Donuts, seven gallons of milk and five loaves of bread.....

I'll begin by admitting my shame. I gave in and bathed yesterday. I just couldn't go through with it. I got through most of the day ok, but then parts of my body began to stick together. I went to the bathroom and my coochie had eaten part of my underwear. I just couldn't go through with it.
It didn't bother me when the plant wilted as I sat breathing on it....
And it didn't bother me that I stunk like a sour dishrag....
But that sticking together stuff...that's tough to ignore.



Hot and cheesy stuff...hmmm...gave Hot Pockets a whole new meaning for me...
But yeah...I just couldn't stand it.
So at 6:22 P.M. E.S.T....I took a shower and did it feel great!
I doubt that plan would have worked anyway. I don't really know if the people who live with me even realize I'm here unless they need something. So a new plan formed in my head....

I could hide all of the laundry in my room and every time someone throws it in a pile without folding it, I'll hide that too! That's my new plan...heh heh heh...
I will begin my new strategy today. I'm going to go into my room and fold everything up, placing it in a trunk that normally holds blankets and wait for people to discover they have nothing to wear.
It might come down to this one morning but a woman's got to do what a woman's got to do....



Thank God Mr.Man has nice legs....I bet after he has to raid my closet a few times, he won't be throwing the laundry on the floor anymore.

I have a mind like a steel trap I'm telling you....

So today there is no school again. Yet another snow day....
What is it about a little snow that sends every West Virginian out to the grocery store to buy bread and milk? Are they worried about running out of toast? Does the urge to have a glass of milk hit whenever they're sitting at home looking at all the fluffy white stuff outside their house? That makes me want to eat marshmallows not drink milk! And who gives a shit about toast when you there are Pop Tarts? I don't understand it. Ever since I moved here I haven't understood it.
When I hit up the store my buggy is full of important things, like marshmallows and Pop Tarts, orange juice or cranberry juice (cause I can mix them with vodka) toilet paper (you can never have enough toilet paper) and a few can's of beans.
Oh yeah...batteries too...and not batteries for the flashlight either. If the power goes off I'm going to get bored real fast and laying in the dark like that, well it gets me thinking about stuff and well...never mind.



I'm sure you know what I mean...

The first year I moved here, Miss-know-it-all and Veggie Stick were just little tykes.It was 1993 and the first part of 1994, we were hit with a HUGE snowstorm.
Mr.Man had to go out and work in it for days and days(so a bunch a people could get their power back on)and I was trapped in our apartment alone with the kiddos.
We were ok for the first two or three days but then things began to run out....milk, bread, diapers and cereal.
So being from the northern tundra of Maine, I bundled the kids up in their snow suits and boots, scarves, hats and mittens and piled them on the toboggan I'd brought with me.



In West Virginia a toboggan is a knit cap. In Maine it is a wooden sled.*shrugs*
Anyway...as we trudged away from the house, the neighbors watched with curiosity. A couple of them yelled out the door at me to get back inside my house "afore I killed them babies"..some even had a few choice words to describe me. Let's just say I wasn't immediately embraced by people when I first moved here...at least not the people who lived near me. Can anyone say "Damn Yankee"? Let's say that I was considered somewhat of an outcast.
Regardless of their opinion of me it didn't take long for them to figure out that I was going to the store. Man did I get a different response from them then! I was stopped countless times as I trudged through the snow down the street.By the time I had made my way to Charles Avenue, I had an order to purchase over six gallons of milk and four loaves of bread and return home with all of it.
Thankfully I had brought an empty crate to put my stuff in and it was tucked in behind the girls, serving as a back rest for them as well.

I trudged through the snow and made my way to FasChek, only to discover they were closed. So off I went to Krogers, which was quite a haul with two babies on the back of a toboggan. It was still snowing and the streets were covered. I don't remember seeing anyone out driving and I was worried my trek to Krogers would be pointless. But they were open and I was able to buy supplies for all of 19th street..(Hillside).
It's a good thing the girls and I were all used to the cold...



Who would have know that the years of living in frigid temperatures would come in handy someday? Our contribution to the survival of the residents on 19th street during the blizzard of 1994 will go down in the history books now...

See? I'm famous and I didn't even remember what I'd done to get there. God I wonder if that's a side effect of drinking cheap Vodka? I'm going to have to stick to the good stuff from now on.

Today's word will be......"Can"...
Heh heh heh....
There is NO DAMN SCHOOL AGAIN TODAY so the screaming youth hormone sacks will be asking me if they can do things(unreasonable things) or if I can do impossible things...like can I tell Miss-know-it-all to shut up or if I can stop Veggie Stick from annoying Miss-know-it-all...etc...fight...fight...fight.A freakin cat fight all day long.I don't know why they ask me to do anything. They don't listen to me...
Of course now, due to the power I wield known as "The Word of the Day", when they ask me if I "can" do anything at all,I will simply yell and scream and make a lot of noise.
Veggie Stick will be the first to pick up on it and Miss-know-it-all will get out the thesaurus to look for alternate words. Little Beatle just carries around a notepad and writes what he wants after the first word of the day outburst.He doesn't give me much trouble yet but of course he's not a teen-ager either. Wait until his voice starts cracking, then I bet I'll get more attitude.

And with all of that said...this is my mood for today...



I feel like playing in the snow!!!! I wonder if my station wagon would do some good donuts in the old Ames parking lot? If I get caught I could lie and say I was sliding. Who'd think that a 41 year old woman in a station wagon would be doing donuts on purpose?
And why didn't I bring my cross county skis with me when I moved down here? My stupid brother talked me into giving them to him!! The hell I say!!! Every time it snows, I kick myself for listening to him...*shakes fist at brother in Maine*

I'm probably just going to get stuck making an x-rated snow sculpture...HMMMPPPFFFTT!!! Oh well...I better make the most of it.