Let me tell you, when he's sick he's about as cuddly as a desert cactus.
He's got the personality of a snotty nosed preschooler too...
I'm not sure if he's actually sick or if he's just run out of clean clothes. As I sit and type this, he's laying on the couch in my bathrobe and slippers and I'm not sure what he's got on underneath the robe. I found my pink panties that have printed little green frogs all over them in the dryer this morning with a white load someone had washed. They were stretched WAAYYY the hell out. I put them on and they fell right back off again.
If Mr.Man was forced to wear them can you imagine if something had happened and he'd been rushed by ambulance to the hospital?
I can only begin to imagine the questions, the implications involved....
I'm laughing about it too, so that does mean I'm secretly an evil wife?
It does lead me to ask myself....is my plan working?
This whole plan to get the family to fold clothes may be making more trouble for me.
Miss KIA is home today too. I have to wonder if it's because she's also running out of clothes.
Veggie Stick is just fine with her clothes. A few of her things made their way into the trunk of admonition and when she discovered they were missing,she began washing and folding and putting her things away.
I caught Little Beatle looking through the dryer for socks and underwear this morning and found a stash of towels in his dresser. I think he's caught on and it making sure nothing else disappears. No..he didn't fold laundry but he took all of his stuff out of the dryer and put it in his room. That's an improvement.
I suppose you could say that the two youngest in the house have better survival skills than the older two.
I just wonder if they're going to catch on before they drive me insane. I can't have them home another day. Well...Miss KIA hasn't been staying home, but Mr.Man...he's been home five days in a row....
No amount of Vodka will help. I tried that last night.
Speaking of Vodka...
The house next door to me is for sale.
I guess the people who bought it really couldn't stand to live next door to me. Who would figure that a few drunken passes through the back yard in the nude would lead to them moving out?
The people who lived there before them didn't have a problem with it.In fact they guy who lived there used to have a lot of friends drop by to visit.
There were people there all the time and they were all very friendly....really they were.
Anyway, the people who live there now are tying to sell it themselves without using a realtor.
That could very well mean that someone just like them will move in. If you can't appreciate drunken spectacles, you need not apply for a loan, in my opinion.
I for one can't have any elderly hell people living there. In fact, I found a shrubbery I'd like to put up to deter anyone from buying it who doesn't have a sense of humor...
I think that could send the right kind of message.
The word for today is "honey".
That's right..."honey".
If Mr.Man whines "Honey, can you rub my back/head/shoulders/legs/arms/feet ONE MORE DAMN TIME,I'M GOING TO SCREAM AND YELL AND JUMP UP AND DOWN WITH BOTH FEET!!!
Why can't he ask me to rub something worth rubbing, like his chest or his ass or his erection?...
I ALWAYS get stuck rubbing the yucky boring shit!
Anyway...this is my mood for today...
I believe I'll let you speculate on this one...
I'll return tomorrow...HUMP DAY...GET READY!
Your evil plan seems to be working! You just need to hold out long enough to break the ones that are more used to the bad habits. And if you ever know he is wearing those panties it is your civic duty to somehow get him exposed in a public place, it would be freaking hillarious.
ReplyDeleteSick husbands are adorable aren't they? My hub always wants me to notice how stoic he is being *eye roll* Yes sweetie you are being very brave with those aches and pains.
ReplyDeleteWhen I'm sick I just want to be left the hell alone. Of course if you're a mom this is not allowed by children. Which means when their mom is sick I must remove them from the premises before a spoon or thermometer becomes embedded somewhere in their body.
ReplyDeleteWhen the house next door is being shown run out back and pretend your sunbathing. In January. Don't even have to be nude, a swimsuit will do. That should ensure you don't get the wrong people moving in next door. And as an extra bonus, after you get sick and frostbit hubby will nurse you back to health. lol
MY Mr.Man nurse me back to health?
ReplyDeleteBWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Scott...you're too funny!
Every time the Evil Twin has a sniffle, he claims he has the "flu". I swear, if I had a dollar for everytime he had the "flu", we'd be rich beyond belief. LOL.
ReplyDeleteWearing your wife's panties could be interpreted as a sign of desire for hanky-panky, not that I know from personal experience or anything -- at least not in my current marriage. ;) So maybe that's why things didn't work out last time? Ya think?
ReplyDeleteIf real estate is moving there at the same pace as it is here, you'll have your current neighbors for a while yet, especially if they aren't using a Realtor. But I like the shrubbery trim idea as a way to express yourself.
Holy Crap. Is that all I have to do to get my neighbors to move? Isn't it legal in WV for women to be topless on their own property? I think I read that somewhere. I may have also made that up.
ReplyDeleteAnyway...
I so want all of your secrets on getting a shitty neighbor to move. I hate them so bad.
The drunk passing out? What's WRONG with that? IS there something wrong with that?
ReplyDeletePlease tell me there's nothing wrong with that.
I WANT that shrub. In fact, I want about 7-8 of them, lined up all along the edge of my yard!
ReplyDelete