Lick them fingers!!!

Yesterday was a complete bust. I tried to get something done and spent most of the day fighting off the urge to drink.
My teen-aged daughters are going to either send me to the nut house or an AA meeting. If they're not fighting, they're destroying everything in their path...or eating. Man they can eat!
I have started to lock the door to my room. Mainly because they take all of my stuff and I have almost nothing left. No amount of screaming, begging or torture can stop them either.
The other day I went to get dressed and had no underwear.
None...
What the hell is up with that?
I know who the culprit is, but I don't understand what's happening to all of her underwear. Why is she stealing mine? Are they disintegrating as she wears them?
Ewww....
And am I the only one who thinks it's nasty that she steals my panties?
I had to go commando the other day and even though it was a pleasant experience, it still pisses me off that all my panties are missing.

"Hi. My name is Tammie and I'm an alcoholic."

Yep...those girls are a sobriety challenge.

I do have a plan though...
When my adorable daughters move out and get their own homes, I will visit them, taking turns of course and live with them for months at a time.
I will bitch non-stop and complain about EVERYTHING from the weather to the decor to the vile sex noises they make at night that keeps me awake. I will dip their toothbrushes in the toilet because I know they do that to me when they're pissed at me and I'll steal their damn panties.
I'll shit my pants (wearing their panties of course)and sit in it, claiming I'm too old and feeble to change myself.
I will refuse to eat their food and throw huge tantrums for McDonalds instead.
Oh yeah...I will use their credit cards to buy useless items like oxygen and a snow blower (if we're living in the south) and watch them pull their hair out of their heads when the bill comes.
And just in case that's not enough payback, I'll accidentally forget to put clothes on and walk through the house. Things should be pretty scary looking by then, so I think it might be sufficient enough to make one lose their appetite.

They have no idea what a horrid future they're making for themselves. Every god awful thing they do to me generates a new devious plan...BWAHAHAHA!!!

In other news, they Rib Fest is in town. I dropped by last night to check out the yummies. Looks pretty darn tasty too. The only problem that I could see is that the beer garden was too far away from the food and the bathrooms and there were way too many perverts there. I licked BBQ sauce off my fingers and suddenly there were forty men staring at me and following me around.I made a mental note that if I go again tonight, I'm bringing wipes....gheeee....creepy shit, you know?

The itchy scratchies are there too. Now don't get me wrong. I have nothing against the carnival, I've just always referred to it as the itchy scratchy show ever since my friend's older brother brought home a case of the crabs after hooking up with a girl working the carnival. It's one of those things that just stayed with me.
Anyway, the kids want to go and I'm tempted to see if they'd be interested in the pantie stealing daughter. I mean, I'm trapped in pants and shorts as long as she lives with me. I always fall down and expose my ass when wearing skirts or dresses so I'm not taking any chances.
My son has been begging my husband to take him over there all morning, so I might be able to dodge that bullet. I'm hopeful anyway...

One last thing....yes...the picture of me is indeed me. It's what I really look like and no...I did not steal it from a travel brochure for Sweden. To the person who emailed me and asked me about that I hope that answers your question.