pipe and seemed to be a little different but other than that ok.
Er...bet you know where I'm going with this one, don't you?

It ended up that my friend Russell...the one and the same Russell who used to wear his mother's 44EEE bra cup on his head like a helmet while driving his go-cart through the store parking lot with the empty cup trailing behind him...the same Russell who had experienced the feather duster trauma with Sandra and I...the same Russell who I taught how to waltz at a dance and he stepped on my big toe so many times my toenail fell off...the same Russell who lit a firecracker off in his hand on Halloween later in that same year...It was RUSSELL that our cool older friend decided to try to initiate into the ways of Greek love and oral fixations...
I mean...we all had thought he was a little anal about the way he displayed his flutes but had no idea there was any more to it than that.

We never got the full story from Russell who swore he didn't do anything. Of course after that we all avoided him too. He became another target for the boys rocks.

Two perverts who had nothing better to do than stalk and try to seduce the youth of our town...

I guess all towns have their own dirty little secrets don't they?

As far as I know, none of my kids have had a dirty pervert experience. I do know my friends daughter saw a guy pull his pants down in the alley over on the hillside of 21st and 22nd streets. She was in fifth grade and it really upset her.

Maybe I should invest in a cow prod or Tazer for the kids to carry when they're out walking?

I'm thinking about cleaning out my underwear drawer. I don't feel like there is a need for me to have thongs and see through bras anymore. My sex life has come to a complete standstill and damn it, I need the drawer space. Besides...that shit isn't doing anything for me or I'd be throwing it away because it had been ripped from my body in the throes of passion.
I think it's time for granny panties and cross your heart bras.
I believe a change in underwear will cause me to have different urges. Perhaps I will have the urge to knit and crochet and bake pies....and wear houseshoes...and go to bead with face cream on and a flannel nightgown...

Umm...

Sorry. I just can't picture myself EVER wanting to wear flannel to bed. I like being nakee...

I HATE WEARING UNDERWEAR AT ALL! I DON'T WANT TO WEAR IT. I WANT TO BURN MY BRAS AND USE MY PANTIES FOR SLING SHOTS!!!I WANT TO LET IT ALL FLOP AND PLOP AND DROP IF IT WANTS TO!!!
Yep...I don't care. Who am I supposed to impress? No one is impressed when I'm making an effort, so what does it matter?
I guess I'm destined to be a "Bad Girl"...let it all hang out and whatever else it wants to do.
BAD GIRL..
and you know what that means...



I bet the Jesus Police are watching the house as I write this...

I did NOT choose to go out on Elderly Hell Day. I did have to drive to Clendenin for a ball game though, but that was later in the day after all the elderly had ventured out to shop and run over people.
Did you know that there is ONE main street through Clendenin and it's not even a two lane? It's a one sided main street. All the buildings are on one side and then there are train tracks on the other side. I didn't see any policemen although the local people at the game kept warning us to not even go one mile an hour over the speed limit or we'd be pulled over.



I did go slow on the way there and they way out. Why take chances.The local boys had the street blocked off. The ONLY street that runs through the town. I would have gone another way but there was no other way. So I sat and waited for 20 minutes while they all watched one guy shovel dirt into the hole that went all the way across the street.Traffic was backed up way across the bridge. They finally covered the hole with something so we could pass.
I guess they didn't think that guy was working fast enough...

I got home around 9:30 and then had to make a trip to Wal-Mart. But guess what I discovered? Going to Wal-Mart after 9 pm on a weeknight is SWEET!! No one is there! You can literally sail into the store and get what you want and sail out again. It's wonderful...WONDERFUL!!!

Hmm..I think I've blabbed enough for now. Can anyone tell that I've had an entire pot and a half of coffee?

Lots to do today, so I need to get fueled up....

There...my head is empty for now...