I talked to my brother last night. He said they funeral will be Wednesday. Apparently my sister-in-laws two sisters living in SC flew up this past Saturday, so there's no need to wait.
The details of the accident were sketchy when I got them, but my brother cleared up a few things for me.
The accident took place on Friday night, not Saturday morning. Earlier in the week, the girlfriend who was driving had slid into a ditch on two other occasions, but this accident involved her swerving into oncoming traffic and then trying to overcompensate for it. A truck hit the side of the car on the driver's side, most likely killing the little girl on impact and critically injuring the driver.
My brother is friends with the paramedics who arrived on the scene and they assured him that she didn't suffer. The cause of death was massive head trauma and they believe she was instantly unconscious.
I think that somehow it made it easier for everyone to know she didn't suffer.
My sister-in-law babysat her for years. When we would go to visit, we'd stay with them. Every morning, my sister-in-law's niece would drop her off and she'd bounce into the house, smiling from ear to ear.
She'd insist on making me breakfast at her little play stove. She always asked me what I wanted and then told me I needed to have oatmeal because it's all she knew how to make...LOL. Plus she would tell me it was good for me and had lot's of "itamins" (she never used the "v" for some reason).
We went to her grandmother's house for the 4th of July to watch the fireworks. She had just started kindergarten. Apparently there was a little boy she had decided she was going to get married to someday. She told everyone that she was going to have fireworks on her wedding night. We all laughed about it because one of the aunts comments about that's what she thought she'd have too and it never happened like that.
I didn't spend more than a couple of weeks each year with her, but she made an impact on my life and the lives of my children. She was a sweet little girl who was showered with love.She took that love and gave it back to the world in so many ways.
She knew more love in her short life than some people experience in their entire lifetime.
I'm grateful that my brother married into that family and my nephews will also know that kind of security and love. I'm thankful that we have been included in that cocoon and have an extended family.
BuzzardBilly asked about which charity they're donating to. I hesitate to say too much because of the trolls that peruse the blog community and harass the grieving, but I will tell you the name of the organization. It's The Sunshine Fund. I looked online to see where to send things and I couldn't find any one organization. I think it may be a local organization affiliated with Catholic charities and if you email me, I'll send you a link to the obituary so you can read the info from there.
I'm sorry to write about this a second day, but I am finding myself thinking about this constantly and I can't shake it. It's such a terrible thing to happen to a family and I hate to see a child taken from the world at such a young age.
It just doesn't seem to make any sense.
I'm just confused about it all. I just keep asking myself why...
Why?
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There is no answer to that question and I doubt there ever would be. I believe that we are brought together in families and groups of friends to learn certain life lessons. Obviously you learned from her, and felt the love she gave and received. Why she had to be taken at such a young age is something we probably couldn't understand - even if there were an aswer forthcoming.
ReplyDelete{{HUGS}} No real answers to this sort of thing. And please write about it as much as you like, this isnt the sort of thing that just goes away after writing about it once. If it helps you to cope with the loss we are here to listen.
ReplyDeleteTammie, I checked this out because I wanted to know how you and her family are doing. Sending you love and prayers.
ReplyDeleteAnd keep us posted.
Keep writing about it all you want. This has impact, real life impact.
ReplyDeleteWhy can't be answered, of course. It's too bad too, becasue it would be nice to have answers.
HUGS to you.
Hi Tammie. This is Jerry in WV. I post on the WVSR quite often. That is how I found your site. I read it daily, but rarely comment. Please take all of the time you need to write/talk about this tragedy. I went thru something similar two years ago when my son-in-laws little brother died at football practice. A senseless death that could have been prevented. He was a big part of our life and it is hard to lose someone like that. Don't be too hard on yourself for grieving. Also, if you are looking for a good non-judgemental church in your community, Dunbar 1st Baptist is a great American Baptist church. You will leave there each week feeling uplifted and ready to go out into the world. I am a deacon there and I think it is an awesome church.
ReplyDeleteIt's heartbreaking and senseless.
ReplyDeleteHugs and open ears from this side of the world.
It is so heartbreaking. Let me know if you need to talk.
ReplyDeletePlease don't apologize for grieving.
ReplyDeleteYou were blessed with an incredible family. The impact this little girl had on your life is obvious.
I am so very, very sorry for your loss.
Tammie, this is just so tragic. While you'll never have an answer to why and it will never seem fair, when the little boy I used to babysit was killed, I did eventually find some comfort in knowing that he would never be in pain again. You see, he was a very sweet and tenderhearted child. He even used to come home crying when he'd seen other kids get teased by bullies. Somehow, thinking he was too sweet for this world, helped me. I can't explain it really.
ReplyDeleteYou need to let yourself grieve and share without guilt. You need to be able to let these feelings out when you feel them. If you bottled it up, kept it to yourself, it would only end up coming out later, worse, and in a way that didn't help your soul. Sharing now does.
((hugs))