"I think special thoughts and then I touch myself."
Seriously...I see where other people allow someone to interview them and while the thought kind of scares me a bit, I figured that it might serve to be interesting.
But how in the world would I choose only one interested applicant?
I mean, I'm sure that there are many people who would chew off their arm at a chance to interview me.
So that's where the idea of putting up a poll to vote on who's going to interview me came in.
I think that would be the only fair way of doing it. Of course you could get people to vote for you if you wanted to and as long as you're the one to win, I'll answer any questions you might have.And depending on who wins, I could be in trouble.
"Moog demonstrates the correct position to the Blonde Goddess for her interview with him."
So...if you'd like to interview the Goddess, tell me in the comments and then after a couple of days I'll post the poll for voting purposes.
May the best person win!
I feel like I'm auctioning myself off here. Maybe I should post a boob shot?
How about a hooker shot?
"The Blonde Goddess on her way to work."
HAHAHA! Actually that's my Halloween costume from a couple years ago. Too funny. Although having sex for a living sounds like something I'd enjoy...yeah..I said it. I'm a shameless hussy. I love sex. I'm a whore. Shut up!
Today I plan to clean out my cupboards. I realized there is a problem when I went to make dinner last night and gave myself a concussion. My stewing pot flew out as soon as I opened the cabinet door and conked me in the noggin.
I swore like a sailor and then realized Mr.Man was on the phone with his mother.
Not good...
Not good at all.
"I can't believe you just said FUCK in front of my mommy!"
Yeah...Mr.Man was pretty upset with me.
Oh well.
It hurt like a son-of-a-bitch and I just blurted out every cuss word I could think of.
Shit like that happens sometimes.
Now if you want to know who the king of swearing is, I'd have to say it's none other than my friend the Bread Beast.
Get in a car with him and watch the cussing commence!
We were visiting him and the Gucci Gal one summer.Their family was having a birthday party and we were on our way there. Mr.Man didn't really want to drive though Boston, so the Bread Beast said he would.
I sat in the front with him while Gucci Gal, Mr.Man and the kids sat in the back.
I get car sick so I needed to sit in the front.
While I didn't get car sick, I did almost shit myself.
"Dear God I think I just shit my pants!"
He drove at breakneck speed,practically parallel parking at ninety.Swerving in and out of lanes...tailgating...I'm talking two inches between our bumper and theirs.
He had this wild look in his eyes and as he drove, he'd lean over me and shout out the passenger side window. "WHAT THE FUCK PECKAH-HEAD! GET IN YOUR OWN GODDAMN LANE! FUCK YOU! NO! FUCK YOU!"
Had we been in West Virginia I would have worried that someone was going to pull their shot gun off the rack in the back window of their truck and blow a hole in the side of the car.
Mr.Man made a comment about the Bread Beast having a little road rage.
Gucci Girl replied, "Oh no. He's being good today. You're not getting the whole show."
THE WHOLE SHOW?
Jesus Christ! What more could their be?
"The Bread Beast prepares for his commute to work."
Who knows? We may get the whole show if we visit this summer.
All I know is that if we go anywhere near Boston,I'm wearing a depends. I'd hate to mess up my cute little summer skirts.
Besides...since they wouldn't let me join that stupid club, I've got an entire box if giant crap catchers sitting around. I might as well use them.
Well that's all I have for now. Leave a comment if you want to interview me. I'll give it a day or two and then post the poll for voting. How many days should I leave it up? I'm thinking through the weekend at least. Then we'll find out who the lucky winner next Tuesday.
In the meantime I'll prepare mentally....
Two questions I usually ask women during an interview:
ReplyDelete1) How much?
..and...
2) You a cop?
Not sure if that's valid here.
You would make an excellent hooker... ummm was that a compliment??? LOL
ReplyDeleteI don't know if I would have interesting enough questions to make a good interview. Have you considered being the interviewer? I think you would come up with the most interesting questions.
Nothing comes to mind, but I'll give it some thought.....LOL
ReplyDeleteI am game BG, I could come up with something to entertain your readers....maybe...LOL!
ReplyDeleteThe idea of interviewing someone scares me! Is that wrong? I'd probably ask things like, "So what did you have for breakfast?"
ReplyDelete"How about dinner?" "Do you have to go potty?"
I spend too much time with preschoolers and babies!
Is that last picture someone wearing depends? Or men's underwear? I'm not sure I totally get that one.
ReplyDeleteCan we nominate people to do the interview? I know you too well to do it myself...
Hell, I'll throw myself in to the ring, although I'm sure there are many others that could do a better job!
ReplyDeleteOh and do tell us, do we interview with our dirty minds or do we need to get all serious? Sometimes I need help loosening up...some merlot would work, but then my typing would suck! Good luck picking the right interviewer!
I know I will certainly be watching for the interview WooHoo!
I'd love to see a boob shot. Seriiously. Please send me one.
ReplyDeleteAlso, It's hard to follow which bloggers follow who. I was going to write a post how you and Moog should follow each other because the multiple picture format that you each post is similar.
You have Skype? Murk and Malach will interview you for our podcast
ReplyDeleteChrist woman... you actually make me laugh out loud, thus waking up the kid and the dog who I must then attend too and then I start cursing you. {did any of that make sense?}
ReplyDeleteThanks for the shits n' giggles
Hell, they say "fuck" here on the TV fer heaven's sake! My wife and I still just look at each other with that, "did he just say fuck?" look. (in the Netherlands here)
ReplyDeleteJust surfed in and had a good chuckle. Thanks.
I know of a couple "boobs" who need to be shot. Isn't that what yer talkin' about?
OMGOD!!!!You need your own t.v show! I swear. LMAO!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI don't want to have to actually do an interview, but I would ask something like:
ReplyDeleteHave you ever found yourself in a game of truth or dare that just immediately went beyond any self imposed limits you might have? You know, like say right out of the shoot, you agree to do a dare and the first thing they do is hand you a latex-free glove and point to the fat guy next to you and dare you to give him a full exam, you know, rectally?
I only ask that because it came to me in a dream a few nights ago.
And if you were to say "no", would you feel guilty for violating the rules of the game?
In my dream, I simply handed back the latex-free glove and said, "Who needs this?", then proceeded to examine my neighbor.
Good thing too; his prostate was somewhat enlarged.
Ummmmmm.... if you commit any crime and get away with it, what would it be?
ReplyDeletehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
ReplyDeleteWell I love the Halloween pic! I bet everyone picked treat that year!
I would love to interview you!!!
ReplyDeleteBut I know there are a bunch on here who would do a great job. (I want a link to that podcast!!!)
You KNOW I'd love to interview you. Oh what dark alleys we could wander!!!
ReplyDeletei vote for Moooooog
ReplyDeleteBG, You forgot all the while BB drives with one arm out the window and "Tall Man" standing proudly! Is it any wonder I drive myself everywhere.
ReplyDelete