Welcome to the Heathen House.....

Did you know that I'm a TERRIBLE parent?



I was actually informed by yet another church person that I don't teach my children morals.
IN FACT, they don't teach their children to act the way mine do...

WTF?

Do they video tape my kids and then have class, complete with video footage and a pointer, showing all of the faults my children have?



Are my kids their personal examples of what they are not allowed to act like?

I've about had a fucking belly full of there HOLIER THAN THOU, SELF RIGHTEOUS BASTARDS POINTING THEIR FINGER AT ME AND TELLING ME I'M A BAD PARENT!!!

You know...I used to like going to church. In fact, it was a peaceful and joyful time for me. I could go into the church and worship, do some self-examination and reflect on my life and my actions.
I always felt so much better when I came out of church.



Then I moved to good old West Virginia and guess what? The entire church experience changed for me. I didn't feel so great when I came out of church anymore. In fact, I felt like shit. I felt like I wasn't doing enough for the Lord! I worried about what other people were thinking and almost had a stroke at the mere mention that one of my kids had said something off color in the Sunday school class!



I felt cement weighted guilt if I wasn't at church every time the doors opened! I even compromised my own personal faith and beliefs because I felt I needed to have my children raised in the church!

I taught the high school on Wednesday nights. I taught them about self-respect and self-esteem and treating other people with respect, even if they didn't deserve it because it would say more about their own character than the character of the other person....I tried to teach them things they could use in their every day lives to make them feel better about themselves and motivate them to make something good out of their lives. I talked about sex and drugs and drinking, not in a condescending way, but in a realistic way that they could understand.

And I got in trouble for it...CONSTANTLY.



Of course our youth group was big...really big. The kids kept coming because they were finding a spiritual peace every teen-ager searches for. They had a place where they could be accepted by others even though they weren't popular or didn't dress in name brand everything...they were all friends.

I taught them about making their faith personal and not worrying about what other people thought. They learned that actions speak more loudly than words and quoting scripture means nothing if you're not willing to back it up.

I lied to myself and told myself that I was doing some good so it was ok for me to compromise my beliefs.

Hopefully the kids got something good from it but I felt myself drifting away from that inner peace.

Because I wasn't reading from the King James version of the bible (the only REAL version according to the elders) and used the NIV instead, I wasn't a 'good' teacher. And because I talked about taboo subjects like sex, drinking,drugs and even rock and roll...I was a 'bad' teacher.
The elders in the church gave me some 'suggestions' on how to improve my classes.



SUGGESTIONS MY ASS! They gave me an ultimatum and I couldn't abide by it, so I left.

I also taught the College and Career classes as well. You see, I'm very knowledgeable about my bible.Not because I want to run around quoting it to impress people into thinking I'm a good Christian woman...but because I wanted to read it for myself. The Lutheran church I grew up in, taught us that faith is a personal experience and you shouldn't base it on what other people tell you. You shouldn't base your feelings or thoughts on how others interpret the bible.
So I read the bible myself.
I went to catechism classes and we talked about what we read. Sometimes we all agreed on what we read and other times we didn't. Our pastor discussed all options with us but NEVER told us what we were supposed to feel about it. He told us to pray and meditate about it.

My faith has always been a very personal thing for me and I've never felt the need to walk around wearing it like a badge of honor or a shiny symbol of my superiority. I'm sorry to say this, but I've met a lot of people in this area who do those two things. It disgusts me too.
So...after compromising my own beliefs, I finally left the church I was going to and became one of the 'heathens'.



Has my faith changed?
No.
Have I changed?
Yes.
I feel free! I feel like I can be true to my faith and to myself. I am not perfect and I don't pretend I am. I drink, I swear and I tell white lies...I do.
Oh wait a minute...I forgot. The majority of the people who go to church down here don't do any of those things...(unless they're hiding it, then it's acceptable.)

The Catholics are realistic. They do smoke and drink and if they swear, they know lightening isn't going to strike them dead. I think they have the "I'm not perfect" thing down pretty well. I'd have to say that the Catholics I know down here are the closest to the peaceful church I grew up in more-so than any other church I've been to.



I like the Methodist church as well. I've been to it on several occasions and I even ventured to a couple in different cities. I've liked every one.
The Lutheran church down here is just as Baptist as the Baptist church and probably only slightly more conventional than the non-denominational churches I've been to.

I don't do revival.
Revival isn't something that should be scheduled. You should be in your own personal revival every single day. What ever your personal belief, you should be intimate with it and incorporate it into everything you do...every day. Going to the church every night won't make it stronger if you're not already in touch with it.

I don't believe in hell.



I really don't. (Yeah, I've been told I'm going there and if there is one, then I'm sure I'll see most of the people who have told me I'm going there waiting on me when I arrive.)

I guess that being attacked in my own home, countless times by people telling me that I'm a bad parent because I don't go to church, has just pushed me to the breaking point.
I'm SICK of the Jesus police in the state and would appreciate it if they would check out the beam in their own eye,instead of pulling out the magnifying glass to look for the mote in mine. (Matthew 7:1-5 in case you're interested)...



The way I see it, is if everyone would just concentrate on themselves and take care of working on their own faults and trying their best to be a good and decent person, there'd be a lot less bullshit in this world and a lot more harmony and love.
I'm being the best parent I know how to be, but that doesn't mean my children will be perfect. Remember the free will thing?
In fact, I can think of several big church people I know who have pointed their finger at me in the past and wagged it in my direction with the "you're a bad parent" lecture who's children are in very bad places right now.
I feel sorry for them.
I think it's terrible that they have to go through that.
I hate it for their kids that they're having such a rough time.
I don't throw it in their faces and gloat over it!

What's the point of this whole rant?

There isn't any point. I'm just venting. It's annoying and irritating. I'm sick and tired of it!
And just so you know....when I was confronted yesterday I turned the other cheek and went about my business as usual. There are just some people in this world you don't attempt to defend yourself or your children to. You want to, but it won't do any good and most times it'll just make things worse.

Besides...it's not the Christian thing to do now, is it?

Be patient with me again today...I'll get back to the funny stuff tomorrow....I NEED a good laugh!