I know I'm supposed to tell you all my sex toy secrets, preferences etc...but it's going to have to wait until tomorrow.
Mr.Man is home sick and he's dominating the computer.
He's in the shower right now so I have to hurry.
I just want to ask everyone something first.
When you get sick are you a bitch/bastard?
Do you find it impossible to be nice to people?
Even to people you've inserted objects in their oh-so-willing ass before?
I'm just curious because Mr.Man is being quite the FUCKING ASSHOLE today and I wondered if it's because he's sick or if it's just because he's a GIANT DICK!
I'm going to chop his "manly essence" off and feed it to the dog if he's not careful...
If he wants to keep his "Dick" he'd better smarten the hell up.
You know what he said to me this morning?
DO YOU WANT TO KNOW????
He said, "I think you're crazy and you need psychological help."
So I said, "WHO THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN LIVING WITH FOR THE PAST 18 YEARS?"
I'm in a REAL bad mood right now so that means tomorrow's post should be insanely fantastic.
The more stressed, miserable, anxious, depressed, annoyed, hopeless and out of control I feel, the more over the edge I write.
I call it therapy.
You call it entertainment.
It makes us both happy so that's what's important, no?
See you tomorrow....
Doesn't do any good to be a dick when I'm sick. I can see a person being grumpy and irritable when sick, but not really progressing to the dickly stage.
ReplyDeleteIs he saying you are crazy because of the stuff you are writing in your blog? I really hate it when my guy reads my blog and makes pissy remarks about it. My answer- don't read my blog.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand sick men are a handful alright. I find smothering them with a pillow when they are sleeping is nice. Nice and quiet.
Put some earplugs in and drink heavily. You won't hear a thing, I promise!
ReplyDeleteWhen I am sick, I want to be left alone. But men, they suck ass at being sick. A hangnail could push them over the edge.
ReplyDeleteSorry he is being a dick today...start in quoting lines from Silence of the Lambs and see if he does not shut up.
I think the moon is messsing with us. Mine told me I was crazy yesterday...too bad he is no longer living....teehee! J/K!
I try to be nice even if I'm sick. If I'm in pain, though, all bets are off. Luckily, I have a high threshold for pain.
ReplyDeleteI think all guys are whiny when they're sick. We are definitely the stronger of the two sexes.
If I get any shit from my husband, I tell him, "Hey, dude, you knew what you signed up for when you asked me to marry you". I say avoid the hubby until he's grateful again...
ReplyDeleteOh, I cant wait!!! I hope you havea real shitty day and need lots of therapy, because tomorows schedule looks very boring on this end. LOL-jk
ReplyDeleteI think Men are just naturally dicks, and when they are nice, they just want va-jay-jay.That drives them in every direction. Money=va-jay-jay.Cars=va-jay-jay,etc. When they are sick, tehy are just sick...and the true them peeks out for a second.
Poor Ron! Are you the only man brave enough to comment on this post?
ReplyDeleteI just want to know one thing people....where the hell has Mr.Man been for the last 18 years???
YES! I NEED THERAPY! GODDAMN IT, YES!
I can be a PITA when I'm sick but it's because I just want to be left alone to wallow in my sickness. Wives and girlfriends just seem to want to yak yak yak whenever I'm sick so yes, sometimes I move from grumpy to asshole.
ReplyDeleteIt normally goes like this...
Her:yak,yak,yak, blah, blah, blah.
Me: I'm sick! Would you please leave me alone.
Her: Yak,yak,yak,yak,blah,blah,blah.
Me: Please, I'm sick. Just leave me alnoe!
Her: Yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, yakity, yak, yak, yakity, yak...etc.
Me: OH SHUT THE FUCK UP! cough, gasp, cough. I'm tryin' to sleep here!
Her: Stomps off really pissed off at me because SOMEHOW I'm the bad guy now.
Me a half hour later: Honey? would you please get a....
I can only hope that all the people of the female persuasion bitching about what dicks guys are when we're sick (I take exception to that; I just want to be left alone to take care of myself) aren't the kind of people that are going to get all upset when a guy says something about "women".
ReplyDeleteGoddess, maybe you should invest in a Sybian...
OK Brianf and Dave....I'm listening.
ReplyDeleteHonest to God I am not a bitch when I get sick.
Let me think....
Ok.
I got it.
The only time I've ever yelled at Mr.Man when I've been sick is one time when I said this to him.
"I NEED YOU TO FUCK IT OUT OF ME!"
While I have no desire to go into details about what was wrong with me, that is the only time I've ever yelled at Mr.Man when I have been sick.
What man would complain about that?
HUH?
HUH?
HUH?
Sometimes being sick, especially before a person has figured out that they are sick, does indeed inspire them to become true shitheads.
ReplyDeleteI prefer to be unconscious when I'm sick.
ReplyDeleteChachi is generally over the top, whining and such. However, he had surgery yesterday and (while heavily medicated)asked our friends to help me through the next month, as he can't do a lot (drs orders), and he knew that I was already exhausted.
I like it when he's high on morphine.
i'm a dick when i'm sick. but i'm also a dick when i'm not.
ReplyDeleteso...
you COULD almost get him off.. and then "get a headache" at the most inoportune time. that usually gets me pissed off enough to headbutt a woodchipper..
GET IN THE KITCHEN AND MAKE ME SOME BACON AND EGGS!
ReplyDeleteWe ALL need therapy! Blogging is therapy! Methinks he needs a swift kick in the arse. There's some therapy!
ReplyDelete