Butt sex and assholes don't mix....

Before we get started I just want to point out the little poll thingy on the side there.
I'm curious to know who reads this thing.
I want the lurkers to come clean too damnit!
Why be a fucking lurker for the rest of your life?
Just tell me who you are and what you want.

Speaking of what people want...the last poll results have determined that most people read this blog hoping that I will become intoxicated and post naked pictures of myself.

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!
HAVEN'T YOU READ THE DEPRESSED BOOBIE POST?
DON'T YOU REALIZE THAT MOST MORNINGS I CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MY TITTIES AND MY KNEES???
AND THE STRETCH MARKS ON MY STOMACH RESEMBLE A NEW YORK CITY STREET MAP!!!


Whatever...it's YOUR eyeballs and therapy bills.

If it happens I WON'T be held responsible for any damages, self inflicted injuries, etc....
Consider that my personal disclaimer.

This weekend was something straight out of a "FUCK-ME-IN-MY-UNWILLING-ASS marathon!!!
I have never been so happy to get home as I was in the wee hours of Sunday morning.
I don't really feel like bitching about it so I'll just give you a visual and you can figure it out for yourselves...

The entire day Saturday!
A picture story by the Blonde Goddess...

Saturday morning I woke up...


Then I realized I'd overslept!


FUCK!I rushed around like my hair was on fire.

When we arrived at our destination (just a little late)the fun began...


I'm so lucky...aren't I?

Not only was I subjected to this spandexilicious form of torture but the monster truck show was in town too.
Here they are doing crowd control...



After thirty minutes I decided to have lunch...

Then it was much easier to sit and watch the shows. Everything looked different somehow...



This is me after lunch...wandering around back stage...

I ended up wandering around until I ran into the fat bitches that live to torment me. They started in on me and by they time they finally closed their fucking pie holes I felt like someone had sodomized me...


So I found my friends and we had an afternoon snack...


We had a great time with our waiter...

He was a fucking jerk so I left him a tampon and a penny...
We had a good laugh about it later...

Just because sometimes it's fun to be a bitch...

When we got back to where we were 'supposed' to be, we watched a few more shows and then we were hungry for supper.

So we went and "ate" again...

I vaguely remember watching a few more shows after that and then I went to the bathroom.


When I got back into the auditorium, people were applauding...


"Apparently" my kids won stuff with their groups or something like that.
One of the fat bitches ran over and gave me shit about my where-abouts so I explained to the fat whore EXACTLY what I thought about it...

It was the best part of the day really....

Then when I was sober enough to drive home, we left and I came home to Mr.Man...

Where I was properly sodomized.

You know...when I put it in pictures it doesn't seem to suck nearly as bad as I thought it did!
Saturday was actually a pretty fanfuckingtastic day!

Anyway...that's all I have. Vote on the poll thing and stop your fucking lurking. You're creeping me out!