As you all know, I've been neglecting my blog to clean.
Yes...it's crazy but true.
I guess I just reached a point in my life where I decided I was tired of the disorganization and clutter.
Of course it helped motivate me when I leaned over on the floor in the hallway to reach beneath the hall tree and when I stood up, my boobs were covered in cat hair which was held in place by blobs of jelly.
I kind of had a meltdown.
Now I'm not exactly accusing my children of being pigs but when I say I live with the big bad wolf and the three little pigs, I am referring to them.
Mr.Man aka Big Bad Wolf just huffs and puffs and blows threats in the direction of the children.
The children aka The Three Little Pigs, put up their brick wall of indifference and continue to live a slovenly life.
"My family...how I love them."
I don't usually say much about it all.
I'm pretty laid back and easy going....definitely not a nag.
BUT the hairy jelly boobs REALLY pissed me off for some reason and I tore through the house on a rant to end all rants.
They have all stayed out of my way this week AND picked up after themselves.
Little Beatle said my eyes were bugging out of my head at least a good three inches. He was worried they wouldn't retract when I stopped yelling.
"IF YOU GUYS DON'T START PICKING UP AFTER YOURSELVES I WILL KILL SOMEBODY!"
I don't get mad very often but when I do...look out!
I started to clean the bathroom closets this morning.
There are two of them and they are the most impractical closets in the world.
The side closet is only 16 inches wide but runs the entire length of the wall behind the shower.
HOW THE HELL IS SOMEONE SUPPOSED TO STORE ANYTHING IN A CLOSET LIKE THAT?
"I never had any problems storing things in that closet."
I hit my head a grand total of six times before I threw a cussing fit and decided I needed to sit down because I think I gave myself a concussion.
My bathroom used to be a bedroom and sometime in the 50's, they converted it into a bathroom...thus the practically unusable closet.
I'm thinking that storage boxes with some kind of handle on the end will work.
I just needed to almost knock myself unconscious to figure that out.
Mr.Man and I watcher Pedi mow the lawn yesterday.
He is very methodical.
I've never seen someone mow the lawn quite like he does.
You could almost measure the distance perfectly between his rows of cut grass. It was quite a show.
He had headphones on so Mr.Man and I were speculating on what he might be listening to.
Mr.Man suggested that it might be something religious.
I said it was probably an instructional tape on how to safely obliterate your neighbors and their home without damaging your own.
Mr.Man agreed that I was probably right.
"First I will mow the lawn and then I'll blow up the neighbor's house, then I will ride Moana in celebration."
God...that visual causes me to want to drink.
Can you drink when you have a concussion?
Eh...I feel better. I don't think there's anything wrong with me...except for the hairy boobs.
Speaking of boobs...Mr.Man grabbed me and put my boob in his mouth yesterday. It left a wet spot on my shirt.
I didn't give it much thought and raced out of the house to bring Veggie Stick to Frowies.
We stopped at the grocery store to get apple juice for him.
I kept getting these "looks".
So I asked Veggie Stick, "Do I have two heads or what?"
She shrugged and said, "I don't know."
When I got in the car, I glanced in the mirror and noticed the HUGE wet spot on my right breast where Mr.Man's mouth had been.
I need a t-shirt that says that and then I can pull that wet boob look off anytime.
Mr.Man would like that...hehehehe
I have to get busy. I'll be back...