He cussed a blue streak and gave me dirty looks during the entire thirty minutes he was on the phone.
APPARENTLY no one had the tire we needed and they wouldn't have it until Monday.
That news, of course, gave Mr.Man a reason to be pissed at me. Yeah...I know...he was pissed at ME! Like I'm the fucking tire fairy or something and I "planned" the whole thing!
Of course it ended up that I called one of the tire places and got not only one new tire but three new ones to match the new one he'd put on my car Wednesday night...(which was also a bitchfest clusterfuck.)
I'll just tell you...he HATES having to do anything for me! Especially when it comes to my car. I'm not even kidding.
A guy I'm on the board with for Little League took a look at my car one day when we were at the field and told me to go home and tell Mr.Man to wash it and clean it for me.
That comment not only sent me into hysterical laughter but the other two women who were standing there are well. THEY know what Mr.Man is like when it comes to stuff like that.Hell...EVERYONE KNOWS!
On Friday night I decided that I was going to have a fun weekend and I was planning on it including Mr.Man.
So I drove over to the Rite Aid and walked into the store, giving the little boy behind the counter a pleasant smile. Then I walked into the liquor isle and picked out a half gallon of vodka. Then I made my way over to the condoms and chose an economy sized box of the ultra thins...
I walked up to the counter and set them in front of the little boy working there. Then I winked at him.
He blushed from the roots of his hair to the tips of his toes.
He couldn't look me in the eye and he stammered out every question..."Crrree-credit or deebbb-debit?"
HAHAHAHA! Poor kid. I guess if I'd been a decent kind of woman, I'd have thrown some other things in there like cold cream and dish detergent, but really...why buy shit you don't need just to make other people less uncomfortable? I only needed vodka and condoms...why buy anything else?
Of course it goes without saying that the box of condoms sits unopened and the half gallon of vodka has a substantial portion of it missing...
Mr.Man got me up early Sunday morning too. THAT really pissed me off.
He came into the bedroom and poked me in the asshole with his finger.
I mean, come on here! If you're going to poke me with something to wake me up, make it something fun, dammit!
OK...so I'm just bitchy because I stayed busy the whole weekend...got tires put on my car...cleaned the house...worked at the ball field...ran the kids...and didn't get into bed until after eleven every night.
Meh....
I did have a good time watching the Trailer Park Boys yesterday on YouTube. I watched the Phil Collins ones and laughed my ass off. This show absolutely wears me out. I laugh and laugh and laugh when I watch it.
"The Dirty Burger"...and his sonic belching had me in stitches.
I am SO crude...
Today I will be depositing Miss KIA back to camp. Last week she was a camper. This week she will be a counselor. It's a funny thing but when she's not here, things are so much quieter. I don't feel nearly as inept or stupid and the house stays somewhat calm.
My life isn't threatened daily as well...Normally this is how she greets me each morning...
Miss KIA...I love that child...the questions is...does she love me?
I think it's my lack of structure that bothers her...hell it's my lack of organization...responsibility...seriousness...etc...
It's because I'm not OCD that makes her think I'm the enemy. She just doesn't understand me. We come from two different planets...
I have to get off here. There is a crisis. A girl fight is growing out of control...It's over make-up or earrings or some crap like that...
I gotta go...
NO COMMENTS?
ReplyDeleteThat's just wrong, so here's one.
Hope that everything's much calmer now, and that the box of rubbers is opened and half-empty.
The Evil Twin wouldn't know a rubber if it jumped up and bit him. LOL. Also, y'all need to come hang out with us sometime. The Evil Twin does *everything* for me.
ReplyDeleteMy lord Mr Man needs to see a doctor. Some people don't know how good they've got things. Don't worry about KIA, I think all children do that and a little later after some more experience in the real world (different than intelligence) they realize what you did for them and appreciate you.
ReplyDeleteI'll wash your car for ya. Might even do it nakid...
ReplyDeleteMy Superman's very bad when it comes to having to do anything off of his normal routine. I had to take the car in to get a tire puncture fixed. The guy took one look at the tire and started cracking up. "Did he try to fix it with gum??" Turns out he just marked the hole where the nail went through with his gum. He's not so handy so I just wasn't sure. Funny.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite "made ya blink" purchase was one of the giant ecomony box of tampons, seventeen Hershey bars, and a very large butcher knife.
ReplyDeleteYeah girl fight, those are popular on You Tube too.
ReplyDeleteThe difference between The Blonde Goddess and any Hispanic wife (like mine): My wife would physically kill me with a butcher knife (then eat the seventeen Hershey bars) as I lay on the floor, if I tried some of that stuff.
ReplyDeleteGranted, she does have to prod me from time to time to do things, but technically speaking, I'm the perfect husband. Just ask anyone - except for my wife, of course!