Thursday, June 19, 2008

I am cheap but still top quality....

Ok.
So this is the LATE update I promised. I wouldn't have imagined that it would be almost midnight but you know...at least I'm here.

Those bastards at the field worked me like a cheap whore. When I got home tonight I was sticky in places that I've never been sticky before...(and we're talking about me here so that's pretty bad.)

What did they have me doing, you ask?

I was making slushies.

Yep...that's me. The Slushie Queen...

The kids go WILD over those things. It's like a brain freeze sugar rush and they thrive on it.
As if they're not wild enough already.

Then there are the mommies who look like they've been dragged behind the car all the way to the field who ask me in a hushed voice...."Do you have anything "special" you can put in there?"
Of course I can't but I sure as hell would love to...not only for their benefit but mine too.

A few curious dad's wander over to my table as well and ask me stupid questions like, "When you drink one of those does it make your nipples hard?" and " Do you like it when the blenders make the table vibrate?"

WTF?

You're at your kid's ball game for fuck's sake!!! Get the hell away from me you perv!!!

Dumbasses...

Anyway...the ball field and the people responsible held me hostage all day...keeping me from all of you.

I WILL return tomorrow...and with pictures. As for tonight's post...I'm too pooped and sticky to give a shit...

See ya tomorrow!!! LUVS!!!
Posted by at

10 comments:

  1. Warped Mind of RonJune 20, 2008 at 5:11 AM

    But you never answered the questions!! Do slushies make your nipples hard? Inquiring minds want to know. I think I already have a good idea about the vibrating table so no need to answer that one :)

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  2. leeannJune 20, 2008 at 6:46 AM

    I don't think it's the pooped and sticky you mind as much as the way you got that way.
    How many ways can I say way?
    Way too many.
    Way.
    Okay, yeah, I need coffee.

    ReplyDelete
  3. TonyJune 20, 2008 at 7:58 AM

    I have spent way too many hours on this blog today. Hell, I've gotta add it to the Bonez LinX list just so I can come back and keep indulging myself with such creative insanity. Dank u wel!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Evil Twin's WifeJune 20, 2008 at 8:54 AM

    Hurry up and post something today so I can have closure. You do want me to be happy, right?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Blonde GoddessJune 20, 2008 at 9:16 AM

    Ron: Yes...yes they do but I'm warning you...if you let the word out, we'll have men lined up for half a mile and there will be a freaking media circus because some damn retards will want to bring their camcorders and try to get a nippy shot...

    LeeAnn: Yeah...getting pooped and sticky is so BORING when you have clothes on.

    Tony: Welcome! I will be checking YOUR blogs out more extensively when I get some free time this weekend.(yes, the slushie whore will be allowed a few moments here and there to rest.)I liked what I read so far and I'm happy you introduced yourself today.

    ETW: Er...most people need a coffee fix or something but a Blonde Goddess fix? HAHAHAHA....I love you! You're good for my ego woman!

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  6. Warped Mind of RonJune 20, 2008 at 10:22 AM

    Oh... (Putting Camcorder down and dropping car keys) yeah, um... some retard would probably want to film it... yeah that would be bad...

    ReplyDelete
  7. tiffJune 20, 2008 at 11:04 AM

    I cannot believe them mens, asking you those kinds of things. Holeee shit.

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  8. Malach the MercilessJune 20, 2008 at 11:37 AM

    Wow, all I ever get is "Dude, just you just spit in my Slushie?"

    ReplyDelete
  9. Malicious IntentJune 20, 2008 at 12:24 PM

    I was going to ask the same thing Ron asked. Guess I better not ask that then or I might get in trouble.

    ReplyDelete
  10. brendalove@gmail.comJune 20, 2008 at 6:55 PM

    Yep, let a man get a few slushies in him, and his inner perv starts stirring every time!

    ReplyDelete

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