Manopause...it's real

Yeah...I've been thinking...my husband may be suffering from MANopause.
What is manopause you ask?
Well....it's the male version of menopause we women suffer through.
There are sure fire signs that women are going through menopause and here they are...

1. Hot flashes, flushes, night sweats and/or cold flashes, clammy feeling
2. Irregular heart beat
3. Irritability
4. Mood swings, sudden tears
5. Trouble sleeping through the night (with or without night sweats)
6. Irregular periods; shorter, lighter periods; heavier periods, flooding; phantom periods, shorter cycles, longer cycles
7. Loss of libido
8. Dry vagina
9. Crashing fatigue
10. Anxiety, feeling ill at ease
11. Feelings of dread, apprehension, doom
12. Difficulty concentrating, disorientation, mental confusion
13. Disturbing memory lapses
14. Incontinence, especially upon sneezing, laughing; urge incontinence
15. Itchy, crawly skin
16. Aching, sore joints, muscles and tendons
17. Increased tension in muscles
18. Breast tenderness
19. Headache change: increase or decrease
20. Gastrointestinal distress, indigestion, flatulence, gas pain, nausea
21. Sudden bouts of bloat
22. Depression
23. Exacerbation of existing conditions
24. Increase in allergies
25. Weight gain
26. Hair loss or thinning, head, pubic, or whole body; increase in facial hair
27. Dizziness, light-headedness, episodes of loss of balance
28. Changes in body odor
29. Electric shock sensation under the skin and in the head
30. Tingling in the extremities
31. Gum problems, increased bleeding
32. Burning tongue, burning roof of mouth, bad taste in mouth, change in breath odor
33. Osteoporosis (after several years)
34. Changes in fingernails: softer, crack or break easier
35. Tinnitus: ringing in ears, bells, 'whooshing,' buzzing etc.


ALL of the things in bold print are the things Mr.Man has been experiencing lately. now tell me he's not going through MANopause...

I mean, damn it, there has to be an explanation.
I want my Mr.Man back.



Yeah.So we'll have to try to figure out what the problem is so we can fix it. I'm in this for the long haul you know....

I was married once before, to my oldest daughter's father. He was my first boyfriend. He came into my life when it had climaxed at a horrible crescendo.
I was indifferent to everything.
I wasn't afraid of dying. (Dying is easy...it's living that's hard.)
I walked around hiding it all behind smiles and jokes.
I channeled my apathy into empathy but that was before I learned how to forgive.

He was three years older than me and took me places...fed me something besides macaroni & cheese and peanut butter.(the stuff I hid in my room so I have something to eat.)
All of our friends were the same so it was fun...and fun is what I needed in my life.
We dated for a year and eventually I gave into my fear and had sex with him.
It was traumatic but that wasn't his fault. The demons from the rest of my life were perched around us, watching and filling my head with other thoughts.
We fought about it and he dumped me.
Of course by then it was too late.
I was pregnant.

Some might say that the pregnancy was a terrible thing but you know, I don't see it that way.
It saved me.
I finally had someone to love who wouldn't reject me or abuse me or leave me.
I might have stepped into the forest one night and never came back had it not been for that baby growing inside of me.

He hated me for being pregnant. He had great plans to go to Alaska and live with his brother.He had plans and found himself in prison instead.I became a ball and chain to him and he just kept trying to escape.
When he couldn't escape it he just tried to pound and hammer it away. He broke the ball...left dents and scars on it, but the chain remained intact.

I broke the chain. I had to muster the courage to break it because he was too much of a coward to do it. I think he feared what his parents would say.

I didn't leave because I thought I deserved anything better than what I had known my whole life. I left because I didn't want my daughter to grow up thinking that is how women should allow men to treat them.

Eventually, I met Mr.Man.
He wasn't the one I expected to be so kind to me. He was very handsome and he knew it. He was cocky and arrogant and I didn't particularly like him.
Of course in time, I saw the real him, hidden behind the good looks and airs he projected.

I still cried the day we got married because I was terrified.

Of course I was afraid I wouldn't be enough to capture his love for a lifetime.

That of course has not been true. We've endured many things and stayed together. It's been a struggle at times but somehow we've worked it out.

There has only been one other man in my life. I loved him and I still love him. He will always remain in my heart.
Maybe if things had been different we could have made things work but the joy he showed me, as brief as it was, was much too perfect to be real.
Things that beautiful are not allowed...

Yes...today has been somewhat heavy again today, but I write what I need to.

Now I will go dig out my Christmas tree and make memories with my children.
GOOD memories.
Loving and warm and solid memories.

And the next time I write, things will be light and airy again. I can already feel this sharing mode dissipating...

This window won't open very often...but when it does, bear with me...