Short and to the point.....

Do you have ANY idea how many sweet little kitties have been slaughtered on my account?

That's all I'm saying today....fuck it.

Snowy, blowy, snow

Yesterday I received a package from Maine.
Of course there were the usual goodies in it...a few homemade things from Nana...some Aroostook Republican newspapers(not politically affiliated with the Republican party..that's just the name of it)...trinkets for the kids and gum (Nana thinks I don't allow my children to have gum for some weird reason) and pictures!
I LOVE getting pictures from home!!!
In fact these pictures were so special I'm going to share them with you...

The winter this year has been pretty snowy. In fact Nana said it's like the winters they had when I was a little girl. Judging by this picture, I'd say she's right.



This road, by the way, is one of the main roads in New Sweden. The roads stay snow covered for the most part and that's probably why they mix salt and sand together to treat the roads. Without the sand, there'd be no traction and it would take insane amounts of salt to treat those roads.
The plow trucks come through and fill the end of everyone's driveway(as you can see in this picture)....



My uncle had better get busy shoveling...LOL

This is a picture taken from the road, looking across the front lawn to my Nana's house.



Nana has a two story house and all you can see is the roof. Normally, there is a lamp post in the middle of the front lawn, with a planter around it. In the summer, we have a screen tent up, with a picnic table and chairs in in.
I hope all that snow is gone before I get there....

Last but not least...here is a picture of the little barn in the back yard. Mr.Man can stand straight up in the center of it. He's six foot, two inches.



Nana wrote on the back of that picture that she hoped it would still be standing when the snow melts. Apparently they are having a hard time getting to it to shovel the snow off the roof.

So yeah...that's snow. Maine snow. I know some of you have also seen huge snow like that this year where you live, so you won't be as shocked as the others who don't get much more than a half a foot or so....maybe...but I wanted to share.

Anyhow, that's basically going to do it for me today. I have to get busy cleaning because I have the time today and won't have any time the rest of the week.

The word of the day is going to be "condescending".
Yeah...I know it's a big word and everything, but I read a blog post yesterday and it was the first thing that popped into my tiny little mind. I even looked it up in the dictionary just to make sure that my dumbed-down version of blogging hadn't deteriorated my brain cells.

I might not be college educated or write blogs that read like law books, but at least I'm not condescending...
I don't pretend to be anything I'm not...and I don't believe I'm any better than anyone else.



AHHH!!!HEH HA! HEH HA!!! CLAPS HANDS!!!

With that mini-irritation rant concluded (WOW...another big word), here is my mood for today....



Yes...I am actually in the mood to clean today. In fact, I think I'll spruce up a few things and get rid of a couple things I no longer feel that I need to subject myself to any longer...

See ya later Oh perspicacious one!(wow...another big word)

I'm weady fow a woad twip.....

I'm ready to get out of this town for awhile.
In fact it won't be but a few short months and we'll be on the road to Maine. I'll sell one of my kidneys to pay for gas. We'll leave Freya to care for the cats and the house, so I'll have to stock up the refrigerator...which will require the sale of some other body part. THEN, once we actually get on the road, Mr.Man will want to talk about history or some other thing like that for the entire 22 hours is takes to get there, which is ok for maybe an hour or two...but honestly...I can't handle 22 hours of history. I feel like I'm back in school, trying not to fall asleep at my desk.
The kids help break up the monotony by fighting and the dog may or may not throw up every couple of miles or so until her Dramamine kicks in.

I used to sleep a lot of the way, but I've stopped that now. We had a scary experience with Mr.Man falling asleep and almost plowing into a concrete barrier near Scranton on interstate 81.Thankfully we all lived to tell the tale and no one was killed or injured.
Of course I've never really gotten over that. I'm still petrified that Mr.Man's little eyelids will droop and we'll go careening over the side of a bridge or something. So...being the responsible adult and protective wife and mother that I am..I entertain Mr.Man so he doesn't get bored and fall asleep.



I'm sure he enjoys it as much as I enjoy the history lectures. In fact I bet he considers himself the luckiest man alive!

Miss KIA sits in the back seat and emerges herself in books, crafts, games and music...She goes out of her way to ignore all of us and imagines we are secretly breathing too loud or using our huge powers of telekinesis to make the sun shine in her eyes. In her mind we torture her and she barely tolerates us. She believes she's the only one with any intelligence in the car. It must be horrible for her to be stuck in a car with us.....



Poor, poor child. If only I possessed a fraction of her intelligence and she possessed a fraction of my easy going nature, we could have a conversation that doesn't irritate us like someone running their nails down a chalk board.

Veggie Stick gets car sick. VERY car sick. So she gets drugged and placed in the back with a bucket propping her up. We give her a pillow, a blanket and she sleeps. So she is mostly left alone and doesn't have any idea what lies between West Virginia and Maine. She sleeps most of the way while the rest of us amuse ourselves watching her drool on the window or fart in her sleep or snore...can't forget the snoring...
Of course there is a down side to all that entertainment. Once in awhile she wakes up and let me tell you...she can be slightly irritable...



If we stop so she can pee and drink something, she's ok though.

Little Beatle prepares for our long road trip by fortifying his area in the seat farthest back. He is aware that he will suffer terrible pain and torment if he attempts to speak to either of his sisters for the 22 hour ride. He sends us text messages to ask for food , water and bathroom stops.He just doesn't chance it. I provide him with his own little cooler, a blanket and pillow. He brings his games and a book and music and he's content. In fact, I'd have to say that Little Beatle is probably the easiest one to travel with. He's a travel hardened soldier...



He knows what it takes to survive the two day trip. Don't make the mistake of underestimating him...and don't drink out of any opened bottles that look like apple juice...even if they say apple juice on them. He's a smart kid.

Then there is the dog.
She travels well if we can get the Dramamine to kick in.
The first year we had her, we gave her Dramamine, as the vet prescribed, and then after thirty minutes began our trip.
Unfortunately the medication didn't work and the dog threw up...all over Veggie Stick's blanket.Veggie Stick screamed like someone was ripping her toenails out with pliers and we pulled over. After rinsing out the blanket with bottled water and using hand sanitizer to clean everything (all while listening to Veggie Stick sob hysterically, "WHY ME? WHY? WHY? WHY?")we got back on the road again.

Then the dog threw up a second time. This time it was on Veggie Sticks shoes, with Miss KIA snickering and Veggie Stick going off with a new bought of hysterics. Once again we pulled over, cleaned everything up and made a call to the vet's office. They told us to give the dog a second dose and after a half hour wait, we resumed our trip with no other mishaps.
Well.....unless you want to consider Veggie Stick going off on us and screaming that we hated her because we allowed her to walk into the rest area without telling her she had mascara smeared down the front of her face. Honestly, I didn't even think about it. She'd bawled her head off after the dog had thrown up on her twice and I was too busy cleaning up after the dog to think about cleaning her up. She's a teen-ager for crying out loud. Can she not clean up her own face?



Yeah...she was pretty upset when she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror.She was evil after that but it was short lived thanks to the Dramamine.

As for me, I don't worry about shit when I travel. I mean, what are the chances I'll ever lay eyes on any of the people I see between here and Maine? Hell...I can do whatever I want.

I can....



And I can do this too if I feel like it....



There was one year we made the mistake of stopping and eating at a Cracker Barrel when we were traveling. It made me terribly sick. I was SO miserable. Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore and we sped off the nearest exit so I could be sick. As I'm puking my guts out, people are driving by and honking their horn. WTF? I'm barfing and they're expecting a wave? Only in Pennsylvania I suppose...who knows? Mr.Man said that as incredible as it sounds, I threw my hand up and waved while heaving out the country fried what-ever-the-hell it was I had eaten. I suppose it was out of habit or something. I don't remember. I DO remember thinking...yeah...that's right asshole. I'm puking. Yeah...honk again. I'd like to take that horn and shove it right up your ass...

Mmmmmm....It was a special moment.

My word for the day is going to be slave. I am feeling more and more like a slave and less and less like a person. Now if I was feeling like a sex slave, I could enjoy that and revel in it. But this is the bad, drop everything and do my bidding kind of slave that's not fun and doesn't make me happy.

I don't like not being happy...

Ummm...so anyhow...the plan is for me to scream slave today every time someone expects me to drop everything and cater to them. I will yell it, then jump up and down and clap my hands while making noise.
I'm thinking maybe I'll get a section 8 or some other discharge from the housewifery brigade?

Meh....probably not.

With that said...here is my mood today...



Man...I have GOT to lay off the candy and starches. My ass has actually shrunk a little bit, but my boob propper is rolling over the top of my pants. It's cramping my style. I can't wear anything I want to because I HATE that belly flop thing that's happening down there.



ok....so it's not that bad yet, but that's why Captain Vegetable and I are going to be friends for awhile.
It's not vanity...I just want my clothes to fit without any body parts being squished out of any openings or holes in them....unless they're supposed to be squished out on purpose.

Have a great day!

Laughter is the best medicine....

I feel a little better today. Still exhausted though...and my legs are crampy...and I ate a stupid pudding cup that made me want to hurl, but Mr.Man insisted that it would be good for me. My stomach's not ready for that heavy stuff yet. I barely kept down a scrambled egg last night for pete's sake.
So I'm taking it easy again today.
I sat with the heating pad on my legs and drank seventeen thousand gallons of water. That should help it I think...
In other news, my pee is crystal clear and I could probably bottle it and sell it as "Nectar of the Goddess"...but I won't...so don't worry. If you see anything like that on the market, it's not me and it's not that...



Er...anyway...let's move on shall we?

I was going to take a bath to help with the leg cramps but my skin is dry that when I stand still and scratch my legs, it looks like a toddler just finished eating a bag of crackers.



Yeah...it's pretty dry I'm telling ya...

There is lotion of course, but I'm too damn tired to put it on. So it's going to have to wait.
I'm too tired.
I feel too bad.
In fact, I've felt too tired and too bad to even have sex, by myself or with Mr.Man so that's got to tell you how sick I've felt.

That's pretty sick...

I found this clip today because I've been sick of TV and watching shows about improving everything in my life,so I checked out some of the YouTube funnies and this was perfect.
In fact it was so funny that I practically peed my pants, not unless the seventeen thousand gallons of water had anything to do with that...
Anyway, you've got to watch this...well...listen to it. The video sucks but the He said, She heard thing is insane and so is the cussing thing after it. I hope you get a laugh out of it as much as I did.
I'm serious...



I'm still laughing...

I guess the word for today can be "cripes" after the last part of that video clip. Of course who says "cripes" anymore, right? That's kind of why I picked it. I'm just too worn out to yell and scream and make a big deal over a word so why take chances?

In other news, all my underwear are baggy. I'm not even shitting you. Three days without food and my underwear are literally falling off me. Not the thongs of course but my ass is chapped from shitting myself silly and wearing one would be like running dental floss through a blister...eeeee...
It feels like someone napalmed my ass crack while I was sleeping and I've been forced to shuffle around cautiously so nothing rubs together too much or there's extreme pain and I'm howling like a coon dog.
Ice helps...but it also melts and when you're trying to sleep, that's not so good...especially when your ice pack leaks damnit.
I found some A&D ointment and I used that, so it's helped some, but I may have to wear a skirt and no panties for a few days and let it heal up.
Yeah...
I'd better check the weather and make sure it's not going to be windy...



It might upset someone...you never know.

On that note...here is my mood for today.



I look like shit...
I FEEL like shit...
BUT I still have shit to do. I have paperwork for Little League...yes...it's true. There is apparently no rest for the wicked or in my case, the angelic.

Listen to the video clip...really..it'll make you laugh. See ya tomorrow if I have the energy.

Perilous journey of illness...

Day three: I'm still sick. I find myself drifting in and out of consciousness.. In an attempt to keep hydrated I keep sipping an unknown liquid from a cup Mr.Man left me before he went to work.
It makes me want to barf.
I drink it anyway...

(slips into dreamland)

(Awake again):I THINK I'm alone. I hope the kids went to school. I made arrangements for them to ride with other people and threatened to shave heads and throw out any clothes with holes in them if they took advantage of me and stayed home. I crawled out of bed and sat on the "potty of death" for an hour. I feel like shit. Then I realized the nasty liquid in the cup was gone so this meant a trip downstairs to replenish my liquids.

Oh my God the house is a WRECK! What a disaster! Are they leaving this crap for me to clean up when I feel better?

(Walks to the utility closet and grabs matches and old newspapers. Considers burning house down but then reconsiders...only because of the weakened state and possibility of not getting out in time....)

Damn...I can't believe they'd leave this garbage for me to clean up.

(Walks into kitchen...Hmmm...the dishes are clean. That's probably enough to save them all from punishment....maybe...)

Wow...I'm burning up. I feel like I'm standing over a BBQ spit. Where's that stuff Mr.Man's been putting in my cup?

(Walks to the fridge and looks in. Find Vitamin Water in orange flavor...loads cup with ice and grabs bottle...walks to living room and collapses on couch. Drinks some...turns on TV...Watches self improvement shows and drifts in and out of sleep...dreaming about redecorating my furniture with dresses and painting pictures with used shoes and toothbrushes.)

I am not a TV person and that's probably the worst thing about being so sick. It seems like everything on TV is about improving yourself, your house, your marriage, your kids...it's like according to TV, you're not doing anything right and they can help you fix it.

I'm not so unhappy with everything that I need THAT much help?
I have to pee...

(A trip upstairs to the bathroom and that fact that I CAN actually pee gives me hope that I'm almost through the worst of it. I decide to go back downstairs and try eating a piece of toast. It will be the first real food I've kept down since Sunday.)

I ate the toast...it's stayed down for an hour now...so here I am.

I sure hope I can get back to my normal routine tomorrow. I'm WAY too tired to write anymore.

Everyone take care...

A little FYI

The flu has taken me hostage.
I woke up this morning, got out of bed and walked to the bathroom...only to be grabbed by the colon and have the shit shaken out of me. Then a wave of heat spread over my body and Little Beatle watched in horror as I threw up down the front of myself and on Sven's tail (the big cat).

Yay...fucking yay...

I've been sleeping all morning and now I must lie down again.

Writing in here was too much effort for this sicko...

Meh...

Sorry about the absence again but I've been busy. I've crawled into bed exhausted around midnight and then crawled out of it at five to begin the entire madhouse dash the next day. I've felt like I've woken up with my hair on fire the past three days.

THAT'S the reason I haven't written for a couple of days....

Well...there's that and something else that's been on my mind.

I have a close friend I've know for three years now. I felt an instant connection with them and we became close. I can tell them anything...no...really. I feel that intimate with them.
But this week I thought about the past year or so and how distant they've become. In fact the last time I was with them, when I went to hug them, I felt awkward and uncomfortable. That was a couple of months ago and really, it's bothered me since then.
It's a hard thing to realize that someone you've been in such a close and intimate friendship with, has made you feel...I don't know...like you're hugging a stranger.

So I shot off an email and told them about it...said I didn't even know them anymore. We have grown apart and I just don't feel as close to them as I used to. I said I didn't think they really knew who I am and quite frankly, if you were to walk up to them and ask them a question about what I did last week, they wouldn't be able to tell you.
Hell...I don't even know what they did either.

It's not like we have ever had a lot of time for eachother, our families and other commitments have kept us from having time to even pick up the phone and say hi, let alone have lunch or something, but I've never felt awkward around them...not until recently. And what's worse is that this constant separation has caused me to question my ability to trust them. So now I don't even feel like I have anyone to confide the most troubling and embarrassing things to. I feel totally vulnerable to them, just like the rest of the world.

Ironic considering that I'm writing in here, right?

I'm trying to be brave.

So...no pictures or moods or laughs today. It's almost 11 P.M. and I just needed to write about this and get it off my chest.

I want thing to be the way they were three years ago when we first became friends. It was fun and lighthearted and we enjoyed talking to each other and seeing each other. We made time to do things together, with our kids. It was a mutual friendship...an equal relationship.
I felt like I had a friend I could rely on...turn to...trust.

I don't feel like I have those options anymore.
I don't even feel like I'm welcomed to be part of their life anymore.

So...I guess it's time to let go. They say if you set something free, if it's meant to be, it'll come back to you...

Let's see if it's meant to be or not.