Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Pastor Blonde Goddess...where art thou?

It's pissing down the rain today.
It was supposed to be nice today and then rain tomorrow, but how lucky for us that we got it two days in a row instead.

Oh well...it's not like I was going anywhere anyway!

It's Elderly Hell day and although I have figured out how to keep them at bay,(shitty finger of death), they are still plotting against me!( It's a great day for a hidey-hole...)
It's just a matter of time before they find new recruits...I don't want to be around when that happens...


"They say she uses the Shitty Finger of Death to protect herself now."
"I ain't skeered of that Martha. Hell, I used to have to walk uphill in shit waist high just to get to school when I was a youngster."

Evil bitches...

I got a couple of awards, although I'm completely undeserving of them.

I got an awesome award from John.



Ain't it beautiful?
He is such a sweetheart. He has such nice things to say about me. I always have to look twice and make sure he is actually talking about me! HAHAHA!

I also received this award from Just Jen.



I'm supposed to tell you all 10 things about me that no one knows...
Hmmmm...how about I tell you 10 things YOU probably/maybe don't know about me?
I pretty much lay it all out there when I write, so it might be difficult for me to think of 10 things...

Here it goes....

1. When I was a kid, I believed that my father was actually the love child of Katherine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy. My dad was adopted and while I didn't know him, I saw pictures and was convinced he was their baby.
I even thought I looked a lot like them both...



Ok...so maybe not so much...I WAS A KID! SHUT UP!

2. I considered being a Lutheran Pastor when I was 14-15 years old.
I know...I'm sure THAT'S something you would NEVER have guessed about me, but you know...in spite of my dislike for the Jesus Police, I don't dislike Jesus. He drank wine and grew his hair out and was a rebel...always wanted by the law for doing his own thing. I'm thinking we would have gotten along real good...


"They'll never take us alive, will they Jesus?"

Yeah...I know...I'm going to hell. I only wish I had a dollar for every time I said something that buys me a one way ticket.
I'd be rich!

You know what?
I can't think of anything else.
I'm going to have to sleep on this.
I know there must be something else you don't know about me, but honestly, I can't think of anything right now.

I pretty much share everything in this blog...you know?
Every day is TMI day here!

I'll give it some thought and get back to you tomorrow...

Until then, may the peace and understanding be your always...amen.
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16 comments:

  1. Stacie's MadnessAugust 4, 2009 at 11:52 AM

    omg...the picture of you and jesus? classic. seriously. frame it.

    amen.

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  2. Becky..AMHWAugust 4, 2009 at 12:28 PM

    This site is AWESOME.

    http://jesus-withyoualways.com/

    ReplyDelete
  3. *Just Jen*August 4, 2009 at 12:45 PM

    HA! Despite the Jesus police, you and Him WOULD make a great team!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Miss ThystleAugust 4, 2009 at 12:51 PM

    you can join my ministry if you want to.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Shiny RodAugust 4, 2009 at 1:11 PM

    May we all bow, the Goddess has spoken. She's baaaacck!!!

    ReplyDelete
  6. The DishAugust 4, 2009 at 1:41 PM

    I am convinced that I will be driving the bus that takes us all directly to hell. But have a hard time believing that Jesus wouldn't dig my sense of humor. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Southern SageAugust 4, 2009 at 1:56 PM

    you ain't right.

    I like it.

    ReplyDelete
  8. kenjuAugust 4, 2009 at 2:33 PM

    HOW in the world did you do that pic of you in Jesus' arms???

    ReplyDelete
  9. BrianfAugust 4, 2009 at 5:27 PM

    Ahhhh another fix of The Blonde Goddess! I need to visit more often. This I shall do! BTW 2 of 10 isn't so bad but I'm waiting for the next eight.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Malach the MercilessAugust 4, 2009 at 7:05 PM

    You for got to tell them about the cult of Gnoph Keph

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  11. BeeAugust 4, 2009 at 8:47 PM

    I would have gone to your church! Is it too late to change your mind?

    ReplyDelete
  12. DebraLSchubertAugust 4, 2009 at 9:13 PM

    I bet you were Mary Magdeline in a past life. How else do explain the extreme perfectness of you and J who, btw, was much cooler than reported. There's no way a guy that cool would banish folks to eternal fiery pits for evil crimes like premarital sex or not believing in HIM. I mean, really. How egotistical is that? Nah, J was beyond trivial human traits like being a narcissistic egomaniac. He was WAY too laid back for that kind of Mike Tyson-like behavior. He liked women and he probably was jamming it on the party scene. What's not to like about the guy? His legacy has been trashed over time - turned into some kind of straight-edge freak. Too bad.

    Anyway, you two make a lovely couple. I wish you a lifetime of health, happiness, and lots of babies. Mazel Tov!

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  13. tiffAugust 5, 2009 at 6:46 AM

    Ending with a benediction - NICE!

    Not too late for seminary, you know.

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  14. themomAugust 5, 2009 at 7:09 AM

    You deserve the awards - so enjoy them. And last word from me...don't preach to me!! :) I was kidding...I never really have a last word! I think it would be awesome to be the illegitimate offspring of Spencer and Katherine - two cool people.

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  15. BuzzardbillyAugust 5, 2009 at 8:20 AM

    I stopped at the Kroger's close to you once on a Tuesday. I was waiting to get flogged by little old ladies. But, I'll bet if I had been wearing a shirt with that priceless pic of you and Jesus they would've flogged me out of the store and continued the flogging in the parking lot. Aaah, maybe next time.

    ReplyDelete
  16. LiLuAugust 5, 2009 at 9:38 AM

    I know. Every time I'm tagged with this I'm all, REALLY?? You want to know MORE about me??

    ReplyDelete

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