Friday, December 28, 2007

Movies that make you go Boo Hoo

I spent the day running kids back and forth and fighting with kids and damn it, I finally gave in to my stress and found a movie to lose myself in....
I chose The Holiday....



It was a good movie. I could relate to Iris...mainly in the first part of the movie, not so much in the end. My favorite Iris quotes?

I've found almost everything ever written about love to be true. Shakespeare said "Journeys end in lovers meeting." What an extraordinary thought. Personally, I have not experienced anything remotely close to that, but I am more than willing to believe Shakespeare had. I suppose I think about love more than anyone really should. I am constantly amazed by its sheer power to alter and define our lives. It was Shakespeare who also said "love is blind". Now that is something I know to be true. For some quite inexplicably, love fades; for others love is simply lost. But then of course love can also be found, even if just for the night. And then, there's another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. Its called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest of us? What about our stories, those of us who fall in love alone? We are the victims of the one sided affair. We are the cursed of the loved ones. We are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. The handicapped without the advantage of a great parking space! Yes, you are looking at one such individual. And I have willingly loved that man for over three miserable years! The absolute worst years of my life! The worst Christmas', the worst Birthday's, New Years Eve's brought in by tears and valium. These years that I have been in love have been the darkest days of my life. All because I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back. Oh god, just the sight of him! Heart pounding! Throat thickening! Absolutely can't swallow! All the usual symptoms.

and this quote as well...

I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.

Yes...that movie...it made me very sad. It made me sad to see myself in it...pathetic and small...

"unrequited love. Of that I am an expert."

"I've been cursed by being in love with a man who does not and will not love me back."

Alas...I know that empty place inside. I have sobbed quietly, my heart breaking......
Fingers trembling,holding back tears until I've escaped the watchful eyes of others...hiding pain behind a stoic face or a forced smile.

I know those feelings all too well.

This isn't cryptic and no it's not about Mr.Man but let's say that sometimes the past is as fresh in our hearts as though it was happening at this very moment. Sometimes, it can seem as though no time has passed at all.

Tiff wrote about break-ups awhile back. I never did post anything on it because it was too painful and it was unresolved. It's still unresolved. I don't think it will ever be resolved. It could have happened two years ago or twenty years ago..the time doesn't matter. It haunts me and still I wonder...

Why didn't he love me back?

I've had too much wine and thinking about sad movies that mirror parts of my life is bad....

Mmmm...that's my bad breakup story Tiff...except I never got closure. Instead I decided to beat myself and wonder why I couldn't capture his heart.

Hey...I never said I couldn't have my pathetic moments now did I?

5 comments:

  1. I never had a moment like this... maybe... sucks though. ((HUGS))

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  2. Ah, yes.

    I think most of us have one of those.

    I have never seen "The Holiday"; my tear-jerker release is "Where Angels Fear to Tread" by EM Forester.

    One of my favorite quotes is
    "I don't die; I don't fall in love. When other people die or fall in love, they do it when I'm just not there..."

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  3. I liked that movie, and it did bring back memories of unrequited love.

    One answer to why didn't he love me could be - it was just not meant to be. If you could accept that, you might move on rom those feelings.

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  4. I can relate. Currently. It's not fun. I try giving myself different reasons why it would not work even if I did have the opportunity. Sometimes it helps, but not usually.

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  5. I think MOST of us have those stories. I sure have mine. Many of them. The "what ifs" are huge.

    Then I found something real, and it changed everything. Not sure how, exactly, but it did.

    I wouldn't go back to being that insecure young woman for aanything. No way.

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