Feeling spunky but looking shitty....

I'm tired. I need to cut this shit out...you know...working like a man but being built like a woman.
I am still sore from mowing the field Monday night. And it's not that I mind doing it. In fact, sitting on the riding lawn mower is like riding a giant vibrator...well...except not nearly as pleasurable and requiring more work BUT it's not completely terrible.
Ummm...let's move on, shall we?

I'm doing too much lifting and tugging and carrying and it's getting to me. The days of me working like a horse on the farm are long behind me and let's face it...I'm getting old. I don't even give a shit about that anymore either. I'm just irritated at getting tired all the time.
I'm tired of being tired.
And I'm tired of all work and no pleasure.

Am I mistaken in assuming that there's supposed to be some pleasure in living? Life is too damn short to waste all your time working yourself to death.

And while I'm on the subject of getting old....I still have lots of sexual energy but what's up with some other people my age who have NO desire to do anything?
You'd think I am an adolescent boy. It's crazy. I keep hoping it will just go away or something.
I mean, it's hard on me. I feel like a freak show. No one else my age that I know really cares one way or the other about getting some lovins.
You'd think their damn thing fell off or something. Or their hole grew shut. I feel like I'm an outcast because I'm over the age of 25 and I still have a sex drive. And I'm not a sex maniac, it's just that when you NEVER get any, you tend to think about it a little more than usual.
I like it. It's a natural thing and it's free.
Not fattening and not expensive.
So there...

Of course the inner thoughts don't jive with the outer appearance. I need to take an updated picture and put on here. A close up. I look like hell. Hell...I FEEL like hell.

Hell...Hell...Hell....

Speaking of hell...yesterday was Elderly Hell day and I went to Kroger's. THAT was special. Some of those nasty old ladies just need to stay home if they're going to be that hateful. I came 'this' close to telling one of them off. She stood in the middle of the aisle for close to ten minutes, blocking my way, even though I repeatedly asked her, politely, if she would move. I started to move her cart and she grabbed it and gave me a dirty look. I explained that I needed to get by her and she looked pissed off.
I HATE Tuesdays....

On a lighter note...When I stopped at the Post Office to mail some things for the Hubster, some old dude on Grosscup avenue, walked outside on his porch, took his dick out of his pants and started pissing off the side of his porch. He even waved at a car as it passed.
You've got to admire the elderly who just figure they've lived long enough that they ought to be able to do whatever the hell they want, you know?
I think I want to be like that.
I'm becoming more and more cynical and frustrated by the limitations set on me by others, like the Jesus Police and whatnot.
It would be SO LIBERATING to be able to just live my life and not worry about what other people are going to say or do.

And I'm not a bad person. I don't do nasty or mean things. I try to be helpful, a good mother, friend, etc...and I'm community minded. I volunteer for things to try to help out.
But of course, there is always someone who doesn't like what I'm doing or saying and they have a "problem" with it.

Whatfuckingever.....

Ha...and listen to this...One woman who "works for a living", as she put it, informed me that what I do is nothing compared to what she does.
"Oh really?", I asked.
"Yes," she replied. "You have no idea what real work is."
(No...I did not punch all her teeth out of her head like I wanted to. Instead I replied by saying this...)
"Actually, while I do not get paid for my work, I do work. I work very hard. I do all of the things that normally you and other parents who work during the day would have to do in the evenings or on the weekends if it weren't for a stay at home mother like me who does it while you're at work. Plus, since I don't work at a job,I have to be the one to care for my children during the day.I'm normally caring for your children and other children of people who are at work as well. Believe it or not, that is work."

I went on to explain that I, just like her, leave the house early in the day on most days and don't get home to clean my own house until late in the evening.

I don't know...it just REALLY rubbed me the wrong way. And the worst part is that she wasn't buying into what I was telling her. I could see it all over her face.
So I just stopped.
She was one of "them".

Let me explain...

I used to belong to a monthly bookclub discussion group with my friend Diana. Diana is a lawyer and most of the other women in the group were also young professionals. I was the oldest and the only stay at home mom.
Most times, I felt quite comfortable with the group and the conversations. And even though I stay at home, I was up to date on current events, the stock market, etc and could contribute to all of the conversations with ease. But occasionally, there was a comment or two directed at me, because I didn't work, didn't graduate from college, didn't have a career established, etc...
I point out my contributions to society but I could tell it wasn't making any impact on the person or people looking down at me so I'd just let it go.
Of course, two of the four women who believed I was a non-contributing member of society are now stay at home moms and believe me....they have seen the light.

Isn't it a shame though that women have to defend their decision to stay at home in today's society? And be viewed as having little or no worth because of it.

Meh...

This is completely random but I want a punching bag and gloves for Christmas. I checked them out at Sport Mart yesterday and I want the medium sized bag that goes for roughly 60 bucks.
Someone buy it for me...hahahaha....

I just need some therapy, you know...for the non-contributing member of society put downs, the elderly angst that I'm constantly accosted with and the sexual tension.

POW!! PUNCH!! POW!!! SLAM!!! POW!!!....