The Wayne, insane and let me splain...

Mr.Man's phone rang last night after eleven. Now anyone who knows Mr.Man knows that he gets up at four in the morning to go to work. He's usually in bed by eight, although occasionally he'll still be up at nine.
Well...the person calling him that late was none other than "The Wayne". I know I've posted about "The Wayne" before. In fact, if I'm not mistaken, my other post about "The Wayne" was one of my first posts in here. Let's just say that he has some issues. He and Mr.Man were friends in high school. Very good friends in fact. Then "The Wayne" met a girl and he blew Mr.Man off for her.I'm thinking he was a little bit of this...





He didn't spend any time with anyone but his girlfriend so he and Mr.Man kind of grew apart. According to Mr.Man, he attempted to keep in touch but "The Wayne" made no effort. They didn't speak for years.
Several years ago "The Wayne" moved back here from North Carolina to go back to school. He was nearly forty years old, with several failed relationships beneath his belt, never married and unhappy with his job. So he boldly quit his job and moved in with his dad so he could go to school.
I have to admit, I admired that about him. Instead of staying in a place that made him unhappy, he took a risk and turned his life in an entirely new direction, at forty.



I thought it was ballsy...
It all started out fine with "The Wayne". Mr.Man and he would go out and do their thing, which was fine with me. I'm not a possessive person and I certainly don't have to have my head shoved up Mr.Man's ass all the time. I was glad Mr.Man had a friend to hang out with because let's face it...Mr.Man is not an outgoing person. He has specific interests and that's it. He's not what you would call an adventurer. He lives in a mostly black and white world...with a few gray areas. I live in the gray with a few black and white...we'll leave it at that.
One of the only problems I had with "The Wayne" was Mr.Man's inconsiderateness toward me when they would go out. It would be three or four in the morning and Mr.Man would come sauntering in, without so much as a phone call to me about how late he'd be. Do you think that kind of behavior would have been allowed if the shoe had been on the other foot?



I think not.
I did attempt to call him once when they were out. It was nearly two in the morning and I had woken up. I was worried. So I called, only to have my call ignored and then be subjected to a lecture about trusting him and how I'd embarrassed him when he got home at three.
That was when I realized that Mr.Man was different when he was around "The Wayne". He seemed to lose all respect for me, had no consideration what-so-ever and was very combative. He'd pick fights with me over politics! What the hell? Before "The Wayne" was in the picture, we NEVER discussed politics and then fought over it. There was always a mutual respect, even when we disagreed.
I began walking on tippy toes...especially when he'd been talking to "The Wayne" or hanging out with him.

Ironically enough, I didn't dare say anything about his personality change. I'm sure that "The Wayne" blames me for the rift in their friendship but actually it was one of Mr.Man's family members who said something to him about it. And the girls told him that "The Wayne" gave them the creeps. Neither one of them can explain this creepy feeling but they both get it and they both don't like "The Wayne".

As for me...I see both good and bad qualities in him, but I can say the same for myself and everyone else I know. No one is 100% likable all the time. But in spite of that, I have still become the scapegoat for the failing friendship between Mr.Man and "The Wayne".

The last time he was here he had a project for school that Mr.Man helped him on. They designed a diary, based on historic events. Mr.Man asked me if that was a problem and I said no. It really wasn't. So he was here all day and really I didn't have a problem with it. The problem I developed was when he monopolized the computer all day and one of Veggie Stick's friends, who had asked earlier in the week if she could use the computer for a project, wasn't allowed to come over and use the computer.



That irked me.
I had already promised her she could use it and somehow the entire household was shut down to accommodate "The Wayne".
So I said something to Mr.Man. He told "The Wayne" that one of Veggie Stick's friends needed to come over and use the computer and SOMEHOW he did a spin doctor on me and asked Mr.Man why I didn't like him.

Yeah...I know...I didn't understand the connection either.

It just kind of went down hill from there. He was constantly grilling Mr.Man about why I didn't like him and then demanded that Mr.Man tell him everything I'd ever said about him. It was all kind of freaky to me and a little bizarre. I had never said I didn't like him and furthermore, I had allowed the compromise of previously established mutual house rules between Mr.Man and I to be broken, time and time again, to accommodate "The Wayne".

I just avoided him.

Mr.Man continued to see him but when he did "The Wayne" was combative and argumentative. That's when Mr.Man began to see that "The Wayne" wasn't the same person he'd known in high school. I told Mr.Man that I thought it was more probable that he isn't the same person that he was in high school...after all...he's married, has a job, children, responsibilities, while "The Wayne" seems to still be embracing the same rigid standards he set for himself in high school. Mr.Man doesn't have that Jack Kerouac idealism that "The Wayne" has. He thinks himself a visionary...



I asked Mr.Man if he were to have just met "The Wayne" would he choose for him to be one of his friends.
Mr.Man thought long and hard about it. After a couple of days he said NO.
He began to withdraw from "The Wayne". I didn't have anything to do with it, but still I am certain I'm being blamed.

So where is this tale going you ask?

Lately, when "The Wayne" calls and leaves messages, they're becoming more and more angry. It's unsettling. I told Mr.Man after the late night phone call, which was meant to wake him and was highly inconsiderate, he was going to have to call "The Wayne" and hash it all out. I don't have any desire to be on the receiving end of "The Wayne's" wrath and I'm afraid that's exactly what will happen if Mr.Man doesn't confront him and just tell him why he hasn't called him.

Not all of it has to do with the differences between the two of them. There is also the responsibility factor. Mr.Man is married with three children still in school. They're involved in activities. He works...long hours sometimes and even travels because of his job. "The Wayne" has no responsibilities other than the ones he generates for himself, and I'm not even certain he has a job. They're on two separate ends of the spectrum.

So tell me.....Have you ever been in a friendship dilemma like this before? And if you have, how did you deal with it? Did it turn into a stalker situation or volatile?

Today's word is going to be 'rigid'. I honestly believe that's the biggest obstacle in "The Wayne's" life. That's why he's so unhappy and miserable. His world is black and white and there is no gray. You can't be so unyielding and expect the softer things in life to find you. It's not going to happen.

I feel sorry for him.

And with that said...here is my mood for today...



I AM HAVING LUNCH WITH BUZZARDBILLY AND ETW TODAY!MAN...I'M FEELING A LITTLE WILD! Anyway...I'm going to take a hot shower and try to calm down. I don't want to scare them off...lol. I'm actually going to try to behave. I'm thinking a sedative might help.

I'll be back tomorrow...and don't forget to share the insane friend experiences and how you handled them. Inquiring minds need to know...