Yep...I'm taking a road trip!
It's that time of the year again when I pack up Veggie Stick and sometimes Little Beatle and we head out of town for a few fun filled weekends full of "spantastic" excitement.
So yeah, there will be heavy drinking when I get back to the hotel room.
It's not that I really mind all the frilly dilly business.
In fact I enjoy it most of the time and love the fact that my kids are involved in something wholesome...
BUT, there are times when I REALLY feel like if I hear one more teen-aged girl sing "One Night Only" I'm going to smack my head on the floor until I pass out.
They only have one night? How much will that cost ya, huh?
Mr.Man loves a lot of metro-sexual crap like shopping and matchy-matchy clothes and things like that but he can't STAND these trips and leaves me to handle these things all alone.
Yay, fucking yay...
So I will get to travel to exotic places like Truck stops and rest areas that have no toilet paper and then, as if that's not enough to fill me with anticipation, I will also be able to eat at some of the finest restaurants like Steak and Shake and Taco Bell and Arby's while waiting three hours to be served because the place is PACKED with the nine KABILLION people I'm traveling with!!!
This IS the bus of terror! Submit to our will or be subjected to tight spandex clad teen-agers singing suggestive songs while dancing and sweating pancake make-up off their zit covered faces!
BEWARE!!!!
God help me.
The things I do for my children.
I'm the BEST damn mother in the universe!!!
Shut up...I am....
Keep this in mind folks when I'm sitting in an auditorium, watching the shows and there are five groups in a row who's choir is singing Queen's "Another one bites the dust".
Do ALL the choir directors own this fucking album or what?
Ok. That's enough bitching for now. I have to get my ass out the door....
Er...I'm excited, ok?
Alright...maybe I need to work on that but I'm going anyway. Be back Monday...
Awww hon . . .
ReplyDeleteA few beers on the bus should take care of all that.
Good luck with the trip and may you even have fun mixed in with all that safety stuff.
ReplyDeleteYou need one of those hats the guys wear at football games, with tubes running to your mouth holding copious amounts of beer. You could fill it with tequila, right? No one would ever know.....LOL
ReplyDeleteI will meet you ladies somewhere in New Mexico on Sunday.
ReplyDeleteJust found your blog today and I like your style. If I interpret it correctly, your kids sing in a choir? I'm there with you on the traveling and pomp and circumstance stuff as I have 3 marching band geeks myself. All for the kids, right? Isn't that what we're supposed to say?
ReplyDeleteSeriously, have fun and I look forward to reading you regularly.
FMD
Stop being soooooo fabulous!
ReplyDeleteAfter reading that, I have the same strong urge to smack my head into the floor till I pass out.
ReplyDeleteGoddess bless you (oh wait, that is like blessing yourself, isn't it?) Ok, toaster bless you. You are a good mother. Hell anyone who lets their children continue to live on a daily basis is a good mother, but you go above and beyond the call of duty.
May the force be with you, and the aqua net hairspray.
You are living the life. Don't forget to pack some meds like aspirin, pepto bismol, and valium.
ReplyDeleteThe things you do for motherhood, eh?
ReplyDeleteThanks to the powers that be...I Had Sons!
Thing very strong drugs...opiates will work. I'm so glad I am done with those days, but satisfied knowing there are conscientious parents such as yourself taking the reins. :)
ReplyDelete