Flash em, then kick em in the nuts....

Last night I had a heart to heart talk with the girls. All this disturbing talk of "The Wayne" has them a little uptight. Miss KIA asked me what they should do if "The Wayne" ever came to the house when Mr.Man and I weren't home. I told them to ignore him and call the police if he wouldn't go away...
Yep...I'd do it damn it. If I don't want you in my house muthafuckah, then get the hell out, k?
Veggie Stick was all over the calling the police part. We have several good friends who are policemen. One's a city officer and one's a deputy sheriff. The city officer is my age and he went to school with Mr.Man. But the deputy sheriff...well...he's a little younger than me.



He's still pretty smart for his age though...LOL. In fact, it might be the reason Veggie Stick has so much respect for him. He mentioned to her one day that she shouldn't wear pants with holes in them and she came home and threw out all of her really bad jeans. "I" couldn't get her to do that, dammit!...hmmpppfftt...Then she tells her friend on the phone last night that her mother has a friend who's a deputy sheriff and he's one of the coolest people she knows. Apparently this kid is a punk and was bad mouthing the police. She didn't care for his attitude, not one bit, and I heard her tell him to "suck it" and she hung up on him.
Veggie Stick is kind of brash and tells it like it is...I don't know where she gets that from...
Anyhow, when I saw him this morning I pointed out that my inspection sticker had died back in November of last year...

Heh heh heh...

He just laughed at it because I mean, who would think someone like me would break the law? I mean, come on here now...I'm sweet...innocent...I don't do things like that.



Honestly, I didn't realize it had expired. I drove on it for MONTHS without realizing it. That's sad isn't it? Oh yeah...well what's the longest you've ever gone without getting your car inspected or registered? I bet I'm not the only one here people...we are all getting forgetful in our old age.

In the mornings on our way to school there is always some interesting discussions. This morning the boys,(teen-aged fighting machines) were explaining how tough they are and how they could kick anyone's ass and blah blah blah. I stopped the conversation dead in it's tracks when I gave the girls a little advice.
"When some guy tries to accost you, flash them and then kick them in the balls when they're busy gawking at your boobies."
These are wise words of wisdom and furthermore, they are effective.

When Mr.Man was in the Air Force, there was an occasion when I was walking from my truck into his billeting one night when I needed to defend myself from the drunken advances of a couple of guys. It was late because I'd just finished my second job and for the most part the place was deserted. I got out of my truck and began walking to the entrance. Two guys who'd just come from the NCO Club were drunk off their asses and moved from the bushes to block my way inside. I tried to reason with them but they were hell bent on having a party. I told them both to get the hell out of my way but they wouldn't move. So I headed back to my truck. They followed. I was forced to change my game plan and began telling them that I had changed my mind and thought a little party sounded nice. I just wanted to get something to drink out of my truck because I had a fifth of Captain Morgan in there. That calmed both of them down and they stopped and stood a good five feet away from me. I then smiled at them and pulled my dress open. Then I took my bra off and grabbed my boobs. They both smiled like idiots and that's when I kicked the biggest one right in the nuts and punched the smaller guy in the nose as hard as I could. Then I jumped in my truck and sped away. I called Mr.Man when I got back to my apartment and told him I'd changed my mind about coming over, but I never told him about what happened. I figured he'd have KILLED both guys, mainly because he know them and they knew I was his girlfriend. Let's just say that they both stayed clear of me after that. One of them actually told people he'd been in a fight with a couple of guys who'd jumped him because I gave him a black eye...lol.
Stupid assholes...that taught them a lesson, I hope. I know they never fucked with me again and that's all that mattered to me.

Today's word is going to be "laundry". For some odd reason I can not get caught up on laundry. I have washed and washed clothes all day and yesterday too and every time the pile looks smaller I leave the room for five minutes and it's grown. While I don't have any concrete evidence, I think the dirty clothes are having sex and reproducing. Damn horny cotton shirts... Perhaps I shall invent birth control for laundry...don't laugh. Do you have any other explanations?



SHAMELESS...just look at that orgy! Polyester with cotton and machine wash with delicates! Is nothing sacred anymore???

Yesterday's lunch was great. I was awestruck from the moment I walked in. ETW was everything and more than I expected. It was like getting a Christmas present that you really, REALLY wanted and after opening it, it's better than you could have ever imagined. She's incredible.
Then there is BuzzardBilly. I felt at ease with her immediately. She is so incredibly modest and approachable, you can't help but feel welcome immediately after meeting her.
They are both incredibly smart and quite frankly that intimidated me a little. Here I am, not college educated, had to drop out of school and go to work to support Freya, finishing high school with a home correspondence program and even then there is some question about whether it was legitimate or not. I'm not exactly a rocket scientist you know?
But let me tell you...they BOTH put me at ease immediately. They're so warm and down to earth...funny and silly...I lost some of that awkward feeling and relaxed.
I'm really glad we finally met in person and I'm looking forward to getting together again. BuzzardBilly lent me her Dexter series on DVDS and ETW brought me knitting needles and practice yarn so I could get started on reacquainting myself with knitting again.

With that said...this is my mood for today...or should I say this is what I'm in the mood for?



It's Friday night and I want to drink and get laid dammit. I'd better get what I want to or I'll flash Mr.Man then you know what'll happen next...

I'd hate to have to send him to work Monday talking in a high pitched voice while sporting a black eye...

Monday I'll tell ya about my haunting experiences...whoooo......see ya then.