Monday, June 1, 2009

My freakazoid neighbors!

Sometimes I do things just to get a reaction.
I'm not sure why this is, but I chalk it up to getting bored easily.
For example, when I'm in the check out line I look at the cashier and do this...



And I KEEP doing it.
For some odd reason it seems to bother them. Especially if they're older than me. I don't get it. I mean, don't people like it when other people smile at them anymore?

God...get a grip people!

This morning some asshole with Ohio plates rode my ass even though I was doing 60 in a 55 zone.
That is so fucking annoying.
So what did I do?
I slowed down to 45 when he couldn't pass and did this...


"WHEEEE!"

He seemed to get VERY upset because I was having a good time!
What a PRICK!

This past weekend was good.
Mr.Man and I did Boinga Boinga twice on Sunday and it was FINE!
Boinga Boinga always makes me less bitchy and so much happier. I can't help it. I know I can always take care of that myself but rubbing my body against Mr.Man and just tasting him and touching him and smelling him...oh yeah...SO much better!


"BOINGA BOINGA!"

Speaking of Boinga Boinga...Mr.Man spoke to the neighbors.
You know...



Yeah...them.
Anyway it seems that this couple met in church.
Great!
Like I need any more Jesus Police living on my street.
I guess it explains why they come in and out the back door so much. It's like they make a mad dash from the garage to the house so they aren't seen.
I saw this happen once when I was out back gardening...



They didn't even stop to talk to me.
Fucking weirdos.

OK...so anyhow Mr.Man talked to them and the guy is like our age...but his wife is like in her early 20s.
So I have decided to call them "Pedi" short for pedophile and "Moana"..well I'm sure you get that.

I'm an evil bitch ain't I?

Yeah...I think that Pedi spies on us too. I saw him looking through the blinds at us when we had friends over the other day for a few drinks.
I bet they don't touch the stuff.
Whatever...we had some drinks and then danced a little....



Like they've never seen intoxicated people dance before.
My neighbors are fucking kooks I swear.

So why do I get all the weird neighbors?
How come none of them are normal like me?

Well...I need to get busy.
There's all that damn housewifery stuff that needs done and Little Beatle has a banquet tonight. I have to make shit for it. On the bright side of things Tonto aka Jowl Woman and the Lone Ranger will be there so I'll have someone to make fun of.


"The Blonde Goddess is pointing and laughing at us! Do something Lone Ranger!"

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET THE LONE RANGER WEAR HIS HAT TONIGHT!
There was a concert for the kiddos Friday night and he didn't wear it. I was so disappointed.

Hehehehehehe....

I'll see ya tomorrow.

12 comments:

  1. I would have no problems with you guys dancing and gardening if I was your neighbor.

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  2. All my neighbors do is cook meth and scream at each other. I would SO love to live next door to you!

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  3. I totally feel you about the people riding your ass thing... theres a highway in az right now where people get pissed if your not going like 85 when the speed limit is 55 cause of construction.

    Hope your having a good week- seems like you are so far. yay for boinga boinga. :)

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  4. Congrats on getting laid twice on Sunday!

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  5. Thank GOD for boinga boinga! You seem like you are in a MUCH better mood! ;)

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  6. I had so much post marriage sex this weekend that I am walking funny today. Jealous?

    I love marriage....

    I wanna be your neighbor too! I could totally give you blog fodder.

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  7. We are the weird neighbors, but more your run of the mill Adams Family variety. Having a new pool put in on Wednesday, digging equipment coming in, moving 4 tons of dirt...at least that is what our story is.

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  8. Nooooo... about gardening nekkid.

    ...the dirt and soil and fertilizer and fireants and locusts...

    *shudders*

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  9. church people screw?

    NoooOOOOOOOooooo!!!

    ;)

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  10. Unfortunately/ fortunately, I live just remotely enough that my naked gardening exploits cannot be photographed by my neighbors. It sounds kinky. Oh well, there's always Google Earth.

    Keep on keeping us aprised of your sex/ horniness- status, because some of us marrieds ain't gettin' any enough, and need the reminders of what it's like, in the grand tradition of TMI™, you know.

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  11. Do you know if everyone was normal like you the world would be so much more fun! Time to go drive slow & sing loud...LOL!

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