I'll fight but only if there is make-up sex involved....

There are many, many things I love about Mr.Man. I can think of half-a-million or more things.
BUT.....there are a few things that make me want to light up the blow-torch and get busy on his gonads.



One of those things I DON'T LIKE is how he seems to ENJOY arguing.
He's a fighter.



I, on the other hand, am a lover.



I HATE fighting.
In fact I will go to almost extreme measures to AVOID fighting with him.
One time I literally ripped my clothes off in the middle of a fight and started jumping up and down and singing "Get Down Tonight" by KC and the Sunshine band.
It shut him up COMPLETELY and for a long time he didn't say anything so I thought I had pulled it off. I had stopped the fight! I assumed that I had distracted him enough to stop arguing.
Yeah...RIGHT!
I assumed wrong...
It just infuriated him and the fight continued. AND apparently my boobies slinging about wildly distracted him so he attempted to dress me in the middle of yelling at me.
I didn't make it easy on him though. Do you have ANY idea how hard is it to put flopping breasts into a bra? ESPECIALLY when you're not used to putting breasts of any kind into anything, let alone a bra. That's right. I did NOT stay still...


TAKE THAT MR.MAN!!!

I think I'm a relatively easy going person. I know I get excited when the Elderly Hellions target me but they're plotting against me...remember?
And yes, retarded window-licking sons-a-bitches that can't drive worth a shit get me a little irritated too, but I'm harmless. I normally rant about it. I don't get into an argument with these people. I HATE arguing!

Mr.Man can get upset pretty easily. And when he gets mad at me, his head explodes. I get mad at him and I try to see his point of view and EVEN if I don't agree with it, I TRY to be diplomatic about it. I do not explode, I do not scream and yell, I do NOT pass go and collect a hundred dollars....

SO....when he gets mad at me and I don't get mad back, then it makes him madder(whatever the fuck that means).
He says he doesn't want to be married to a doormat and he hates it that I don't like to fight back.
Honestly, I'd rather let him lecture me on something and zone out thinking about his naked body and what will happen AFTER the fight than to fight back.I'm just being honest. He's ranting on and on about something that I'm not really paying attention to and I'm thinking about this...



Can you blame me?

I've only had the desire to have maybe 5 arguments with him the entire 18 years we've been married. I'm not shitting you....I am serious. They have ALL involved money. Sometimes a Goddess has to put her foot down, ok?

The real sucky part about all this fighting bullshit is that 90% of the time, there is no make-up sex!
I AM CHEATED!
WHY DO I ALWAYS GET FUCKED ON THINGS LIKE THIS?!?!

OK...so maybe the question should be "WHY DON'T I GET FUCKED?!?!"

Whatever....
He tells me that if he gives me too much lovins that it will make me crazy.
WHERE THE HELL DOES HE LIVE?
DOES HE NOT REALIZE THAT I'M ALREADY CRAZY?

Meh...
I don't get it....