Yep...everyone is looking GOOD I tell ya. April is the month for pretty...
Anyway, I'm in Krogers, making trouble like I normally do. I went to buy some chicken and when I leaned in to check the prices I hit my head on the bag dispenser. So I told my friend the butcher, just to give him a hard time. We joked about it and he told me to go ahead and rip the dispenser down. Then he said he'd block the camera so I wouldn't get caught. I told him I wasn't afraid of the camera and then I smooshed my boobs together to make cleavage right under the surveillance cameras and touched my nose with my tongue...just to be silly.
Well SOME people can't take a joke.
The short dumpy manager comes over to me and asks me to please stop doing things beneath the camera.
I stared blankly at her and asked what she meant. I don't know her like I do everyone else there but I figured someone put her up to it and she was joking with me.
Yeah..well she wasn't. She said she'd been watching the screens and said I was distracting her, which was preventing her from catching shop lifters. She said that gave her the right to ask me to leave the store.
There were maybe eight people in the store.
Ok...
It's not like I had jumped up on the beer display and started stripping. I showed cleavage and I stuck my tongue out. Two seconds total. Oh yeah..and then I laughed.
When I told some of the others who work there what had happened they suggested that maybe she was attracted to me because she prefers "Meow Meow Meow" to "Woof Woof".
I can't help that I'm smoking hot now can I? If that's the case then me just being in there is distracting and damn...she'd better get over it.
I don't have a problem with anyone preferring "Meow Meow Meow".
As for me? I personally prefer the "Woof Woof."
Give me a big dog and I'll be happy. One with a leash like that would be pretty awesome too...A leash would come in handy.
I have called or texted a total of thirteen people in the past two days and they have all ignored me. No...I haven't needed anything terribly important but I did ask questions. Yet they all decided to not respond.
Perhaps I'm living in a vortex where no one can hear me?
I feel myself feeling depressed so I'm going to stop for today. There's no reason to discuss it and it's pointless anyway so I'll just tune it out instead. My IPOD and some cleaning and it will be pushed to the back of my mind.
I think I just need to go home to Maine.
Have a nice Friday...
Obviously you "Meow Meow Meow" was very distracting to her, LOL. Perhaps if she hadn't zoomed in on your cleavage in the booth she was in it wouldn't have been as big a distraction. Feel free to send me a text, I'll respond. I may not say anything of importance, but I will reply.
ReplyDeleteYou got kicked out of Kroger's??? LOL. You jezebel!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it comin' on to blackfly season in Maine?
ReplyDeleteThough - blackflies are probably not as irritating as people who don't call you back, are they?
Is it just me or do I not get called back a lot? I allow a lot of room for error too. I mean it can be several days before I get back to someone sometimes, but I do call them back..or email them..or message them...SOMETHING!
ReplyDeleteI equate the entire not being called back thing with a lack of importance in that person's life.
It makes me feel like shit.
Blonde Goddess
ReplyDeleteI agree with you completely. By best friend B does that to me sometimes and it pisses me off. I mean even if you call or text or email and say something like "got your message, really busy right now. Might take a while to get back to you." it at least shows some respect for you by answering. I mean if you spoke to someone face to face and they didn't answer you would get annoyed at them wouldn't you?
BG, Email me.
ReplyDeleteI will give you my cell number. You are welcome to text me any time!
I text Tiff with random crap all the time.
The texts generally contain phrases like "Must. Not. Kill. Employees!" [She responds with offers to bring ice cream and medication.]
Feel perfectly free to visit me, BG, and tote along any distractions you'd like to bring to bear (bare?). I can handle it--unlike some wimpy security folk.
ReplyDeleteum, "please stop doing things beneath the camera"
ReplyDeleteI think you should start a new blog called "please stop doing things beneath the camera.blogspot.com", travel the countryside and harass short dumpy managers nationwide.
I'm fairly certain that would be financed by Leno/Letterman or one of that ilk.
I am not joking.
It should become the new national pastime. Just how much can you get by with on the security camera? If you get kicked out, you lose.
ReplyDeleteKicked out of Krogers? You rock! As for the vortex of silence - this is to be expected with the combination of spring, cats/dogs, and bag dispenser accidents. I think I saw it on Youtube. really
ReplyDeleteThat picture of you looks like your meowmeowmeow is getting lots of attention.
ReplyDeleteThat a great idea to fuck with security cameras. Let's make it a national movement in protest of so many fucking security cameras all over the place. Of course, then it would become a felony to fuck around in front of security cameras. . . which would lead to major issues of constitutionality. . . yes, good idea.
goto:
fuckwiththecamera.com
I am amazed! Kicked out of Krugers for making cleavage and faces at camera?
ReplyDeleteOk ... I agree with brendalove we need to make it a national group and past time to see how far we could go without being "kicked out." *grin*
Yep, I do really hate it when friends do not return calls and agree I tend to feel that I am unworthy of their time and/or attention. Email me anytime, I'll respond!
hugs!
If you want to see a true Machiavellian, look no further than someone with a very limited taste of power.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, if God came down to me and said I could teabag the beverages of any ten people without impunity, about 6 of them would be managers or asst. managers or franchise owners from back in the retail & restaurant days.
When you're hot, you're hot.
ReplyDeleteI didn't think you would be back because of play duties. I completely missed this and feel like a heel. I don't have any missed calls or texts either, so call me.
ReplyDelete