Balls on fire, sinner red and the hungry kitty....

So I totally whored myself out in my last post and I feel cheap.
I would have preferred to feel orgasmic or intoxicated but NO! I got to feel cheap and somewhat embarrassed instead.
Goddamnit!


"Face it dahling! You're a blog whore and you've stooped to being an attention slut!"


NO! NO I'M NOT!
I am so ashamed...
Meh...I'll live. And just for the the record, I'm not high maintenance like Malach said....

Imagine my delight yesterday when I stepped out into the back yard and saw old Moana outside. She was walking through her backyard, sporting tightly curled pig tails and stretchy pants.
She turned her back to me and then bent over to pick up something.
That's when her pants split along the crack of her ass revealing her "I've been saved and I'm going home to Jesus" white as snow panties.
(I made a mental note to wear a hot pink thong the next time I got in a "mood" and decided to get drunk in the backyard and undress.)
She stood up and walked into her house, never turning around to see if I was still there or not. I used the opportunity to go inside so she wouldn't see that I'd witnessed her disgrace.

I only appear to be a bitch.
I'm not actually one...or at least I try not to be.

Of course I just got a mental picture of her in a devilish red ensemble and I think the angelic white is better...


"Moana decided to surprise Pedi with her new "Sinner Red" lingerie."

Umm....ok.
You now know the visual that will accompany the moaning I hear from next door the next time it happens.

Yesterday I was waiting at the pharmacy for a prescription. I sat down across from another lady and picked up a magazine.
Then the SMELL hit me.
It was enough to make my eyes water.
Imagine a can of rotting sardines mixed with a shit sandwich and you're almost close to the nasty odor that tormented me.
Then all of the sudden, the smell went away.
JUST LIKE THAT!
Then a few minutes later it came back...JUST LIKE THAT!
WTF?
I looked around and wondered what the fuck was going on.
That's when I noticed the woman across from me uncrossing her legs and leaning back with them open.
INSTANT ODOR! GAG!
She crossed her legs...no odor...
I wanted to say something to her, but because I'm so fucking nice, I decided to wait until I could blog about it instead.

I mean...maybe she had something wrong with her "meow meow meow" and was there to get some medication for it.


"I ate some fish but that shit sandwich really fucked me up!"

Yeah...maybe a vinegar and water mixer would have helped you out there miss "meow meow meow". My kitty gets one once in awhile, you know?

The Little Beatle has poison ivy and it's spread to his balls.
While I can't help but chuckle,I do feel bad for him.
He's laying in bed with his legs spread underneath a sheet trying to air them out and keep it cool.
The other night when he discovered it had spread there, he put the same lotion on that we'd bought for him to put on the rest of his poison ivy. It's a special mixture one of the local pharmacies makes and not only does it stop the itching but it dries it up too.
That wasn't a good idea apparently, since there is menthol in it and it set his balls on FIRE!


"Great balls on fire!"

I woke up to the sound of him squealing and water running in the tub.
Let's just say that we got him something from the doctor yesterday to help him out. I'm sure he'll be fine in no time at all...

Well anyway, I have got to get off here. The whole post reminded me that it's time to give my "kitty" a refreshing vinegar mixer and a haircut. It is swimsuit season after all.

Have a great weekend!