Three..

They say that death comes in threes. This is an old wives tale but it's also been my experience to watch for death once someone I love dies.
With the passing of Upsda, I had wondered if death would visit the small community I call my family and friends and found myself wating anxiously, trying to push it from my mind.

Last weekend my best friends mother died.

My friend "Sandy" and I have known each other forever. We started playing together when I was three and we were inseparable. Needless to say, I spent many, many days at her house. Her mother became my mother. The normalcy her family offered my broken little life was something beautiful. It drew me in and wrapped itself around me like a blanket of reason in a world of confusion. It's hard to explain, really...but it was everything good in my life and once I stepped through the doors of that house,it was like going to Grammie's or Nanas and I felt like nothing could touch me that was bad or harmful.

For her to lose her mother is like me losing mine as well.

So...this is the reason I have not been writing. I grieve better when I am alone with my thoughts. I deal with pain like a wounded animal...running away and staying hidden until I'm healed.

I'm not a superstitious person so worrying about a third person in my life won't be an issue, but it will sit firmly in the back of my mind, pressing itself into my thoughts. And until it leaves and I can finish grieving, my thoughts will not be my own.

I'll be back when they are...