Over the mountains and to the valley below...ho ho

I was reading a comment left by someone on The West Virginia Surf Report. It said this....

"Recently I was told that the over 35 spare tire women get is affectionately called the

VAGOMACH

pronounced vajummick."

Hmm...this is a new one for me. I have not heard it called that and furthermore, I fail to understand why it would be tied into the vaginal area anyway. Like I said in my reply to the reference. I would consider it to be closer to the boobages,(like cabbages)...so I call it a boob propper.It's a great asset when you get some drooping.
I would use a boob propper...but something for the lower region? No..I don't need anything to help that out. After all,it's the mountains that have lost their peaks, but the valley still looks great.
I guess I was confused by the entire thing.
So I considered it for a bit. Then I realized that there is a flap of belly fat, a little roll thingy that sits at the bottom of my belly, toward the valley and that could be considered a Vagomach. I've often wondered about making myself a little security pouch out of it, kind of like a kangaroo pouch deal, just because no amount of sit ups, or other torture has made it go away. It's a direct result of pregnancy and any woman who doesn't have it, even a little one, after having a baby, isn't human or has had plastic surgery to fix it.

(Don't even try to tell me you don't have one and you have four kids or I will be forced to call NASA and report you as an Alien, sent here to spy on us before the colonization invasion.)

There are just some things I won't buy into...

I don't think I want to run for city council. I've reconsidered the whole thing. I think I'd win, of course, but there are other factors I've been made aware of...recently...

For example:

Are you aware that if you are friends with a certain city official in this town, that people will sit and take pictures of you?

I was talking to a guy last night who told me that people sit on his street and take pictures of him...reading his paper, walking to his car, playing ball with his son...

WTF?

I can only conclude that our council members, or at least certain ones, are insane or aliens.

Have you noticed that I'm kind of stuck on the alien thing today? Not that I'm an alien or anything. I'm not. And yes, I can lick my eyeball with my tongue but that's a gift, not an alien trait.

When our next to oldest daughter was in first grade we had her convinced that we were aliens. We kept telling her that when she turned 8, she would begin to change into her true appearance. She would laugh at us and tell us to stop saying it, but she was buying into it. I could tell.
We ended up having to come clean with her and admit we were normal(normal?) one night after supper. We had just enjoyed some cathead stew (we aliens ate catheads),when my daughter began to tell my husband she didn't believe we were aliens and she didn't believe we'd just eaten cathead stew and my husband, who has incredibly stretchy skin, pulled at the bottom of his face and made it look like he was peeling the skin off it. He roared," THIS IS WHAT I REALLY LOOK LIKE!" and my daughter screamed at the top of her lungs and ran to her room!
I'm pretty sure she'll need therapy for that some day, but we did come clean with her. Told her we weren't aliens. Told her that daddy's face couldn't peel off and revel an alien head. (we even let her try for herself)

Are we the only parents that do things like this?

Ooops. Gotta go. The cat trap in the back yard just snapped...heh heh