Yeah...I chose listening to Air Supply and Reo Speedwagon too...
In comparison, shoving a hedgeghog up my ass would be like eating all the frosting off a cake...
Sometimes I just disturb you, don't I?
Whatever...I'm sick.
In spite of being sick over the last week, I have been given an award....
Malicious Intent gave it to me and said I am the Blond version of her.
(She actually admitted she is like me and she isn't even in an institution!)
I feel loved.
I feel like shit too, but loved shit.
I have pneumonia and I need to rest.
I went to see the doctor and that's what he told me.
"You have pneumonia and you need to rest."
So I asked Dr.Butt Pirate how the fuck he expected me to rest?
Mr.Man has been working over almost every night.
The kids are still needing to be driven to school, practices, etc...
Are you fucking kidding me?
He told me that less cursing would probably make me feel better.
Hmmm....
OK.
So I asked him how in the name of sweet Pete I'm supposed to get any rest. My children, bless their pea picking little hearts,their schedules are very frilly demanding and it really tugs on my zipper when I have no choice but to take care of things on my dumb diddly own.
"What the hell is this? An episode of Mama's Family?"
I DON'T FEEL ANY FUCKING BETTER! I FEEL LIKE A GODDAMN IDIOT WITH ALL THIS FRILLY DILLY PEA PICKING BULLSHIT!
SO...Dr. Butt Pirate gave me A LOT of medication and sent me home.
"Rest when you can, " he said as I left...
The man loves me. There's no doubt in my mind.
My ass will vouch for it.
Yeah...so that's all I've got. I just can't manage anymore. But I did want to thank Malicious for the award and let everyone know what the doctor said. (He said I have a stray hair growing out of my nipple but I didn't know if that would be too much info or not....I don't want to gross anyone out or anything.)
God...let me feel better tomorrow...bleh.
It's time to call in tha favours and get the other parents to drive your kids for a couple of days. I bet they all owe you one.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're still sick. Hope it doesn't last long.
Congrats on your award! Make sure you take your medication and go out and buy a little bell. When you ring that little bell, the kids can wait on Mama for a change.
ReplyDelete(YEAH RIGHT... SNICKER!)
It's worth a try!
Take the medicine and make everyone take care of themselves for a bit. My god they are growing up it's a good test of responsibility for all of them to take the load off you (LOL, I said load) for a few days. And stop teasing me, you know I have a fetish for women with hairy nipples!!!
ReplyDeleteWhatever else you need to do - you need to rest. I have had pneumonia and it put me down quicker and longer than anything ever has. You will not get well without rest. Flat of your back rest. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteOnly one stray hair? You're lucky.
ReplyDeleteYeah I've had pneumonia too and it's time to call in the favors and get yourself some rest or it will hit you harder next time . . . unless you like that kind of thing lol
ReplyDeleteMy pneumonia put me in the hospital for 3 days in early January. takes one helluva long time to get over too. Take the meds - and do as the doctor says - sometimes they can be right!
ReplyDeleteAn ass gal huh?
ReplyDeletePretty funny stuff over at your blog.
Good to see that you're back among the mobile -- whether as a Human Bean, or a Zombie (depending on how much of what meds you've been given and are taking).
ReplyDeleteThough it would be at Great Personal Sacrifice, I hereby offer to remove the offending hair.
Seriously, do what Dr. BP says -- no sense wasting that expensive edumacation he got...
My dear old Granny always says whiskey cures what ails ya. So I vote you drink lots of whiskey and swear twice as much.
ReplyDeleteAnd watch some porn. That's always makes my husband feel better, so it should totally work for you too, since he also has nipple hair.
I hope the meds do their magic and put you on the path to wellness. I know how tough it is to run a household and still find time to rest, but let's put it this way: Get as much rest as you can (and get as much help as you can too!) Call me if you need anything.
ReplyDeleteHeard it from a friend who, heard it from friend who, heard it from another you been messing around!
ReplyDeleteComment Deleted
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
I'm sorry, I just really wanted to type that. Again...
Don't doctors know that cussing is a free and effective form of therapy?
ReplyDeleteI do it all the time, otherwise I would go bat shit fucking crazy.
I also love how doctors feel they can wave their magical stethoscope and your life disappears while you get better.
One time my doc told me to stay away from stress, so I said, ok...I'll drop my kids off for the weekend. He didn't do it...I mean why make suggestions if you cannot realistically administer.
Dumb asses.
Hope you do feel better soon. Just rest when you can and let house go to hell...it will be waiting for you. And tell the kids there are new federal laws saying parents are only obligated to fed kids 2 times a week and they are on their own. My 10 year old has been making his sandwiches, oatmeal and such for a few years now.