I've decided to stop stressing over things. I'm going to just go with the flow. I'm sure the pictures I sent my friend were neither disgusting or offensive. I think I allowed my insecurities to get the best of me.
I do that sometimes.
It's just hard for me to always believe that I'm worthy of anything good.
I long for people to love me and want to be part of my life.
And in my quest to show others how much I want them to be part of my life, I end up being tormented by insecurity sometimes.
I suppose you could say that I try too hard.
I know I'm a good person.
I'm damn fun to be around too.
And I'm loyal...I'm trustworthy and fair.
I don't judge and I'm open minded.
I'm forgiving to a fault.
Most importantly I don't use love as a weapon.
What do I mean by that?
Well...
There are some people who use the love someone else feels for them to their advantage. They manipulate the people who love them for their own personal gratification.
I don't do that though.
How could I use something so beautiful as love to manipulate someone?
Why would I desecrate something so precious by using it in such a selfish way?
Love is such a gift. It should be treasured, not abused.
So...the thought for today is this...
I'm going to stop being my own worst enemy.
I'm going to be myself and hope that love comes to me.
I can't force anyone to love me.
I'd like loyal friendship love, or protective love. I'd like someone to treasure the love I offer them....
I could use a little of that.
That would certainly make a nice Christmas gift...just a little love.
(And no stalker love damn it!)
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Here I was, opening my arms wide, then, I read your last sentence. Crap! Foiled again!!!
ReplyDeleteSeriously. Good ideals and good wishes, simple requests for gifts costing nothing but one's time and loyalty. Why it is hard to come by or give in a non-virtual setting, I do not know.
I want love for Christmas too:(
ReplyDeleteYou are a good person
Yay for not stressing anymore. I feel like, if people are acting all petty and childish, I don't need that in my life anyway and I'll walk away.
ReplyDeleteUmmm what if Stalker Love is all I have.... Tammy, we are very different in some ways and yet I find many similarities in the way you feel in your blog.
ReplyDelete{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}
ReplyDeleteIf you are your own worst enemy, you are the most well-adjusted and hilarious enemy I've ever seen.
Amen! Good for you. We are all insecure sometimes - all except mr. kenju, who is the most conceited person I know....LOL
ReplyDeleteWow. I could have written that. *sigh*
ReplyDeleteI think that's good advice. Thanks for that gift! You follow it too, OK?
I always look at it like this: The only person I can control is myself, and I try my damnedest not to give that over easily to others. I used to. I used to worry about what everyone thought. I used to want to be able to set every transgression I'd ever made right. Now, not so much.
ReplyDeleteIf they a friend stops acting like a friend and you can't fix it, just wait. After enough time passes, they'll forget the minute details of whatever turd of disgust at me they were polishing and we'll be alright with each other again. If not, I'm still going to try to make the best of my day.
Good for you!
I'd be cool with some of that stalker love.
ReplyDeleteWell Blondie, I hear ya. I've been there too. I've always been painfully loyal to my friends. I've never stabbed anyone in the back when I worked for "the man" even though I wanted to once or twice so very badly. I have a set of ethics that prevent it.
ReplyDeleteI also love with very few conditions. . . at least I am extremely forgiving.
People know that and have taken gross advantage of it in the past. . . still, I was ready to forgive. . . it's sorta sick, ya know?
Today I have true love and some loyal friendships. Maybe it takes time and experience.
"and in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make."
The End - PM - AR
SH out