A ranty rant from a rowdy ranting ranter!!!

Where do I begin?
Last night I got stomping and jumping up and down with both feet mad. I threw a fit, threw my phone and wanted to throw someone through the window.
I made up a few new cuss words too whilst on my tirade.

"Fushit" and "Dammitch"...guess my words ran together as I was screaming and pulling my hair.

So what is it that made me SO angry you ask?
I'll explain it the best I can...then I'll expect comments.

Miss-know-it-all has a boyfriend. They have been going out for over a year. Because he's such a sweetheart and a nice easy going guy, I'll refer to him as Happy.



He really is a sweetie. Anyway, as I said, they've been going out for over a year. He and Miss-know-it-all are not only boyfriend and girlfriend, they're also best friends. She helps him with his homework and they hang out with mutual friends. It's a good thing I think...
But what I think doesn't matter...apparently.

I'm not certain when things changed but things changed and Happy's mother decided that Miss-know-it-all and Happy were seeing too much of each other. I tended to agree with her. They saw each other seven days a week.It was way too serious and they needed time apart to spend with other people. Of course I was not consulted about this, I was TOLD how things were going to be and it was decided that their time would be limited to two days a week. Designated days at that. Friday night and Saturday. period.
At first it went as planned and the kids adjusted. Then after a month, there were 'things' that always came up to keep Happy from arriving when planned. He would be late almost every time. Then his curfew dropped to an hour earlier. Am I wrong to think that there was a plot afoot?
There was no compromise which meant that Miss-know-it-all had to plan her entire life around this no-compromise schedule imposed by Happy's mother and father.
Then things began to get better again. Happy was allowed to arrive when expected and Miss-know-it-all even got invited to church with him and his grandmother. I thought things were going well.

One evening when Happy had said he'd be over to pick up Miss-know-it-all at 5pm, she became upset when it was 7pm and she hadn't heard from him.
So she called the house. No answer.
She called his dad's cell phone. No answer.
She kept calling his dad's cell phone...a lot.There was no answer and no return calls.

I know she shouldn't have done it.It was rude and thoughtless of her. So I took her cell phone away as punishment. Of course she's sixteen and had plans with someone who hadn't shown up yet...and it wasn't just anyone, it was her boyfriend...so she's going to do what any 16 year old would do...call and call to try to find out what's going on. Hell..I know some adults that do that.

Finally around 7:30, Happy's dad called TO YELL AT ME! He bitched me out for a good fifteen minutes until I could get a word in edgewise. He told me that Happy didn't have to answer to Miss-know-it-all because they weren't married and he didn't owe her a phone call or anything else no matter how late he was going to be.
WTF? I was flabbergasted.
"What about consideration?", I asked him.
"They're not married!", he yelled at me.
So...I thought to myself...I'm dealing with a person here who doesn't show consideration for anyone unless he's married to them?
I bit my tongue trying not to drop the "FUCK" bomb on him along with a few other choice words.
"I'm an adult"...I kept repeating like a mantra..."Don't loose your cool"..."Breathe...Breathe..."
To make a long story short,I kept my cool and he finally calmed down enough for us to have an adult conversation.I felt like we had a good conversation about things. I actually felt we'd made some headway.
I didn't disrespect him. I didn't try to change the rules. I simply tried to introduce some mutual respect and consideration to the situation. And I did punish Miss-know-it-all for the harassing phone calls plus she apologized to him for calling his phone so many times.

So we got through that issue.

Then last night Miss-know-it-all told Happy about our upcoming trip to Ohio for weekend later this month. She asked him if he would ask his parents which days they could trade off for the two days she'd be gone. So Happy approached his dad and tried to ask him. Dad said no..without listening to him at all. He wasn't interested in any reasons or anything else...he just said no.
So then Miss-know-it-all was forced into a choice to either going with us or miss her two designated days with Happy.

Hmmm....

Happy's parents are divorced, so Miss-know-it-all called Happy's mother, explaining the situation and asking her if there was a compromise.Happy's mother said she'd talk to Happy's dad about it.Miss-know-it-all said that Happy's mom was very nice to her about the whole thing and felt better because at least she'd had a chance to explain. She was fully prepared to accept any answer but wanted a chance to ask at least.

Then I got the phone call.
Happy's mother told me that she didn't appreciate Miss-know-it-all calling her and trying to manipulate the situation.
I asked her what she meant by that.
She said that when Happy's dad said no, that meant no, yet Miss-know-it-all tried to manipulate the situation by calling her and she shouldn't have called her...at all. She said that she should have accepted the situation and let it go.
Then a nasty comment was made about how she wouldn't allow her child to call someone else's parents when the answer was no and try to convince them to change their mind.

Let me go off on a tangent for a moment...Every time Happy's mother gets upset with Miss-know-it-all, she attacks my parenting.My parenting skills do not include an all-seeing, all-knowing controller beam that bends the will of my children to do my bidding. If it did, then I wouldn't be hiding my fucking laundry or washing my own damn dishes.It's petty and hateful and vicious but I guess that's how she is...Miss Perfection and don't you forget it.

End tangent...

Getting back to the phone conversation, she kept going on and on about Miss-know-it-all and her manipulative scheming and I literally blew up. I told her that I felt my child had called her for help and because she though she could talk to her about it. I didn't think she was being manipulative or disrespectful about it. I told her I was tired of every action being twisted into something bad or evil and how she vilified my daughter every opportunity she had.
Then she brought up the conversation I had with Happy's dad and gave me the same old, "They're not married bullshit."
What the hell is wrong with these people??? Do they not know what it means to be considerate of someone you're not married to? And if they're both on the same page with this, then why the hell did they get divorced in the first goddamn place???

I tried to be calm and I tried to be rational but I just had had enough. I didn't tell her to go fuck herself or get fucked or crawl in a fucking hole and die...
I didn't say anything nasty or crude.
I was firm but respectful and calm.
So she hung up on me...very mature...and I responded maturely by throwing my phone at the wall and yelling a few choice cuss words.

Later she emailed me. It was a very nasty email and once more she attacked me and my daughter.

Let me tell you, this woman is not right in the head.

So what do you think?
Am I wrong to be upset about this?
Should Miss-know-it-all have not called and just accepted their unreasonable and ever changing terms without trying to work out a compromise?
I think Miss-know-it-all handled it very calmly and maturely, considering the constant barrage of problems and insults.

I mean, it's their decision but it also affects my family. I don't think it was handled very rationally or fairly. I tried to be supportive and respectful of their choices although I didn't agree with them and I made every attempt to try to compromise.

Yes, there was one day when Happy was here, that I told him,I agreed they were seeing too much of each other,but I felt that going from seven days a week to two uncompromising days was harsh.
Somehow...when she heard him tell her that, in HER HEAD it got twisted around to me telling him that I said it was stupid.
Oh yeah...and now she's decided that they can't see each other at all.
This is due to my so-called remark,that I didn't even make, and Miss-know-it-all's manipulative phone call to her.

So what do you think?
What would you do?
I really would value some input on this.

Thank GOD that Happy will turn 18 this summer and then there will be no more conflict over whether he can see Miss-know-it-all. When I mentioned that I couldn't wait for that to happen, she accused me of wanting to get rid of my daughter.
I don't get it...what's the connection there?

I just need to stop writing about it or I could go on all day...Just please some one tell me I'm crazy or I'm not crazy or whatever....

Next time I write...no rants. And thanks for listening to me bitch...