I'm pretty self sufficient and honestly enjoy being that way.
But dammit, when I look around and see all the fun other people are having and all the interaction they have with interesting non-crazy people, I feel like I'm missing out!
"I am hypnotizing you with my powers....you will do what I want..."
I have a list of my demands.
1. I need a different lay out. Dr.Zibbs asked for volunteers to submit a new header for his blog and he got it! Just like that! So that's what I want. I want a new fancy smancy header...
"This is not a fancy smancy one..."
2. I want more followers. No wait...I'm changing my mind about that one. I think I'm happy to be primarily stalked anonymously. I have a lot more readers than followers and I believe it's because I'm everyone's "dirty little secret." My blog is embarrassing and very few want to admit to reading it. Plus I'm insane and I don't show any body parts on it. Very boring and very odd. I wouldn't claim it either.
"The Blonde Goddess is just too weird for me...er...us.I can't allow other people to find out I...we read her blog."
3. I think I need a t-shirt. It would have a picture of me on the front with the eyes cut out of it where the boobies go. The boobies would double as eyes and everyone would be happy...especially me. The holes could also be a metaphor for my nipples of death and all who wore the shirts would wear them with reverence for my super powers.
"A shirt like this one except my face instead of Sponge Bob's. SHUT UP! I know he's cuter than me but it's supposed to be MY fucking shirt!!!"
4. I need music on this damn blog...I think. I would like to have mood music for people to optionally listen to as they're reading. Hell..I'd like the option. I don't want those annoying play list things that play fifty songs in a row though and I definitely want people to have the option to either turn it on or off. Those ones are the best.
"Mood music would be nice, dontcha think?"
5. I would enjoy an occasional picture of some guys hands or mouths. Yes...I am a hands and mouth kind of girl. Why the hell can't I get some dudes to send me pictures of their sexy hands? And why, OH WHY, am I not allowed to view the lushess lips of a manly man once in awhile? It fucking pisses me off.
"DO NOT send me some mamby pamby ass mouth picture like this one...hell no!"
6. I want comments. Yes...comments with pictures of manly hands and mouths. And headline submissions. Yep...damnit. Is that so much to ask?
"She wants comments! HAHAHAHA! How about, "You're a fucking nut!"
Anyway...that's what I want.
I will write a "T" poem but I have to be in the mood for it. These things can't be worked on...they have to just happen like the "P" poem. I suck at planning that kind of shit. It's spontaneous or nothing.
Give me what I want....
"PLEASE?"
That is all...end transmission.
Here's your damn comment.
ReplyDeleteHappy?
Jesus.
And I don't recall you using the picture of my mouth up there without my expressed, written consent.
My lawyers will be in touch.
That's a lie. I can't afford lawyers.
By the way, I AM following you.
Look in your backyard. That's me waving from the bushes.
WHOOO HOOO! I have a comment and it's from someone who's following me!
ReplyDeleteI won't post the mouth picture but could you send me some hand shots? I'm twisted like that.
AND I need a new header.
And music...
I think that covers it.
Now I am happy! Thanks Moog!!!
Following AND commenting. Boo yah.
ReplyDeleteI aim to please.
That's what she said.
I do follow you - and I comment often as well. Can't help you with the header - I had to barter sexual favors to get the Evil Twin to do mine. LOL.
ReplyDeleteI am a lurker and a follower, but I refuse to comment. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteI need a new header too. I wonder if I can barter sexual favors with ETW's husband. I can send you pictures of my hands, but I don't think chubby chewed on fingernails do it fer ya.
ReplyDeleteI can help you out with the comment part. Not sure about the other stuff. Oh yeah! I can follow you too!
ReplyDeleteI feel so good being a good samaritan!
here's a sexxxy mouth:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.dogbreedinfo.com/images22/BrunoBoxer1Year3MonthsSLOBBER2.jpg
and sexy hands:
http://www.walyou.com/img/robot-muscles-hand-movement-2.jpg
I already follow you and comment as often as possible.
ReplyDeleteI will try to round up random photos of male hands and mouths. My friends will just have to assume I've suddenly 'forgotten' how to take pictures.
Check pandora.com to see if they have a music 'widget' that you could upload to your blog.
I can't help you with the header, though. Sorry.
I follow and comment, also, damn it! If I had a penis, which I don't, I would send you pictures of my mouth and hands. But since I am female they would not do it for you, since we all know that you do not swing that way.
ReplyDeleteAs far as a new header, I will work on it.
As far as music, I can only make suggestions.
Is any of this good enough for you, Goddess? Or do you need sweat too?
Your pix are priceless.
ReplyDeleteGimme, Gimme, Gimme! I'm gonna give you something alright... don't get too excited, I'm giving you a comment LOL
ReplyDeleteI too need a creative new header!
Careful what you wish for, you might get a hand pic of a grease monkey with dirty finger nails or one with finger nails chewed off all the way down to the quick!
D'oh!!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm one of your Anonymous lurkers!!!
ReplyDeleteSincerely,
Pwn Star
Actually I am not well equipped to be high maintenance.
ReplyDeleteI'm actually kind of embarrassed about this whole post.
How DARE I beg for comments and followers and a specially designed header and help with music....
I'm so ashamed.
Malach! I PROMISE TO CHANGE MY EVIL WAYS!
Oh hell Malach, like you got room to talk!
ReplyDelete1."interesting non-crazy people" That is an oxy-moron darling. You never see "non-crazy" and "interesting" people as the same person. They are either non-crazy (boring) or interesting (crazy.)
2. What kind of fancy are you looking for? Lady GaGa fancy or Walt Disney Princess fancy?
3.Stalked anonymously is the way to go. However, I have you blatantly listed on my blog roll, cause I don't give a crap. Hope yer OK with dat.
4. t-shirt: www.cafepress.com. have fun.
5. Music: http://www.myflashfetish.com/
You can pick the player, the colors, the settings (auto play, turn on, shuffle, pick the songs etc..) Super easy to use and update.
6. Photos of men? Google. Lie where you got them. By the why, who the fuck let Mooooog in???? I have better pictures of him in a an entirely to large Harley Davidson thong.
7. Cannot help you with the comments. Other than posting this comment that is more of a post. Your Welcome!
I'm thinking that I need spongebob's knockers...
ReplyDeleteHow can you get what you want if you don't ask??
ReplyDeleteNow I want all that stuff too!
Since you have sunk to the level of groveling - here's your comment damnit!!!
ReplyDeleteYes, you seem to be needy, but at least it is not a costly event. I would consider negotiating with ETW's spouse about a new header - he did an excellent job on that one.
Just an aside - your site is not embarrassing at all. You have the guts to say it all - like many only say in closets. :)
good
ReplyDeleteI will send you pics of my hands. God knows where they will be though...
ReplyDeleteI try to get you more readers by telling my friends "here's the blog of the chick that diddles herself a lot".
ReplyDeleteI hope it's working.
Dude. You've already got 25 comments just by asking for them. You should have asked for cash.
ReplyDeleteYou get more comments in 5 minutes than I get all week. And you have nearly twice as many followers as me, too. Argh!
ReplyDeleteI don't have any pictures of my hands. All I have are photos of my junk. If only you wanted those instead.