Friday, June 12, 2009

Crazy cat claws calf of constipated caretaker...

My cat is one of the most bizarre creatures to walk the face of the earth.
I think he has a problem with poop.
I'm not even lying.

EVERY time I sit on the toilet to poop and he's in the bathroom he insists on biting my feet JUST AS MR.DOODIE IS PEEKING OUT (if you know what I mean...)
Talk about a mood killer.
Mr.Doodie slides back into the cave of odors and won't come back out.
Then that damn cat will roll onto his back and fall asleep instantly, as though he's exhausted from saving the universe or something.

Stupid cat...


"I am the defender of the universe and nothing foul shall pass into my domain as long as I am on the job!"

I've been having some trouble sleeping lately so I've been staying up late and reading.
Last night I got on the computer to check something before I went to bed. I caught a flicker of light out of the corner of my eye. So I looked outside toward Moana and Pedi's house. I had a perfect view of their bedroom television. Imagine my horror?/delight? when I saw some dude pouring it to some naked chick on her hands and knees.
Porno?
At the Jesus Police house?



I wonder where THEY go to church?
Hell...I don't even watch porn and you all know how bad I am...(according to the Jesus Police anyway..)

Hmmm....

OK..so once again I need to remind you that if you don't see your name on my blog roll and it was there before, DON'T worry. It's been a hell of a week and I'm still working on it. If you haven't commented this week to leave me a link, leave one if you'd like to make my job easier. I'd appreciate it.

If you get bored, then you can always go back in my archives to last summer to learn more about my family or you can search for Helly or Spock and that should take you to something to read about my friends and our mischievous ways.

I've got to get off here and take a shower.
Mr.Man and I had so much fun going out yesterday that we're going out again today!

Have a good weekend!
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20 comments:

  1. *Just Jen*June 12, 2009 at 8:31 AM

    HA! Porn at the Jesus Police house? Who woulda THUNK?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ms.Barbara JaneJune 12, 2009 at 9:47 AM

    Why am I not surprised. I wonder what else they get up to?
    By the way http://letmeaxeyousomthin.blogspot.com/
    I liked being on your blogroll :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mango GirlJune 12, 2009 at 10:02 AM

    total hypocrites ~ jesus police are the WORSE!!

    Maybe you could send them some KY as a neighborly gesture? You know, sort of like an olive branch.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Evil Twin's WifeJune 12, 2009 at 10:16 AM

    I think the next time you see them, you should mention that they might want to think about getting blinds or something. Just say, "I'd hate for one of my kids to catch a glimpse of YOUR viewing preferences!" LOL!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. tiffJune 12, 2009 at 10:56 AM

    Jesus people do porn...nothing wrong with it as long as you're schtupping the spousal unit thereafter. ;) No going outside the marital bed to get your schwerve on though. THAT much is a no-no!

    Of course, if they're busy CONDEMING it in publick while enjoying in private, then they should be called on as hypocrites, right on the spot. With Titles and all.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Warped Mind of RonJune 12, 2009 at 11:15 AM

    I love porn, but only for the complex and entertaining story lines.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Malach the MercilessJune 12, 2009 at 6:28 PM

    I like Kittie Porn.

    ReplyDelete
  8. otinJune 12, 2009 at 7:24 PM

    nothing worse than a retracting poop!

    ReplyDelete
  9. BuzzardbillyJune 13, 2009 at 2:08 AM

    I'm with Otin on the Mr. Dumper's Hasty Retreat. I fucking hate that. Really, I think your cat is not trying to save the universe. I think he wants you to strain like Elvis, baby. I'd watch that cat. They're crafty.

    And...you say that like there's summin wrong wif da pr0n. LMAO that it's porn from the Jesus house. Maybe you can get em some nice new trucker porn from a big truck stop for Christmas. Don't sign it. Just leave it on the stoop marked "personal and confidential" to one or the other God-botherers and wait to see if it shows up on their tube through the window.

    Wait. Maybe that last part isn't such a good idea.

    ReplyDelete
  10. DaveJune 13, 2009 at 6:43 AM

    I would not be able to contain myself (Regarding the Jesus Porn - not the cat and the poop). I'd be doing a stake-out every night with a video camera waiting for a chance to catch the view from my house, into their window and their porn on their TV.

    Then, that video would sit there waiting and waiting and waiting until the right time that they said something really stupid. Then, out comes the tape.

    Then I would get a camera and take a picture of their faces when they pop in the tape and know that you know they are evil porn watchers. Not that there is anything evil about watching porn, just being hypocrites.

    ReplyDelete
  11. ColletteJune 13, 2009 at 12:14 PM

    I really wish I didn't know that Moana & Pedi were watching porn. Now, I have that awful pic in my mind of Moana in the BIG, red lingerie! ARGH! Mind bleach, please!
    I just love that things are getting back to "normal" around here! Have fun with Mr. Man tonite! heh heh

    ReplyDelete
  12. Freida Bee, MDJune 13, 2009 at 1:55 PM

    My mother and step-father are getting divorced after 30 years of marriage, and my mother had been living in another city for a couple months before she went back to their house to stay a bit. When my mother, the petitest woman ever, started to change the sheets on their bed, a pair of GIANT women's underwear fell out of the covers onto the floor.

    This reminded me of that.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Dave To YouJune 13, 2009 at 8:20 PM

    Sounds like you leave the door open. Yep...I'm married too. Jane The Cat comes in to hang out and have her belly rubbed. Not too sure about the timing of all that but...there you go.

    Jehovah's Nitwits procreate and I'm sure they need some kind of incentive. Ever meet one in a bar? Ever meet one you'd wanna....mmmm.....never mind.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Dave To YouJune 14, 2009 at 10:24 AM

    Hey...just a side not here if I may..So what's the latest on 'ghost boy'? That story you wrote a while back still sitcks with me. Very cool story!! I really like stuff like that, especially from people (like you) I can believe. Just wondering...no biggie.
    Happy weekend BG..-d

    ReplyDelete
  15. InannaJune 14, 2009 at 8:02 PM

    I'm leaving a comment so I can be on your blogroll. LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  16. namasteJune 14, 2009 at 9:08 PM

    whoah! i love seeing real life stuff like that!- your neighbors. that is such good writing fodder!

    ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  17. MikeJune 15, 2009 at 5:28 AM

    I like your cat.

    When I take over the planet, I won't make him into chinese food.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Dave To YouJune 15, 2009 at 8:44 AM

    Please don't add me to your blog roll. I don't write enough (well kinda but nothing anyone cares too much about). Just glad to see you're back in the box and swinging for the fence. I'll be over here in the dugout trying to avoid the managers glare.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Becky..AMHWJune 15, 2009 at 10:47 AM

    The churchy folk are always the most prolific porn watchers.

    I once found the porno account of a person I knew once who by all accounts I'd heard was still quite devout. Kinky bastard.

    ReplyDelete
  20. themomJune 16, 2009 at 5:54 AM

    I'm catching up on all I've missed on the blogs, while on vacation. Thank you for my laugh to start the day. I am loving your new design work here!

    ReplyDelete

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