Just pull it ALL out!

In a short time I will be leaving for the oral surgeon. I'm terribly excited about the whole thing. I get to drive into Charleston and try to find a place to park, then sit in a waiting room that will most likely smell like old potpourri (which smells like the equivalent to dead grass that's been peed on), read magazines while I wait that I have no interest in at all,perhaps Golfer's Digest or Fisherman's weekly, finally getting to see the surgeon who will explain how they're going to put me to sleep, extract my teeth and ass-rape me while taking pictures for their secret web site while I'm unconscious.
Yeah...I know what they REALLY do while you're knocked out. They don't stick that air tube in your ass and mine ALWAYS hurts after those surgery things. True, it could be the HUGE bill that makes it hurt, but I get too many strange looks from people I don't know. I'm convinced I'm plastered all over some porno site somewhere, courtesy of several surgical experiences I've had.
Call me paranoid....
But this time, I'm not taking it lying down...well...you know what I mean.
I'm going to be right out there and just ask the surgeon if he'll remove all the stuff I don't need anymore.
I know he's just supposed to be extracting teeth, but I could stand to get rid of my uterus and some belly fat. I have no need for them any longer and I'm tired of dealing with them. If I'm going to be the star of some very profitable video for this surgeon, I feel that it's not unreasonable for me to expect a few perks.

A hysterectomy and a tummy tuck should keep me quiet.

I won't actually be having anything done today. Today will be the day for negotiating. And I am ready to bargain....if I have my way, this time next month I'll be living on liquids and pureed meals(while waiting for my partial to be made) slipping into my pants effortlessly and having frequent sex without worrying about pregnancy...

Now that will be sweet....

Who said having dental surgery is a bad thing?