I feel BLEH.....

I am trying to share my wisdom and wit today but it's not happening. I feel HORRIBLE!!!
I apparently ate something that disagreed with me. The end result (no pun intended) is that I ended up spending enough time on the potty to read War and Peace. It just made things more painful, this is true, but now I can brag that I've really read the damn book instead of browsing through it and using cheat sheets to get a passing grade on my report on it in school.
I'm hoping that I've rid myself of whatever it was that made me so ill.It's not looking so promising though. I might have enriched my knowledge during my little bout will the Hershey squirts, but my asshole feels as though a baseball bat, covered with sand paper passed through it, sideways...

On the brighter side of things, it was one of those shits where you go so much your pants are loose and the next time you go you don't even have to unbutton those suckers. Just pull em down and go to town...

I won't disgust you with any more details. I just needed to share.
What can I say? I'm a generous soul....

Tomorrow is Senior Citizen Discount Day! It might as well be called, Elderly Hell Fest.I'll be preparing myself mentally and physically for the challenge. I will most likely have to go out tomorrow, so I need to be in top condition. It's not an easy journey through Kroger's on a Tuesday...

But that's another story for yet another day...I'll fill you in on that tomorrow...