In honor of hump day I will share a few of my toys...

IN honor of hump day, I am going to give you all a heads up (sorry guys...couldn't resist the play on words) on how the Goddess here survives her stressful life.

That's right.

"OH Blonde Goddess, however do you manage to keep from going on a homicidal rampage with the stressful life you lead?"



Fuckin A man...this is how I have managed to avoid prison lesbian sex.
Without my box of relaxation, I would have murdered a bus load of fat bitches or elderly hellions a LONG FUCKING time ago!

Yeah...whatever.
Some people eat or take medication or see a therapist for stress.
I MASTURBATE!
WHOO!
GO ME!

Of course on the occasion I can restrain Mr.Man, he is subjected to my sordid imagination.

Poor guy. He has it SOOOO rough.

Anyway...let's begin, shall we?

Some chicks love clitoral stimulation and that's all it takes to rock their world.
Me, on the other hand, enjoys everything being stimulated and is not partial just to the clitoral area.
I mean, after a while, all that vibrating and rubbing has your clitoris swollen and throbbing like a smashed thumb.
That does NOT feel good.
So I like to mix things up a little bit.

I do have a rabbit but believe it or not, it is not my favorite toy and I don't use it that much.

Yes, it is an excellent vibrator.The dildo is a good size and it rotates, which I like because it simulates me grinding my hips in a circle, which I enjoy tremendously when I am on top, BUT...the entire experience doesn't last long enough and the vibrator seems to be a little on the harsh side. Maybe this is not the case for other women and I just have a super-sensitive little clitoris, but I get that smashed thumb feeling if I use this toy too often.

If I'm really in the mood for the rabbit but can't take the intense vibrating, I go with my sugar spoon.

The vibrating clitoral stimulator is soft, gentle and moves rhythmically with the spoon part...which stimulates the "G" spot. I like it because I don't feel like I'm riding a jackhammer and going from "meh..this is ok " to "my vagina just exploded!" in less than a minute (which is what I get from the rabbit sometimes.)

Sometimes I just like to let my fingers do the walking.
On those occasions, I like this little package of fun.

This is a little bullet vibrator with assorted sleeves. The sleeves are soft gel and ribbed or covered with ticklers. I use the sleeves alone or on the vibrating bullet. It is a soft touch and believe me, that's what I like!

When I want some clitoral stimulation AND vaginal penetration, I use this dildo.

Honestly I got this as a gag gift.
But I opened it up and tried it out.
Gotta be honest...it doesn't even pay to put the batteries in the damn thing. I got NOTHING out of that little beaky part that's supposed to vibrate.
But I REALLY LIKE the way the dildo part feels.
It went from being a gag gift to my most favorite toy.
It feels soft and firm and to me, represents the most accurate simulation of having a real penis inside you.
I love it!
I sometimes place this little baby on it and have a nice long, relaxation session...


Gosh...get a bottle of lube and a cock ring and you can have SO MUCH FUN!

I think cock rings are not appreciated nearly as much as they should be.

Then there's the lube issue.
Most women would have a much more enjoyable experience if they'd just lube themselves up. BUT there's that misconception that if a woman's not dripping wet, she's not turned on or some bullshit garbage like that, so women fall prey to the whole, "If I don't get wet, I must be frigid" lie and won't buy the lube.

I have one thing to say about that...

BUY THE FUCKING LUBRICANT!

This is the Blonde Goddess' favorite kind...

A small dab of this can send you to the moon and back.
I don't know what's in it.
I don't know why it makes it feel so damn good, but I swear I felt like I was having an out of body experience the whole time I was having sex.
And since I'm a multiple orgasmic kind of gal, I had to lie down and recover after it was all over because my legs were shaking too badly to walk.
You should invest in a jar of this...it's fantastic.

The other lubes I've tried?
They're not so great. They make it all slick and slippery which is nice but this Nympho stuff made me INSANE!
I bought this stuff one time that was supposed to "warm" the area and it felt like I had fire ants all OVER DOWN THERE!
I couldn't get that shit washed off fast enough. I think there were ice cubes involved too but that ended up being different and quite pleasurable....

Er...anyway...

Now the next couple of toys might not appeal to everyone but this post is about MY favorite things so I'm just going to go with it...

Yep...anal beads.
I'm an ass freak and that's not for everyone. But the Goddess is an adventerous sort of gal and likes to try new things.
This is one of the things I tried that stuck with me.
I like them and I like using them on Mr.Man too.
I have a generous nature about me, so I like to give as much as I like to receive.

And so, since we're on the topic of giving anyway, I'll show you a little secret the Goddess stumbled upon.

You're probably wondering, "What the hell is that?"
I call it Pinky.
It's a masturbation sleeve for men.
I bought it partially out of curiosity and partially because I'm always looking for new ways to pleasure Mr.Man.
The thought had occurred to me one night after I'd performed oral sex on him while using the anal beads to maximize his orgasm, that if I could find a position that would better allow me to watch everything, I could REALLY rock his world.
That's where Pinky came in.
I used it on him one day and he LOVED it!
So while I still enjoy performing oral sex on him, I use Pinky when I plan to involved the anal beads. That way I can really focus on his pleasure without being distracted.

So...
That's it.
Those are my favorite things.

Er...so now how do I end a post like this?

"Thanks for stopping by?"

"Have a nice day?"

Well this is fucking awkward. I sound like a moron!

Wait...I got it.

"Hope this post helped you to discover something new that you might enjoy."

Now go out there and get it!!!!