I was standing in line preparing to buy my fifth of vodka for the weekend when a huge, hairy biker dude cut line in front of me. I tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me. I was in line first."
He eyeballed me and snorted. Then turned around and looked ahead. It was plain to see that he had no intention of moving.
This really pissed me off, but what was I going to do? He was not only bigger and hairier than me, but I'm pretty sure he was carrying a some metal, if you get my drift.
I thought about smashing my bottle over his head, but then decided it wasn't worth wasting good liquor over.
So we patiently waited for the clerk to arrive to check us out.
Thinking himself manly, he kicked up one leg and farted.
"Pwooeeefff"
???
A big manly killer like this, letting a definite "I've been to prison A LOT" sounding fart?
I had to fix this and fix this quickly.
I strained and strained and now I probably have a hemorrhoid farm to contend with, but when I kicked up my leg and farted, it reverberated like a tuba and a drum roll, all in perfect obnoxious harmony.
Both he and the clerk looked at me.
No one said anything.
Then the biker dude moved aside and I paid for my liquor.
It makes me wonder who he'll tell about this. After all, it's not everyday a biker dude is out-farted by a blonde woman driving a station wagon.
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